#foreveraromantic

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I'm Sensitive

“I’m sensitive” I’ve always said Casually and playfully As the reality ran deep. People drain me Emotions consume me I need isolation to think. I distance myself from everything I block myself off To an outsider I may appear cold But if you touch me I’d be burning hot. I care with my whole heart I love with my whole soul I’ve always been everyone’s go to Trying to get from myself little do they know. I struggle sometimes With being the right amount of “open” Too much and it’s debilitating Too little and I’m without any emotion. Sometimes I get random bursts of energy Sometimes I laugh until I cry Sometimes I’m overcome with loneliness Sometimes it’s hard to pin point why. I’m different, I can feel it Growing up I wanted to be like everyone else but really being normal is just perspective What’s to say they don’t feel off themselves? Who the hell am I? A natural born healer that’s who Some days I do feel burdened But some days I feel pretty blessed too. Life put a lot on my shoulders The weight feels equal to the world I’m like this big city dreamer Inside the heart of a small town girl.

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My Inner Fight

I look around and see everything is all neat & in it’s place I look within and I see that’s not exactly the case. I’m here, then I’m there, I’m up, then I’m down. I could feel on top of the world and the next second come crashing to the ground. I feel too much, sometimes I wish I didn’t. I need a filter for my mind, to block out everything that’s doesnt need to be in it. I’ve got a strong thought process, I know how to push the negativity away There’s just some part of me that whispers no, let it stay. Deal with your demons, don’t lock them away. You know that if you do they’ll just come back another day. This battle has gone on for longer than I can remember. I’ve always had a tough time really pulling it together. You probably wouldn’t expect it though like I said I’m outwardly precise, But if you look deep enough into my eyes you could practically watch my inner fight.

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This man was not ordinary..

He questioned what was normal, challenged typical thoughts, Created alternate realities He lived outside the box. His heart it was pure, Willing to give more than receive His spirit, so refreshing Forever young, wild & free. His passions they were obvious He wore them on his sleeve This man was not ordinary He was crafted exceptionally. There would never be another soul With depth quite like his This man he was magic He embellished his own demons. He was as strong as they came But equally in touch with who he was He was so unapologetically himself So abundant in selfless love. He was a gift no doubt, A good man you could trust I could never get tired of him, Forever would never be long enough. This man was not ordinary, His mind was his sword Sharp & quick whitted, He could pierce your heart with any carefully crafted word. He was a force of nature, A fire that could never be tamed He’d be forever ignited inside of me, Cosmically speaking he was my twin flame.

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Rediscovering Me

And one day she woke up and realized something felt different

she felt different.

She laughed more.

A lot more.

And she noticed the little things again.

The birds outside her window in the morning didn’t make her wanna hide under the covers and wonder what conflict the day would bring.

The way the tree branches & leaves moved in the wind when it blew had suddenly been something she paid attention to on the walks she finally took the time to take.

Pleasure walks.

Not walks because she was trying to escape what was at home, or trying to clear her head and make sense of things that would just never make sense.

Walks that happened because she just wanted to feel fresh air on her face and move around in a body she was beginning to feel better about.

Life was fuller now.

Crazy though that somehow the biggest emptiness she ever felt had made way for that kind of fulfillment.

It’s funny how life works.

King of laughing at your plans and giving you everything you never knew you wanted.

or needed.

She spent so much time making sure everyone else had what they needed that she stopped listening to her own desires.

Those signs that she blatantly ignored every single day, they became the center of her memories when she looked back.

She would make changes of course, but she would never change.

Putting others ahead of herself had genuinely made her happy.

That is, after making sure that the right people were at the receiving end.

Good people. Selfless & kind hearted people.

The kind of souls that didn’t drain your energy, but omit positivity.

She knew one day that she would kind of settle back into old habits, and not that structure & routine was a bad thing, but she needed something to keep her alive.

And not just alive, but living.

Someone to match her playfully untamed spirit, but still feel like a safe haven.

Someone who could take her inappropriately unfiltered mouth with just a grain of salt because even though her words were blunt, they were not malicious.

And not just take it, but match it.

Someone who could make her feel like it was okay to be both the smart ass quick witted girl and the deeply passionate & sensitive woman that collectively made her who she was.

She was always trying to separate the two.

Digging deep & wondering which one she was suppose to be.

That was silly.

She was not one without the other, it just took her a while to accept that.

It’s true what they say, that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

So far anyway.

I’m stronger than ever because at one point I was weaker than ever.

But here I am.

I am she.

And though damaged, she has never really been broken.

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The Love Of A Lifetime

I tossed and turned in the middle of the night Looking over to see your peaceful face directly to my right I marveled at how in love with you I am How the hell did I get so lucky to find this man? I don’t think I could of hand picked him better if I tried The integrity he posses still blows my mind. I took my hands and placed them on either side of his face So that even while he was sleeping He still felt my embrace Of energy, of love, of complete security Even while he’s dreaming His brilliance captivates me. I stopped believing in soul mates I figured, there’s just endless amounts of people to love Maybe in different ways, But ultimately just settling for enough. And then there you were, Your soul reaching out for mine I felt the pull As our destiny’s intertwined. Most people may look at us and say That kind of thing isn’t real But honestly they’re right Because this is a reality only you & I can feel. We are bound by spirit, We are linked through the mind We are empathically connected A chance given once in a life time. It took me a few weeks to meet you 3 days to call you mine Call me crazy But I call this the love of a lifetime

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boys are such buttholes. They never know when to stop a joke. -_____-