#fjf original

[rareandradiant-maiden]

what's up with unrealistic body standards for men on this website tho

?????

i dont

like if i reblogged something wrong please let me know

but if you’re trying to start a discussion, which i support, i am definitely the wrong person to ask

internalised heteronormativity + internalised perceptions of toxic masculine gender roles combine to form “men are inherently aggressively sexual” which makes my sex aversion :/ when said men are presented sexually

and according to my religion sexual is defined as 

touching a woman in any way

being alone with a woman in any way

(where woman excludes close family and children)

any area of skin above the elbow, below the collarbone, above the knee, or which is commonly covered in a particular place

and even without sex aversion, religiously i would try hard not to see #4 

so like. can’t help you, buddy.

[rareandradiant-maiden]

on media

caitlin moran, a columnist for the times magazine who i really admire and  who writes fantastically, did a lists column today, and in one of the "ten things teenage girls need to know" she put "your key hobbies need to be long country walks (get some fresh air in your lungs), masturbation, and the revolution. between these three, you should stay relatively sane"

and again i felt alienated (also not exactly repulsed, but a bit ew, like, sex aversion, ok?). idk, just another small bit of pop culture which i thought i could identify with on many levels slipping through my fingers. bye, caitlin moran. you sort of gave me my politics.

in my mind i am eventually only able to see myself in 18th century novels where the characters are religious and have romantic desire in spades but just don't speak about a sex drive, bc it's too improper.

but like. asexual sex-repulsed religious jewish intersectional feminist who will almost certainly never have a romantic relationship. i can never see an actual reflection of myself in culture (although i am white, neurotypical, able-bodied, i have to remember these privileges).

how does it feel, to watch a film, see thin teenagers in love, and identify with them? i can't really imagine

(when i do imagine, briefly - cat in ten things i hate about you bears a strong similarity to a much more polished+mature version of thirteen-year-old me - it's really uncomfortable for me when the characters do things i feel uncomfortable with)

[rareandradiant-maiden]

considering changing feministjewishfangirl to feministjewishblogger, i no longer feel like a fangirl 

[rareandradiant-maiden]

a thing

i really, really, really want to be a part of the rationalist community. it exemplifies a large part what i want to be, do, think about?

but i'm worried that i'll be unwelcome as a woman (maybe?) and a religious theist (definitely). 

also i have like an intellectual crush on it (there needs to be a better word for this feeling).

i assign it much too much weight in my life. the rationalist boys (i don't know any rationalist girls......) in my life, i inflate my feelings and esteem/respect for. i catch myself internalising the philosophy without any criticism. in that vein, i also allowed a nonsensical point made at 2am to upset my entire worldview. i took Maths A level, which i didnt want to do and which is fucking me up, for this.

so im in kind of a quandary. well not exactly, i don't have an imminent choice to make, but sort of a gentle ideological nudging to sort myself out.

hopefully this will be part of my growing up. knowing what i'm about (on this level of schools of thought, b"H i have basic values, interests, morality etc figured out as far as i can)

[rareandradiant-maiden]

fuckyeahheroesandheroinessaid: ahh, i really want to follow it, but i dont have a great textual knowledge of things (but im starting to learn). i wish i knew more and where to start though

mostly i use hebrew script so you can just google it and it'll pop right up. if not, feel 100% free to message me (this applies to anything i have written anywhere, tbh)

wrt finding a place to start, there are shiurim (jewish classes) all over the internet. some are more text-based than others, find your own comfort zone. if you prefer written resources, the Chabad site is always a great place to be.

also bennistar & parshanut makes me happy. (parshanut is more about text analysis and familiarity with the mefarshim - commentators - than about actual linguistic skills, but idk i just find it really enjoyable. bennistar usually uses text to source halachic points, which is how you'll probably be using most text yourself, so it's really useful)

[rareandradiant-maiden]

I live for your communistic memes omg

??????????????????

[rareandradiant-maiden]

private blog at judaismromanceandangst.tumblr.com, message me for the password if you're interested. if you don't have a great textual knowledge of judaism you might have issues understanding some posts.

[rareandradiant-maiden]

@me GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP