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My father had a gas station back in the 1950’s when the gas islands had hoses for air and water to service customer’s cars. A boy came by each day on his bike to drink water out of a hose but always left it in a mess on the ground. This irritated my father, so one day he gently told the boy, “Son, don’t drink out of that hose! That’s the water they use for the toilet!”
While a humorous anecdote, this is a great example of speaking 'The Truth' — but not the WHOLE Truth!
You see, truth is not partial - it’s WHOLE. Abraham, didn’t (exactly) 'lie' that his wife was his sister (cousins were often called sisters) but he said this to mis-lead King Abimelech and save his own skin by telling a truth that was factual - but not entirely accurate.
Likewise, when we speak we need to be forthright in how we present things to others and not mislead people by not being totally honest. Even though what we say may in fact be technically 'true', in essence when we are incomplete in not telling the whole truth, that 'partial truth' is really a misleading lie.
Jesus said, “But let your word 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and 'No' mean 'No.' For anything beyond that is of evil.” (Matthew 5:37)
So friend, when you speak, be clear! …and not speak to (“truthfully”) mislead.
God Bless Your Day Jesus Loves You NotesOnLife.org
Search on @getnotesonlife
THE CAN DO in CANDOR (this will open doors)
Candor remains of the highest value and when introduced by human beings dominates the circumstances, becomes the focus and lights the way so that all benefit and prosper from the hearing and the doing of it. It is not rare or uncommon, yet it is simple and carefree and answers to its own dynamics and principals. You practice this & what you can expect is EVERYTHING! CANDOR defined The quality…
Don't say it. It's too hard to take it back. I've seen too many loves sundered by too much needless honesty. These psychological ding-dongs that tell people to speak their minds to their mates, to vent their spleens? What do they accomplish? All they produce is a lot of lonely self-righteous minds & ventilated spleens.
- Ken Kesey
From: Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two.
My Best Mistake: Not Telling My Boss He Stank
By Charlene Li, April 23, 2013 My boss stank. And I mean, he literally smelled bad. At the start of the day, he'd be freshly showered, but by the end of the work day, a horrible body odor hung around him. I knew I wasn't the only person noticing this as other people in the office began mentioning it to me. The worst part: he was a really awesome boss and no one could bring it upon themselves to tell him.
I stressed about this for days--and then weeks had gone by. All the time, the gossip kept building. I finally got up the courage to tell him during an upcoming check-in meeting. We spent most of the meeting going over things we each needed to do, and he then asked, "So, is there anything else that we should discuss?"
The moment had finally come. I cleared my throat and said. "Yes, there is one more thing. At the end of the day, you have really bad body odor. I realized you didn't know this, or you would have done something about it." Then I sat there, absolutely mortified.
Without missing a beat, my boss said, "Well, that's good to know. I'll put on my list to pick up a really strong deodorant."
And that was it. The next day, no more body odor.
On the surface, this doesn't seem like a big mistake, only a highly embarrassing professional moment both for me and my boss. My colleagues and I stressed about it for weeks, leading to who knows how many hours of lost productivity. My big mistake wasn't telling my boss that he stank, but waiting so long to finally getting around to it.
This is a mistake that I've continued to make throughout my career--waiting far too long to deliver bad news to people. This odiferous affair taught me that people are far more resilient than we give them credit for, and that we are all so much better to be forthright with each other than to avoid hard truths.
I hope you learn from my big career mistake and take it upon yourself to tell share quickly something that you've been meaning to say. You'll be a far better friend and colleague for doing this, and I'll bet you'll kick yourself for not having brought it up sooner.
When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.
-- Horace Walpole
Miguel - "Do You..."
Sincerity frightens people, and so does affection. Forthrightness. That kind of love that is neither sweet nor saccharine, but terrifying. It’s like looking straight into someone’s death, that’s the digest version “what love is.” Looking into someone’s eyes like you’re looking into their grave.
Amy Herschleb