#fishycrackers

[accuratenitw]

Mae: All I ever wanted was to be your friend, and you treat me like a big joke. You think I don’t notice? Why don’t you like me?

Bea: Mae…

Mae: No, tell me.

Bea: Because… I’m jealous.

Mae: Oh. Of what?

Bea: Of everything. Everything comes so easy for you. I… want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know how. I don’t know if I can.

[accuratenitw]

*Eide appears from nowhere in Mae’s room.*

Mae: How’d you get in here? …Are you FedEx?

Eide: I am the bringer of great and terrible things.

Mae:...

Mae: Is that the new slogan? ‘Cause, that’s not very catchy at all. You know, I mean, I guess it’s better than “What can brown do for you,” because that reminds everyone of pooping.

[accuratenitw]

Dinner at Bea’s

Bea: What’s this vegetable called? I’ve never had it before.

Mae: Dunno.

Bea: What about the meat, then?

Mae: Dunno.

Bea:

Mae:

Bea: This stuff IS edible, right?

Mae: I’m eating it.

[accuratenitw]

Candy: *crying*

Mae: What’s wrong mom? Are you picturing my future again?

[accuratenitw]

Mae: Hey kid, what’s going on?

Lori: Teenage rebellion.

Mae: Eff yeah! Stick it to the old people.

[accuratenitw]

Mae: Bea, how do you manage to stay cool all the time?

Bea: Because I don’t get into arguments with stupid people. I just cut it short and say “You’re right.”

Mae: But… that’s completely irrational and wrong.

Bea: You’re right.

[accuratenitw]

Mae: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Bea: Mae, how tall are you?

[accuratenitw]

Prom Night

Angus: Aww Gregg, you don’t eat a hot dog wearing a tuxedo.

Gregg: ?

Gregg: This hot dog’s not wearing a tuxedo.