#fpvv

[the-british-fangirl]

And the things is... I don't know what I want...

You tell me it's about time to give you an answer And the things is, I don't know what I want You tell me it's okay That you can wait Until i am ready But the way you're acting when you're with me Is entirely a whole 'nother galaxy When we're together with your friends And i just don't know Who you really are And what you really want From me Is it companionship? Friendship? A relationship? Sweethearts? It seems that just when I have just about had it with your ways Of pushing me away And act as if i'm trash As if i'm Nothing As if i'm Not worthy to look at You pull me again saying "I love you" Or "You might just exactly be the one for me all this time" Please... I beg of you... What is it that you really want from me? Because the way you act Is completely different Please tell me You are confusing me Making my head run in circles What am I to you? But maybe the more important question is... What are you to me?

[the-british-fangirl]

“No please... No... Love, no... stop”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” he snapped then tugged his sleeve away from my hands

That’s when everything hit me. I looked at him and I didn’t know what to do... I didn’t know what to think... what to feel... I just...

CRIED. 

I cried and I didn’t know why... All I know was that tears were suddenly gushing down my face and it just wouldn’t stop. I broke eye contact from him because I couldn’t take it any longer. That’s when he realized...

I’ve had it.

I laughed bitterly and put on a smile. I didn’t want him to have the luxury of . seeing me cry any longer.

“You’re right... I- I’m sorry... Who am I t-to tell you what t-to do? To boss you around... Depriving you of stuff you like... I-I’m just-”

“Oh no.... Love... Please” he breathed a heavy sigh. Tired was written all over his face right now...

“No, you’re right... I needed that slap of awareness right now. Thank you. I’ve had enough...I’m leaving ”

With those last words his eyes opened wide. Because he knew... He knew that if there was ever a chance that I would ever say those words... It was for good... No going back...

“Shit... Fuck... Love... No, please don’t. I didn’t mean that... I was just- I got caught up in the moment, that’s all,” he said. Trying to think up of a way to get this through... To solve this.

“No I’ve had it... I’m tired. I just can’t seem to get through you anymore... Just when I’m about to get to know the real you you just push me away... Like I mean nothing to you...Like I don’t mean ANYTHING to you”, I stated. I turned away. I gotta leave... And FAST. Before I change my mind. Before he mixes me up again... I’m tired of this cycle. Of this constant push and pull... It feels like I’m getting the short end of the stick... I don’t deserve this...this toxicity.

[asian-shoujo]

SALT

I’m not worth anyone’s salt I am not worth anyone’s time No amount of words could ever convince me and tell me that everything’s gonna be alright and that you’ll always be there for me BULLSHIT

what’s suffocating me right now are these tears dead at night as I wail and sob and sigh to the moon I cry looking at the stars telling them about how lonely I am There scars on my arms and bruises on my skin could never compare to the scars of broken friendship as my best friend refuses to talk to me anymore or the bruises of how my family makes me feel so fucking useless or how I’m never going to be anyone’s precious salt. Sometimes I wish how I wish I never existed in this God forsaken world because because who am I to people but a worthless piece of shit? Who am I? but a person who is needy as I say lines like No please stay Sorry I’m the one at fault Please don’t leave me I’m the one that’s stupid Please love me for who I am I’m the one that was wrong all along I’m sorry I’m sorry I ’ m    s o r r y I’m not worth anyone’s salt

[asian-shoujo]

[asian-shoujo]

[asian-shoujo]

[asian-shoujo]

[asian-shoujo]