Free-styling
I picked up some BOMB free-styling lessons this morning! It was less about what to do or say when you freestyle and more about how to maneuver/behave. It was so insightful. Here’s what I learned…
First, this goes without saying but its super important. When you go out to a hotel bar, you have to feel comfortable and confident enough to ask men for money. Some of them will shame you about asking for money even AFTER they’ve asked you for sex. Be comfortable enough to ask for what you want.
Do not give every man at the bar your attention. If someone doesn’t come correct or doesn’t look like they’re worthy of your attention, politely brush them off. Because other men at the bar will be paying attention to who you are giving your attention to. If you’re getting lots of attention from guys, don’t give all them your attention - only a very select few. This will raise your worth and eventually someone will step to you correct.
Do not solicit to men who talk too loudly.
Hit up hotels that are known for hosting business conferences! Come dressed to blend in.
If you want to freestyle while you’re on a date with another man, you have to be super discreet and smart about it. The sex worker I was listening to this morning said that when she goes out to a restaurant with a guy, she’s very physically affectionate with him if there are other guys around. Other men that have already noticed you will be jealous and wishful for your attention. So, here’s how I would personally approach this situation: if you spot a guy that clearly wants you, look for opportunities to slip him your number. For instance, once your date goes to the restroom, approach the bartender with a CASH tip and your business card and ask them to slip your info to the guy at the bar that’s been staring at you the entire night. I mean, the guy should look like he can afford you. Don’t just give your number to anyone.
All these tips I picked up got me so amped to try them out, get out of my shell, and take another crack at free-styling! But I also learned that free-styling isn’t suitable for everyone. I’m not talking about the mental/emotional skills needed to free-style, but the fact that these environments are easier to blend to into for some more than others.
Women of color have to be particularly careful because the world typically thinks the worst of us. Additionally, the more l conventionally attractive you are, the easier it is to blend in and not garner the wrong kind of attention.