The detective was a fraud. He was well aware of this. He had chosen to continue living as a fake, to perpetuate the lie. Perhaps it was a betrayal of his talent as a detective, but not everything was black and white like it was in those old noire films. There were lies that could do good, and truths that could do harm. There were truths that made reality stay the same and lies that could change peoples hearts.
Shuichi had lost everything, even his sense of self. He had no idea who Saihara Shuichi had been all along other than a creepy fanboy. However, he had gained this small amount of insight for solving the mystery at least. He could not regret it. Even if he found his life to be quite regrettable, and was constantly second guessing himself.
He didn’t feel like a detective anymore. He felt like a murderer who had gotten away with a crime scot free. He felt like he belonged behind bars, but was walking in public free of consequences. Perhaps rather than a detective from now on he should call himself a conman. All he was good for was tricking others into believing in him.
Shuichi had been so absorbed in his usual self loathing, that he did not notice until just now. He was a fake detective yes, but he still had the talents of one. In the corner of his eye he saw a familiar snow white head. That same man had been tailing him for the past few blocks. Shuichi suddenly remembered several techniques for losing a pursuer that a detective might employ.
All Shuichi did however was turn his head and greet the other in a nervous way. “Umm... is there a reason you’ve been following me? D-did I do something wrong to you?” Shuichi’s self esteem was so low, he immediately jumped to that result.
He felt kind of awkward bringing it up like this suddenly. Maybe he should have just let the person keep quietly following him instead of being rude. No, he had to confront it. He was anxious and avoidant by nature, but he was trying really hard to work on the second part, and stop running away from things. He made a promise he would not run away, even if that promise was a lie. “Are you stalking me? I don’t really think I’m a person worth stalking if that’s the case. I’m sure there’s someone more worth your time.” What the hell was he saying?
