Wtf.
So, yeah, it’s been a while. What happened? Well, the fake version of the story is I got hired as the production stage manager of the upcoming Broadway hit musical Conan the Barbarian, starring Derek Klenna in the eponymous role, and don’t have time for blog writin’. The real version is I got real depressed ‘cause the world is in shambles, and couldn’t be bothered to keep up with anything.
But you’re not here for theater professional in-jokes or personal struggles - so, to the quests!
A LOT has happened. Like, I mean a lot. It’s been what, almost 3 months since my last freaking post? In that time, we’ve gone from level 8 to 29, and have killed about every adept in between.
Except these fucks.
At this point, we have so much adept gear we’re deleting shit left and right, and stuff rots on the regular. We’ve introduced side characters to help us kill shit. Sevak bought a RV. Muk sat through a 6 hour interview. Vanni is still making metal studs for our Amish characters. I became a unicorn
So, instead of going down a checklist of adepts, a veritable “Who’s Who” of dead elf pixels, I’ll do a “Best of.”
In Newport, thar be tales of mermaids who lost they mirrors, or something.
When one talks to yon maiden of the sea, she tells you some belligerent beach bum stole her mirror or maybe a brush or some shit, I don’t remember.
Basically, you engage the belligerent beach bum who lives on the beach outside of the Newport docks (Newport is what EverQuest fetishists would call “Qeynos.”) The fight is pretty simple. The dude will drop an item in the 1st empty slot in your inventory - a crab, or a shrimp, or a lobster or some other ocean bug that people feel oddly compelled to consume - and you need to right click it immediately or it will cast an 100 dmg DD to you. He drops these on you p. frequently, too.
The cool part about this boss is the loot you receive. You get the mirror, or the brush - whatever the fuck it is - and you turn it in to the merlady. The class of the person turning it in determines the loot - and there’s some cool shit.
I personally received this little sticker, which has leveled up to almost it’s max of 10/30 and a whopping 33 AC at this point. It’s got damage reduction. It’s got an aggro proc. It’s got a sweet post-Velious model that’s new to me. It’s fuckin’ dope and I still use it.
After Coralia, it’s sort of a sea of nameless adepts who went down like... well, I don’t know- you add your own sexual reference here. I was gonna go with “went down like a twink for his daddy on the 1st of the month” but I thought, who knows, maybe people aren’t familiar with gay vernacular.
Anywho, here’s a bunch of shots of Adepts we’ve sent to a farm upstate.
The Beetle Queen and her loyal subjects.
Bone is the worst name for a pet, but Alsobone is great.
Hey, wha happen?
No, that’s not Fizzletina. That’s just Shzoc.
Grikk gets got.
I think we killed this guy - once?
Runemaster Cervix is the hardest adept.
Now the good stuff.
RIP 1st Labor of Dalaya We’ll start here, with Othello the Raid Killer. This guy is kinda the reason our first labor of Dalaya failed. We quickly realized we were not going to be able to progress much farther with our fuckin’ sweet set-up of a Ranger tank and Shaman healer - as much as Muk may protest and say “RANGERS R TANKS.”
Othgualo is one of the most annoying fights to have to tank. His one basic mechanic is an AE that forces everyone in combat with him to shadow step and roots them in their new position. This also does a shit ton of damage to them. Then he summons whoever has the most aggro. Hopefully, that’s your tank. But often times, it’s your druid or enchanter, or your monk who just busted his load of monk juice.
The important thing about this shitheel is that he is dead now. And we have his gravy.
Look at this crate! It’s just a crate, right? No. Fuck that. It’s the longest fucking adept fight of your life.
The Crate of Pets is wave after wave (after wave after wave after wave after wave) of usually groups of three mobs. They can be crocs. They can be apes. They can be elephants or giraffes. You’ll kill so many waves you’ll feel compelled to ask in OOC “how long is the crate of pets fight? we feel like we’ve killed 5 waves by now” and someone will respond
“Sometimes, hours.”
Kill them all and eventually you’ll fight a boss pet. Kill that and you’ll probably end up with this fucking unit that turned Meatybone into a fucking animal for the rest of the night.
Fuck this guy. This guy right here is where we’re gonna end this post. We’ve killed this fat fiery fuck a number of times. He isn’t really that hard. We’ve even ALL two-boxed a character while fighting him. Basically, he spawns a fire pet at 3 of the 4 cardinal directions in a cross a few yards out from him. In the last cardinal position, a water elemental spawns. Every one in combat (except the tank) must be standing behind the water elemental a few seconds after it spawns or he will do something like... 566 damage to you or some bullshit.
None of this is really that bad (unless you’re two boxing). He’s fairly easy when you get the hang of him. The problem lies in the fact that if someone dies and is zoning while the mob dies...you lose the ability to loot the corpse. You can loot ONCE and report the loot to your group, but once you leave the window no one else can loot from him.
Which leads me to this:
You have 14 Days. If after that time the Plane Gozzlac is not properly tuned loot fixed, I am deleting my characters, and cancelling all of my accounts. The rest of my guild friends will follow suit, as will several other guilds and people no one else that play Everquest Shards of Dalaya. ... 14 Days.... after that this site will change from the most popular least popular EQ SoD fan nerd site shitpage on the internet to the most popular World of Warcraft fan site least read abandoned waste of bandwidth on the internet. I'm done playing ball with you useless fuckers... it's my turn.
