#foreigner au

[incorrectmegazarak]

Tai Lung: You need them to think you’re stronger than you actually are.

Corrin: That’s what you do?

Tai Lung: Me?

Tai Lung: Oh, no.

Tai Lung: My power is no illusion.

Tai Lung: I can fucking demolish you.

[megazarak]

My Various Fic MCs as John Mulaney

Foreigner Series

Harmonious Series

Memento Mori Series

Peculiar Series

Redeemed Bular Series

Skybound Series

[harlequinroses]

China

Britain: *phone rings* WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BOMB MY FUCKING OFFICE!?

China: Tell me the names of who killed my daughter.

Britain: LIKE I SAID I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!Look let's just meet face to face and-

China: *hangs up*

Britain:

Britain: FUCKING WANKER!!

[incorrectmegazarak]

Boss Wolf, about Tai Lung: He didn't actually seem to like me very much, he threatened to kill me in public.

Po: Why would he want to kill you in public?

Tigress: I think what he meant was he threatened, in public, to kill him.

Po: Oh.

[incorrectmegazarak]

Shen: You’ve been giving Po a lot of attention lately.

Corrin: He’s sick.

Boss Wolf: We’re sick too.

Corrin: Then go to the doctors.

[incorrectmegazarak]

Shen: Tai Lung is the worst!

Shen: And that's not just the jealousy talking.

Shen: I'd say that to his face.

Shen: *Opens door*

Tai Lung: I need your help.

Shen: You're the worst.

[incorrectmegazarak]

-A week after Corrin comes to the Jade Palace-

Corrin: I know kung fu!

Tai Lung: For the last time, no you don’t.

[incorrectmegazarak]

Tigress: Now what?

Po: We save Corrin.

Viper: How?

Po: No idea.