Today I thought my world was going to crumble and I’d lose my family. I said many times it hardly mattered since we don’t even live in the same state, I never see them, and we barely talk. All I had was my sister I kept in real contact with. Well, I came out as transgender to the parents and everything went as I thought it would – horribly. Until… it didn’t. It took a day for my mom to apologize for her behavior in the morning and for my dad to say he in no way wants to cut me out of the family or out of their lives. I was told they both love me. They just need time to adjust, which is what I had expected. I didn’t expect everything to take place so quickly over the course of the day. I had written a letter and explained to them the best that I could and in said letter, I made sure they knew they could process and take their time. Now that the day has settled – they are actively processing and taking the time they’ll need and I’m so grateful to the man that helped explain and walk them through it (as my mom had contacted a man in their church and to my surprise explained a great deal to them).
There was stress up until this point where my mom had texted me her apology in the evening. I had work and I was anxious through it all that I had asked to leave early. I was extremely sick to my stomach and already hadn’t eaten. I was waiting to be able to pick up my prescription for testosterone today as well and knew that with all this stress and anxiety there was no way I could possibly do an injection tonight like I had wanted. I thought the worst. And then, as I’m talking to my sister over Tumblr, I get the text and it feels like a complete 180 to how she had reacted in the morning. My sister said it was real, she was calm and she meant it. I cried in the car. My dad said he was hurt but loves me and just can’t talk about it with me right now because he needs to process, I cried harder. These people are heavy Christians that support Trump. My sister is the only one that thinks otherwise. A weight was lifted immediately and I have no idea what to do or how to react other than feel loved despite initial reactions and knowing that this will still be a long and bumpy road.
Today – the day I thought would have me spiraling into hidden depression… turned out to be one of the best days I’ve experiences lately. My first shot of testosterone has been taken and I will not be cut out of my family. But on top of that, I have so many chosen family and incredible friends in my life that support me and it showed in full through my rough day. Each had understanding and made me know how accepted I am by each. Today – today is the day I live.
