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Forever Is Over by The Saturdays

#the saturdays #thesaturdaysedit #lyrics #lyricsedit #forever is over #wordshaker album #mine #edits #the saturdays lyrics #sadbeautifultragic

Things were never right between us you never loved me, you loved the idea of me. You knew I was to good for you. You always sought comfort from other people. You were never loyal and i don't think you even knew the meaning of loyalty. For months you would stay out late filling your body with poison instead of being home with your family. You would drive home with no regards for other human life that you were putting in danger + even worse less for the life we brought into this world. You would stumble in the door barley able hold yourself up. You became cold and disconnected months before while I contemplated taking my own life because if the person i loved most couldn't find a way to change and be better and love me then i couldn't be happy without you. You would drink throughout the days and sneak around so you could get your fix. We were not enough for you. My soul was saved while you were busy draining me of life, then when i started to heal myself, you hated that I was changing and starting to be whole without you again. I never needed someone else to figure out that I am strong. For the first time ever, i saw a future that wasn't consumed by you. For so many years prior i held onto a narrative that hadn't existed for a very long time. Holding onto you became fuel to feeling something because sometimes holding onto someone that is no longer yours is more pleasurable because we can indulge in what could have been but that carry no weight in reality. There comes intense strength in surrendering a past that could have been a possible future. Real love isn't about being desperate, yes i loved you, so deeply i can still feel it in the back of my chest, but you unfortunately did not. Your behavior for the past years was a reflection of your inner self and i had no way of knowing. You refused me because of what i did while trying to survive. You hate me for trying to be happy without you while you found happiness in others for years while i was right in front of you looking you in your eyes while telling you, you were my everything. I understand now, truly. A wounded ego needs things to be personal, that is why you enjoyed being inside someone else while still be able to come home knowing that i was there. You didn't lose me overnight, but i did walk out of the door one day because if i didn't you would have taken everything from me and even after that you still tried too. I cared for years and months and days and hours. It was not enough. I am allowed to miss you or rather miss the idea of you because unlearning 10 years of trauma doesn't happen overnight or in a week or even years. The scars that you left behind are rooted so deep + sat for so long i don't think I’ll ever stop thinking about you & what we went through. You can't justify your actions for survival because you weren't doing it for me, you were doing it for you and were always in it for you. I fought for me and i fought to save my soul so that maybe one day i would be able to love again and feel whole, without you.. You could never understand nor will i ever expect you too because i survived and i always will. I’m so sorry we both knew you weren’t down for forever and it’s fine.