In your patience and understanding I can only ask one thing of you. Take me as I am, shattered but in the process of being glued back together piece by piece. You wait, calm as ever while never making me feel bad for any of it as I’m only trying to exist in a world I’m still healing in day by day. You are my home and the warmth it brings endlessly because home can be more than a building. Some of us will never feel that normalcy of what is manmade and purely the material that will never have the soul belonging to the living. In lack of this, another soul is always sought out for one or for many as our relationship is built brick by brick. Stay close, keep me grounded for reach for the stability I need, for the companionship I crave like no other.
Though I a mess that was never an issue for you as I am what I am and you are what you are. It was never an issue. The issue can be found in the past from all my experiences bringing me wisdom at a price. Through you I learn I have meaning, that I am also a home to others and to reach for what I want even if I think I don’t deserve it. Not everything has to be earned, some times we just have rights like wanting to be around people I love, and I love you.
As you are my rock, the pillar I lean on I learn that answers can be simple, honesty will never be underrated to just be myself and become vulnerable. My past made me who I am, but it doesn’t have to make my future and present as the dead weight on my shoulder. I was never meant to be Atlas holding the powerful sky so life can see the sun again and again. I am working through my issues, my past, and without you I wouldn’t know what to do, where to put it and vent on the deepest level I could ever imagine.
A secret for two without shame.
This journey to self care and self love is a long one, but your steps stay in tune with mine. Faltering was never a possibility on your end as you’ve seen it a thousand times and will see it a thousand more. For that I thank you as compassion couldn’t be more clear than the look you hold for me. Eyes that once held me and captivated me to not look away tell me I will find peace, stability, and true love either from a god I worship, the friend who has my back, family that are a part of us, or what comes from a life partner. I will move past. I am not stuck without hope and power to move forward. It might not be my time yet but you will wait with all the care and affection to be found in the universe.
And this time I will be finding my true love in you, a god of many wonders. Soon I will be free to fly away, whole. I will be someone completely new when that time comes, reformed I am now a beautiful mosaic as the art I was always meant to be.
I am in the dark now as I accept my shadow, but nothing is forever. Change will always come to those that reach for it, for those willing to accept and embrace it.
So we both reach out to each other and a welcome home rings in my head soothingly. Home has never been warmer than in this moment as you reaffirm yourself as my rock to hold even against what tries to tear me away from you. Even from me.