Where to begin? A summation of all he is, is difficult. I’ve tried before from time to time, to communicate his value, his worth, but have always fallen short. The truth is, I will always fall short. To sum up a person’s character, their existence, in a few words or even many, is just not possible. It denies the fact that so much of human interaction is based on how someone makes you feel, how your soul interacts with theirs. It’s that vibe that tells you whether or not you’ll get along with someone, whether or not they will be part of your life forever or only a short while. It determines whether or not someone is to be trusted. Whether or not they get a piece of your heart.
I’m the kind of person who gets lost in my own head sometimes. I think it’s a symptom of passion. So much of my life, specifically my choices, are based on how they make my heart feel. And my heart feels a lot. So much so, that it can be hard to rein in, hard to stifle. It is a force to be reckoned with. My heart has the capacity to love and to love fiercely. To describe that love is impossible but it’s the kind I feel for you.
In many ways you and I are very different. We have clashing views about the world. About what is it we were put here to do and how it is we are going to do it. You are the rational to my daydream. The voice of reason summoning me back to earth before I’m ready to come. We can disagree vehemently and are equally stubborn in our opposing points of view. Yet, here we are. If you love someone, and I mean truly love someone, these things matter very little. It’s easy to argue, it’s hard to love the person anyway.
Someone once asked me if our relationship was like trying to stick a square peg in a round hole. It implied that we were two people that were never meant to fit together. What’s true is that it’s difficult. But what’s also true, is that difficult things are frequently the most worth doing. The ability to set aside one's differences in the name of caring for someone else, means seeing things from a different point of view. Empathizing with a person's thoughts and feelings even if you do not share them. A skill I think, the world could benefit from learning.
In the coming months I am going to begin building a blanket chest. It is going to consist mostly of mortise and tenon joinery but will also feature pegs for added stability. It’s true that round pegs fit well in round holes but it is also true that wood movement changes joints over time. A perfect fit initially does not necessarily guarantee a lasting result. Instead, I am going to pound a square peg into a round hole at the site of the joint. There is some risk involved, these pegs have a tendency to break and splinter under the exerted force and sometimes fail to follow the correct trajectory. The thing is, that despite their fragility and proclivity for failure, when done correctly these joints are very, very strong and nearly impossible to separate.
I used to think being compared to a peg was less than flattering but maybe, that is exactly what we are.
