Sep 22, 2020
Carol: I have a science headcanon.
Torque: Can't you just say "hypothesis" like a normal person?
Carol:
Carol: So my science headcanon is—
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Carol: I have a science headcanon.
Torque: Can't you just say "hypothesis" like a normal person?
Carol:
Carol: So my science headcanon is—
Carol: If I cut my foot off and threw it at you, would I be kicking you or hitting you?
Torque: You’d mentally scar me more than anything.
Carol: So here's the tea—
Torque: For the last time, it's called a "briefing."
Carol: Do you want the tea or not?
Carol: So, it’s raining, right? You pass a bus stop. There are three people there. Your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant woman who needs to go to the hospital, and the girl of your dreams. Your smart car only has two seats. What do you do?
Torque: Oh! I’ve heard this one! I give the car to my friend and he takes the pregnant woman to the hospital, while I stay at the bus stop with the girl of my dreams.
Carol: No.
Carol: You go home and RE-EVALUATE YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Carol: YOU BOUGHT
Carol: A SMART CAR
Carol: Hey, do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows into my mouth?
Torque: You're a menace to society.
Lilac: And a coward. Do 20.
Lilac: Where are you going?
Carol: To get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide on the way.
Carol: I'm trying to open a cat cafe, but I need investors.
Carol: The first floor will have normal cats, but then as you go up, each floor has more and more dangerous cats.
Carol: At the top is just me with a machete.
Lilac: Did you eat all of the powdered donuts?
Carol, mouth full: No...
Lilac: Then what's that on your pants?
Carol: That's cocaine