Ok, finally home from hell (8 and 1/2 hour shift no breaks) let's get back to it, love your thoughts, love the graphic!
Oh holy shit Kirsten as the first adopted child, you're so smart for that. I do agree on oldest, most traditional - strict I would maybe argue falls on Mary - when they're all running through the woods playing, Mary is the one with the sour face the one not participating. Like I think Kirsten is someone who has to bottle so much up and I think it's so interesting that she has them run freely and scream at the top of their lungs because she probably feels like doing that 90% of the time.
Very true Mickey and Tina's arrival is so hilarious it caught me off guard. Just "hi hello here are two new children have fun?" And his sort of like "I guess?!". When I watched it I most certainly thought the first three were biological kids and then Mickey and Tina were the only adopted ones. And yeah it's difficult to explain how she uses the children in relation to Leo. Like after what happened with Kirsten, I would think that's the last straw. He assaults a 15 year old, my instinct would be to leave, definitely not bring more children around. Like why was Gwenda the last straw for her you know? How much did he cheat and why would more children be her revenge move? I need to rewatch many more times to put stuff together now retroactively with all the pieces but, who knows.
Very true she does love her children very much, but unfortunately I think her love (and to an extent all love, let's be honest) comes from fear - fear of her image, fear of them leaving her - and a lot of her love then expresses itself as possession and control, which is...not great - the panic attack in the bunker exactly. And her having that built is the ultimate expression of that fear/possession/control/love cycle. If the whole world burns down, you will survive here with me whether you like it or not.
And yes, yes ah Hester. Need to study that girl under a microscope. I think honestly it might be like denial? Or like hopefulness to the point of denial? If I ignore this thing it isn't real. If no one knows about my drinking or if I treat it with nonchalance then it's not real and I'm fine, everything's fine. I don't know. I've only seen it once, and like any time I watch something and am compelled by the acting choices I'll rewind it a couple times to watch it again, but I need a couple full rewatches to really put everything together in context with the whole show.
Thank you! that's a very high compliment, that one was an original, probably definitely inspired by something somewhere, but I loved the graphic you made of it, That's so flattering! And also that scene! How casually cruel Rachel is and how Hester leaves nearly immediately after! Ahhhhh!
Yeah exactly these are my guys, sorry to you Agatha fans, I simply do not care about all that in this instance. (And sorry for this damn essay geez)
i hope u can rest well after that shift 😟 no breaks??
yeah dunno why i said strict then. my bad. i think i was thinking 'parental' - because she's not quite a sibling with the others, there is a motherly aspect. yes, she has really kept so much repressed over the years. the scene in the kitchen with her and jack is just heartbreaking. its actually painful to think about, the way he just comes to talk to her and gets slightly rejected (not really!!! not really jack !! don't leave, she just got nervous!)
And her having [the bunker] built is the ultimate expression of that fear/possession/control/love cycle. If the whole world burns down, you will survive here with me whether you like it or not.
another banger observation.
i always understood the bunker as her way of staying in control, but i never really extended that to her kids. its probably why she took tina wanting to leave home so hard, losing that love/control over them.
hmmm. i never really understood if leo cheating was a regular thing or if it was only with kirsten and that was what rachel meant that gwenda was not the first staff member. it's probably meant to be vague. perhaps the gwenda thing was the last straw because everything else was falling apart with her kids, so she decided fuck it. she was seriously busy that night, wrecking her relationships with everrrryone.
ella said in this interview: "she has the family persona where she plays the princess and she has her real character, which is how she behaves with her siblings where she acts much older."
very sweet idea that how she acts with her siblings is the real her, but i often feel that she also hides parts of herself from them too (though that's not a 'persona' - just keeping secrets), probably for the reasons u mentioned.
actually that whole interview is very good. some of her thoughts on hester and rachel's relationship: "a lot of their relationship is based on what Hester looks like and Rachel is always selecting her clothes and making sure Hester always looks perfect which is why Hester develops an obsession with her appearance, maintaining this expectation even after Rachel is murdered [...] I do however think she loves her mother, they all do in some way, but it’s a weird kind of love when you love someone who doesn’t give you anything back."
we should invite ella to chat with us, i think she's on the same page.
im glad u liked the graphic 😅 i still have the urge to delete it. but tumblr is anonymous so i guess i cant be too embarrassed.
