#firstborn daughter

[dawnpoured]

[crystalline-cheeto]

it makes me legit so sad to watch my dad spend time with my little brother

like I’m glad for my brother. This ain’t about my brother. He did nothing wrong at all

but my dad cares about and spends time with and does things for my brother so much more than he did/does for me or my sisters.

he has “guy time” with my brother at least every other day and watches a show with him or plays video games with him and it’s just. why don’t I get special time with you dad. I love you too you know. do you not love me as much because I’m a girl?

I guess I shouldn’t complain. since I’m the oldest I still have memories of him making snowmen with me and play wrestling with me and making me blue scrambled eggs and just. being fun. my sisters don’t get to see that side of him. and honestly it hurts me more to think about all the “nice daddy” moments they missed than to think about all the future “nice daddy” moments I’ll never have

[chunkacoal]

Love to My First Born

To Christen Blair:

Clear blue eyes fluttering, looking up at me so bright.

Sparkling and shining in the early morning light.

A sweet little smile, and a turn of the head;

Little fists bound together, wanting out of your bed!

Tiny legs kicking, squeals and more smiles.

Mornings with you love can carry me for miles!

I love you my darling. My heart overflows.

These memories I will cherish, as older you grow.

January 13, 1983

[missasoup]

It’s bareeeeeely 10 o’clock in the morning here, and it’s already 31°C ☠️ and with humidity it feels like 35°C☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ I’m not joking, I truly can’t breathe.

And my dad is fucking insufferable, talking about “open the window to get air circulation”, knowing he got rid of the green area outside of my window and put concrete on it. And now my room doesn’t get any breeze anymore and it’s suffocating me, bcs the concrete is keeping the heat from the sun.

Oh, and btw, he never asked or informed me beforehand about his ‘concrete idea’. I had to yell at him in front of the concrete men for doing it, while the concrete men were pouring and smoothing the the layers. ☠️☠️

[baby-junnet]

Firstborn Daughter

The laziness of a firstborn daughter

Doing so much behind the curtain

But always getting caught doing nothing

Desperate for a head pat

But always hiding tears behind the curtain

The attitude of a firstborn daughter

She has so many secrets she never shows

Just can’t share them with unauthorized personnel

But she won a prize for best customer service at work

The anger of a firstborn daughter

She is twenty-four and still being yelled at

That is not her entire personality

She wants a miracle, not a lesson

I sink into my pillow instead of touching grass

Because the scab won’t heal

[spankerella]

[with-fire-and-ice]

Me, a firstborn daughter after therapy: I'm ready for my mistake era.

[stinking-out-loud]

Ranting

Me just ranting because I want to get this annoying feeling out. If it resonates with someone who happens to read this, feel free to voice your story.

I wonder if this is a long-term symptom of firstborn-daughter syndrome, but I feel like I am the person everyone goes to when they have problems; however, whenever I have an issue I can't get help from anyone. Since I'm the one who is competent and gets stuff done, I have no one to turn too when there is a thing I can't do. Usually those things are also just so out of my control anyways (ex. waiting for approval on an application I entered, etc.).

Like, who helps the help?

It's gotten pretty bad in my opinion. Even my own parents come to me for assistance. Bruh, you're my parents, you're supposed to be the ones that I go to when I need help...

The universe has decided to take it a step further and have some absolute complete strangers come to me looking for help. Someone I don't know called me while I was at work asking questions about getting a job with the company I work for. Why was I the one picked for this task? Out of all the people working at my company, I was the one that got drafted into helping. I see this is as proof the universe is chaotic and RNG hates me real bad.

This same person comes to me asking for "favors" randomly, and I do my best to help, because that's the right thing to do. It's kind of annoying though. I'm trying to enjoy my day off and the person calls seeing if I can help them find a place to live in my area?! That's a you problem buddy, outside my job description, and asking too much of a person you've never met.

Of course, I feel bad turning them away. I need to establish boundaries though. Certainly, I'm not the only person in the world who will only go so far to help a stranger?

So many people have asked me for favors at this point I should be the f'ing Godfather.

"You come to me, on my one day off, askin' for a favor?"

Car rides (pick up and drop off), finding things, translation work, emotional labor, shopping, and so on and so on.

Wouldn't be so bad if all the people I helped showed up for me in other ways. Invite me out to events, show actual interest in my hobbies, occasional gifts, and... I don't know. It's just they only come and talk to me when they need something. Sure they say "thank you", but that really doesn't pay for the gas I spent to drive people around. It doesn't give me more time for my things after I used up mine for them.

I'm exhausted world. Please send help.

P.S. Is there a word for this feeling or phenomenon?