Ok so like I had a crush on my Band director back in high school and we where pretty good friends so I kept it on the down low.
Because it made me really uncomfortable having a crush on someone that much older than me
I’m not good at making friends with kids my age so I made friends with teachers and I didn’t want to lose him as a friend
I knew it was just a crush and would go away after high school
I have a boyfriend that I love very much
And last but not least: He is a really cool dude and I didn’t want to inconvenience him in any way shape or form because that kinda thing can escalate quickly and he had a wife and kids.
Anyways, I graduated a year ago and we still talk and are really good friends and I’m still with my boyfriend from high school. BUT DAMN. I thought it would go away by now but it has not and I still get giddy when he texts. I feel terrible. This is awful. I want to be friends but I’ll probably end up having to distance myself because I have a naturally flirty personality and it’s worse when I’m actually interested in someone and I don’t want to ruin anything with my boyfriend or my ex teachers family. I’m just really sad cause he is a really good friend! Thank you for coming to my diary entry.