#forevver alone

[crilicinks]

I got sick today so I’ve basically been stuck in bed all day. In which then I proceeded to draw to distract myself.  I did not intend to end up drawing this today.....but alright.. (I was listen to Mad World and then this happens..

[psychotic-for-fandoms]

HAPPY EMPTY QUADRANTS AWARENESS DAY!!!!!!

[snowythewhitewolf1-blog]

........[forever alone: stealing]

forever alone me tried to steal my friend kat just a few minuites ago when i was at techs house becuz im forever alone and like JDFHJBGKJB so.......................man im the forever alone one of my friends....they all have atleast 1 quadrant, all have atleast a moirail though one of them has a matesprit, and im just here trying to get a quadrant like ;-;

also my face still kinda hurts from kat accidentlly hitting me straight on the nose...........

[kokedera]

okay so im bein serious here. ray. theres something ivve been meaning to tell you for a wwhile noww. i havve been considering confessin for so long but evvery time i just swwept that idea under the rug like it didnt matter. not anymore. i am declaring my undyin flushed attraction to you, ray. i knoww it sounds ridiculous but just please try lookin wwithin yourself for those feelins. really. wwe belong together. evven though im probably not good enough for a quadrant wwith someone like you.

sorry eridan but i’m not interested in dating someone who’s only

half the man he used to be

now shoo, don’t you have some angels to slaughter or something

[nottapotato]

"Oh stop, you're embarrassing me!" I say to my nonexistent matesprit, giggling madly.

[aquarianprinceofhope-blog]

i kinda... wwant to be in a relationship... evveryone i knoww is in one...

[cyphercat]

i keep trying to just post "wweh wweh forevver alone" here instead of anything serious but I guess self-mockery isn't actually a good way of dealing with feelings

i am so fucking lonely right now. it comes and goes; i'm honestly much better off than i expected to be when i first started living alone. but ugh. i'm STILL heartbroken over my last relationship, i'm phenomenally bad at trying to make or accept romantic overtures, and some days it just hits me how little i get touched anymore and then I kind of despair a little.

and i'd already pretty clearly internalized how much i was "too high maintenance" even before the dysphoria/post-trauma combo got me to the point where i can't handle partnered sex; now when this cycle kicks up my brain uses that as One More Thing Nobody Would Put Up With For You. (Yes, I do know there are romantic asexual folks for whom "I'd like to be cuddly but let's not touch junk" is a feature, not a bug. Irrational Misery Voice doesn't care.)

I feel like I'm so stuck. I have too many terms and conditions. I'm too prickly and too broken and take too much careful handling. And I can't imagine why it would be worth someone's time to deal with that for ME when there are billions of other people they could be interested in instead.

let's see if i can even leave this post up for any length of time before I just delete it in a fit of self-loathing.

[yoshyhardstylereloaded]

Ich will nichtmehr alleine sein.

Ich will nichmehr alleine in meinem großen Bett aufwachen. Ich will dich als erstes sehen wenn ich aufwache. Ich will dich küssen. Ich will irgendwann mit dir einfach vor einem Feuer sitzen und dich im Arm halten. Ich will mit dir Bier trinken. Ich will mir mit dir eine Kippe teilen. Doch im moment darf ich das alles alleine machen. Aber dieser Gedanke hält mich am Leben. Irgendwann bin ich nichtmehr alleine.