The Weekly Republican: 5 Things North Carolina Needs To Worry About
5. (Charlotte Specific) Every year/ every ticket you pay to North Carolina, you’re paying into the I-77 Lexus Lanes. The reason why you’re late for work everyday. North Carolina is not gonna see a single penny from the revenue aggregated from the I-77 Lexus Lanes for at least 50 years. Meaning, I’ll be garnering my 401(K) and/or Social Security (and still living outside of I-77 corridor), enjoying general purpose driving lanes, before we even get to the idea of any money being generated from the Lexus Lanes being re-divested into North Carolina. So, the $190 in court costs for the jaywalking and pot tickets will be given to God.
4. (Again, Charlotte Specific) If Pat McCrory loses his re-election (which is highly probable), we as Charlotteans will have to repay him for his “rainy day fund”. As a silent observer of the Black Lives Matter movement, resident of Charlotte, an African-American Democrat who works in Uptown who bared the brunt of the financial shitshow after the Uprising, I’m here to tell you that not a single, Goddamn penny from me is repaying for anything vis-a-vis a rainy day fund. That rainy day fund didn’t help the fact that I left the bakery-caff after work the day after the Uptown unrest, with just motherfucking $1.
3. Making sure there is no interference from the Grand Old Party with fixing HB2... as in repealing it altogether. For fuck’s sake, North Carolina has lost too much. A few NCAA games were slated to be played between Bank of America Stadium and Spectrum Centre, were moved because Pat McCrory wanted to get his Wake County ass into Mecklenburg County affairs! I’m surprised as all hell that Amazon didn’t drop their fulfillment centres because of HB2.
2. Had we not had flash flooding and EF-1 tornadoes on Wednesday, the Great Smoky Mountains would live up to it’s name... with no help whatsoever from states who know how to contain wildfires. As of 1 November, Washington State, California, or New Hampshire State Forestry officials couldn’t come into the state because those respective states have barred their state employees from entering North Carolina because of HB2. So, because of our (soon-to-be Former) Governor, if we didn’t have a band of strong thunderstorms and additional rain falling ALL DAY TODAY, Western North Carolina would still be a brazier.
1. WHO THE FUCK IS OUR GOVERNOR?! Is it Roy Cooper? Is it Pat McCrory? For fuck’s sake, it’s damn near a month after the election, and we know already America in general is fucked because we have Donald Trump as a president-elect, but North Carolina is in a league of its own, because he wants to get a full 100-county recount of all ballots, including absentee, military, sick/shut-in and imprisoned misdemeanour voters. McCrory is trailing by over 11,000 votes. Well over the recount margin.
