What they don't tell you about dating a guy who's a hundred and ten is that, in spite of a literal century's worth of life experience, sometimes that guy will act like a teenager, and there's just no way around it.
"You can stop playing that clip now," Sam calls out, as he opens his moisturizer. "Watching it a hundred times isn't going to prove your theory."
"It's not a theory, Samuel," says Bucky, appearing in the bathroom doorway with his arms crossed. From the bedroom, Sam can hear the same video that he found Bucky glaring at when he got home today, the recording of the bombastically popular podcast that the Avengers PR team convinced him to appear on. "It's a fact. That woman is clearly interested in you."
"Some people are just friendly, Buck. It's rare, but it happens. It doesn't mean she's coming onto me."
"Oh, yeah? And how often do people who are 'just friendly' touch your arms over the course of a conversation, hm?"
Sam can't argue that part. The interviewer had reached around the table to touch him so many times over the course of the hour that he'd started to worry that there was something on his sleeve that she was trying to knock off. (There hadn't been, for the record. Sam has always been a meticulous lint-roller.)
Instead, he just shakes his head and says, "She's getting married, Buck. Her fiancée is in the NFL and he bought her a ring that cost like half a million dollars; everyone knows that."
As Sam starts to moisturize his face, Bucky comes up behind him, arms snaking around his waist as he rests his chin on Sam's bare shoulder.
"You didn't notice it, did you?" asks Bucky, catching Sam's eye in the mirror.
"Notice what?"
Bucky's smirking now, which is how Sam knows he's in trouble. "Her ring. You didn't notice."
"There was nothing to notice," says Sam, but he thinks back to last week anyway, tries to remember if he'd noticed anything weird about her jewelry.
"Exactly," says Bucky. "There was nothing to notice because she took off her engagement ring."
"No, she didn-" But Sam cuts himself off, thinking about all the times that she reached over to touch him, all the times he should've been blinded by an obnoxiously big diamond reflecting the studio lights.
"Well?" asks Bucky, his grin triumphant. "Who's imagining things now, Samuel?"
"Still you," says Sam. "She could've taken her ring off for any reason. That thing's huge; it probably gets in the way of her note cards or her mic or something. This has nothing to do with me."
"That's weird," says Bucky, "because the comments are pretty sure that you're the only guest she's taken it off for in the year that she's been engaged."
He takes a half-step back then, grabbing the jar of scar balm off the counter and steadying Sam with one hand as he begins applying it. Sam lets his eyes drop closed for a moment, savoring the firm press of Bucky's fingers against the sore muscles in his back, the practiced swoops that they make along old and new scars from a lifetime of flying.
"That's on you for reading the comments," says Sam. "You know no one in the history of the world has ever been right in the comments section."
"I don't know about that," Bucky murmurs. "Sometimes they get it right."
Sam snorts. "You sure about that?"
"Didn't the people in your Instagram comments figure out that you weren't single from the background of a selfie?"
"Who said they were right, though?"
Bucky narrows his eyes. "Very funny."
"I am, aren't I?" asks Sam, blinking innocently at a scowling Bucky in the mirror. "Maybe it'll help me find a boyfriend one of these days."
"I'm breaking up with you," Bucky says flatly, before turning on his heel and heading back into the bedroom.
"You could just get me my own engagement ring instead," Sam calls out after him, grinning when Bucky stops in his tracks. "I promise to keep it on during podcasts and everything."
(It really is impressive, Sam reflects as he finds himself in bed a second later, how goddamn fast Bucky moves when he's motivated.)
You were attacked by a monkey?? Weren't you also hit by a bus at some point? What is your life
lol omg i didnt see this. well yes when i was like 6 years old or so my parents and i went on a trip to a neighboring state with our church and that was my first time at the zoo and i was standing far too close to the monkeys area (i love monkeys and im used to them because my uncle lives in the middle of the woods down south of our state so whenever i'd go over there i'd just basically be outside the whole time trying to find monkeys) & this one monkey like. mushed up a banana and threw it at me. he didn't really ATTACK me but he didn't not attack me
and yes i did get hit by a bus on october of 2016 so basically this year will mark a decade since i was regina george'd. @shelbygoodkind is probably the only online friend from that time that im still close to & she remembers very clearly everything that happened that day probably because i did scar a lot of people 😭
Can confirm it's hockey and almost sent my poor straight uncle to the show that has so much gay sex in it just because I wanted to talk about a hockey thing asdfghjkl
hahaha I love the idea of your straight uncle being like "sure :) I like hockey :)" and then just getting bombarded by seemingly endless gay sex scenes
Hi! Do you know where I could watch the 2011 Much Ado About Nothing?
Officially, here! Less officially, I'd recommend DMing OP of this post which is how I got my copy (it's the best quality download I've personally come across) and it also appears to be up on youtube in parts here (I can't confirm it's 100% complete bc I haven't watched it through, but it looks like it's all there to me).
Heads up, in that Winona Ryder/Jenna Ortega gifset you kept using "bound" instead of "bond"
i can't fix it unfortunately but thanks for telling me! This is the reason why i can't be trusted without a transcript........................ I'm french, we love using "ou"
Bro let's talk about Knightley being the absolute best
OMG???? Yes, this might be my most perfect ask! Because George Knightley DOES NOT GET THE CREDIT HE DESERVES. Out of all of Austen, Darcy always gets all the attention, and really, Knightley is right there.
I mean, not to give you my entire backstory but Emma has been my favourite book for as long as I can remember. It’s just a totally superb novel, and the relationship between Emma and Knightley probably had a formative effect on my views on romance in media, and preferences for tropes that I still enjoy best today.
Their banter! The absolute comfort with each other, except for when The Feelings hit, and then they both become absolute panicked losers. The 2020 film really captured the total disaster that Knightley in love is that the other adaptions never quite hit. Here is a man who is totally wrecked by a woman, and still has his eyes totally open as to all her flaws, and loves her anyway.
Because let’s be real, all George Knightley ever wanted was a quiet life in Highbury, tending to the abbey and visiting his group of friends. He doesn’t want a crush on his best friend and neighbour, especially one that spends most of her time frustrating the hell out of him (spoiler, George: you get off on the drama!!)
Basically I’m just really here for a man being totally cast adrift by a woman, and doesn’t know what to do with his god damn self!!! He’s in such a state that he has to run away and hide from his feelings in another city, and omg, what a human disaster he is!!
Mannnnnn, I’m going to throw myself on the floor and just hyperventilate about the fact that someone sent me an Austen ask, because honestly, it’s made my day.
I’d like to finish by saying this is in no way an articulate answer, so enjoy my stream of consciousness, lol.
It's okay to be obsessed with the queer ika couches because they're not actually for sale! They're art pieces
OH wait that actually makes more sense! in that case they're cool as fuck. actually I personally think the lesbian one specifically is ugly but some of them are cute as fuck
