A Monster’s Embrace
Synopsis: being alone in bed with Elinor is enough to send you into a philosophical spiral that she only wishes to make worse.
Pairing: Elinor Fairmont x reader
words: 1.9k
A/N - little bit obsessed with first kill. massively obsessed with elinor. this is purely self indulgent and i might write more. might not. who knows?? i take requests
Warnings - a few mentions of blood, vampires, and murder. little bit of choking. some toxic relationship elements and a hint of blasphemy.
If our humanity is measured through our sense of morality does every night spent in her embrace make you a monster?
Elinor Fairmont was perhaps the most beautiful woman you had ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes upon. All the elegance of a majestic bird soaring through life. A perfect example of an unrealistic beauty standard is that pretty face paired with a deliciously devilish smile. Tall but not too tall. Long blonde hair with never a strand misplaced. Truly a league about the rest but in the absolute worst way because that pretty face was merely camouflage for what lay underneath. Miss Fairmont held a secret that weighed heavily on your mind. In the beginning, you were just any other naïve victim but what excuse did you have now? what excuse did you have for ignoring every red flag she violently waved right before your eyes?
This was never supposed to happen but she was a master of her craft. You were simply one of many that had been so easily manipulated. so how did it ever get to this point? You'd never offered anything more than the others. and yet, you're here and alive. In a house that wasn't your own. In a room that was glamorous and perfect; each item had its place that was neat and uniform. Laying in a bed that was just a little too soft and welcoming. A woman beside you sleeping. Sometimes in moments like this, you can't help but wonder what life would be like if you simply walked away from the blonde you'd become so enthralled with...
"Are you okay?" Her sugary-sweet voice serves as a surprise that cuts through the darkness. As does the hand that now graces your arm. You flinch away instinctively. It's only natural to want to escape the unexpected moment of affection, right? Even after all this time? You try but it's hard to not react in such a way to her delicate touch. It's gotten worse as of late. Ever since you caught a glimpse of the treasure trove she keeps hidden away in her drawer.
"I'm fine," it's a quiet lie. the answer that everyone gives to avoid talking about their issues.
"Then why is your heart racing?" You hate that she can hear something so out of your control. "You're also warm and a little sticky."
"Just a bad dream," you admit but without any kind of elaboration. These dreams were a common occurrence but hardly something you wished to share with Elinor. A few moments of silence pass by before she squeezes your arm just a little.
"Are you really that freaked out?" She questions although you take it as rhetorical. "don't worry, I'll protect you from the scary dreams." You can sense the smile behind her words. That hint of sarcasm always edged her tone when she mocks you. In many ways it was a genuine statement, She was a fiercely loyal individual who would do anything to protect those she deemed worthy. But she was also just mean; took any chance to make fun of the mundane. A soft sigh slips past your lips and it's followed by an exaggerated sigh from her. "lighten up," you offer the night a smile you're not sure Elinor can even see. you don't know what to say. How to explain that she can't protect you from the feelings you keep in the lockbox of your chest. Minutes tick by. Who knows how many before you fall back down against the mattress and shift onto your side facing her. Her eyes are shut but you know she's not sleeping. Merely thinking. Probably scheming. They gradually flutter open to reveal the exquisite blue that's hidden beneath. "Go to sleep," she remarks. "stop staring at me."
A huff of a laugh; genuine but quiet. This is the most vulnerable Elinor ever allows herself to be. "sorry,"
"you're being so weird tonight." It was hardly different to any other night, she was just never generally awake to witness the nightmare. You'd typically watch her sleep as you tremble and try to get your breathing under control. But it's a difficult process because your constant nightmare is also your reality. That monster that haunts your dreams is simply a manifestation of, well, the vampire sleeping peacefully beside you. you take a deep breath to let the nerves settle.
"Why do you keep me around?"
It's a little hard to make out but you watch her expression morph from something of dreamy amusement to furrowed confusion. "excuse me?"
"Why do you keep me around?" You repeat. "why am I here?"
Elinor seems almost surprised by your forwardness. Her face softens before she turns so she's on her back looking up towards the ceiling. "Guess I just wanted a plaything like everyone else."
"So I'm just a plaything?" You sit up a little, leaning down on the palm of your hand.
"What do you want me to say?" Elinor briefly glances in your direction. "We're not like... destined to be together or some shit like that."
"I never thought we were destined to be together." this wasn't some fairytale with a happy ending. Elinor wouldn't be part of it if it was. if your relationship was a story, it'd be some messy horror.
"oh I know," she nods a little. "you wouldn't be so scared of me if you did."
a tidal wave of heat washes over you and you freeze. Staring at the woman who was now looking back at you; a curious quirk on her lips. Elinor was a vampire. Vampires drink blood. She needed to drink human blood to survive. But while you understood it was a vital part of her survival, that didn't make it any easier to accept. There was always this idea surrounding vampires that the good ones should be ashamed of who they are. they should denounce the notion of feeding off humans, making them decent people. But that just wasn't Elinor. She relished in the parts of herself that were dark and manipulative. She got off on the thrill of sinking her fangs deep into a neck and gradually draining a living person of their blood until they're just a husk of their former selves. It wasn't just survival. It was about power. She stood firmly at the top of the food chain and she saw absolutely nothing wrong with that. You, however, weren't a vampire and saw many things wrong with that. the most obvious being the issue with killing people. Elinor was a cold-blooded murderer and proud which chilled you to the very core. thoughts of what she gets up to in the shadows swirl around your head. it leaves a dark pit deep down inside your stomach. "You think I'm scared of you?"
"Duh," Her shoulders rise and fall. "You jump every time I touch you. When we first met I thought your heart might explode with how fast it was beating." It's a feeling of guilt that hangs heavy on your heart whenever you're around Elinor. You spend so much time with her; you're supposed to like her not live in fear that any wrong move will lead to death. But you can't help it. She was scary. Anyone who knew her would agree. "it's never really stopped," the blond diverts onto her side once more, placing her perfectly manicured hand against your chest. She was feeling your heartbeat. "deep down... I know you're terrified of me." that made you feel even worse for thinking she was a monster. for letting her haunt your fantasies even though it was out of your control. She didn't deserve that. "You always will be scared that one day, I might just," a once tender moment turns dark as her hand darts for your neck, pushing you swiftly against the bed. "snap." the blonde shuffles nearer, keeping you pinned down. she leans in so closely, that you can feel her warm breath bathe your skin. it's a struggle to swallow against the pressure of her grip. "I already know just how delicious you are," whispered into your ear as her fingers press deeper into your neck. "maybe I should just kill you right now, hmm? relieve you of the fear," a quirk of her brow. " it'd be oh so easy." such an intoxicatingly sultry tone to her threat. a moment is frozen in time as she stares down at you. she's hardly even choking you; it's just enough to make your heart race. to show who's in charge here. She could if she wanted to but she won't kill you. that glint in her eye is playful, not murderous. you grab the girl's wrist and her clasp loosens. a heavy sigh as she returns to her original spot on the bed. "that's probably why I keep you around, I like that you're scared of me."
That was a pretty messed up thing to do. it also made little sense in the grand scheme of things but nothing made sense anymore. was she trying to torture you? How does that work when she doesn't force you to be here? it's your choice to be here. it's one of the many things that confused you. why did you always come back? "i... don't understand."
"you're scared of me and yet, you go out of your way to be here," she clarifies. "I don't understand why you're here when you think so little of me."
that's the thing though. you don't think little of her. in fact, you cherished the very ground she walked on. You held Elinor up on this incredibly high pedestal; saw her as a god walking amongst the mortals just like she wanted. And that's what terrified you more than anything. Sure she was a big scary vampire but you throw caution to the wind for sparse moments spent in her presence. it's the most confusing part of this whole thing. you're willing to look past such violent atrocities like they're merely misdemeanors. "I'm sorry." you don't know why you're apologising but it's all you could think of to say.
"Don't be," she urges. "I don't care what you think of me." you wonder if that's actually true. if there isn't some part of her that is desperate for approval from everyone. a delicate hand grasps your chin, you tense up and she waits for you to relax before running her thumb over your cheek. "you're cute," her voice but a whisper in the night. you almost don't hear her. "it's a weakness."
"for me... or for you?" Elinor leans in to catch you in an unexpected embrace; it's such a temperate kiss it's over before it's even started. it's very unlike her.
"both." A flash of a smile before she rolls over once more. that pit in your stomach fades just a little but that's hardly a good thing.
If humanity is measured through our sense of morality then where does that leave you as someone willing to pardon such a power-hungry vampire? Are you just as bad for not turning her into hunters or the police? are you a horrible person for being scared of someone so willing to protect you? or is humanity simply overrated when it came to Miss Elinor Fairmont?
