All right I did sort of an initiation spell thing.
Bestowing trust in my own thoughts, my own power, and my own tools. That kind of thing.
I also cleansed my crystal in snowmelt the night before and bathed it in full moonlight during the first ritual, so it should be fully charged.
Created a title page in my grimoire and signed a contract into it stating that this is the path I’m following.
It feels like a big deal! But the whole time I felt really anxious and unsure of myself. I really need to learn to tackle that feeling head on and do away with it.
Practice makes perfect, but I have so little time and privacy to practice in. And definitely still no altar space.
And so my wand, my athame, my chalice, my grimoire, my candles, and my herbs are just floating around in seperate dusty nooks and crannies where no one would think to look.
I’m still trying to deal with the notion that I have to do everything in secrecy. It’s no problem at all for me to practice in solitude. But my fear of getting caught is definitely holding me back from falling into some sort of comfort zone.