#friendly-static

[midnight-broadcast]

tomorrow is canceled not for any explainable reason it just is

canceled tomorrow is canceled

if you happen to experience tomorrow please forget about it and pretend that it never happened

if someone asks you what day it is merely stare off with an expression between dread and confusion

until they eventually leave

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

please enjoy the following

a series of words with no hidden message

filter unfair confuse knife

impound consensus exchange

thank you for your consideration of these words with no hidden meaning

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

today has been a very productive day

the kind of day where you believe you could do almost anything

but anything is not quantifiable by any measure of production and should not be used to associate with your productive day

don't be silly, listeners anything is not a real measurement

a real measurement would be something like kelvin or maybe even just a barleycorn

those are real measurements

welcome to the broadcast, listeners

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

the station has decided not to participate in the day of fools today

after a rather concerning incident involving sentient grease in the break room

that resulted in the disappearance and presumed consumption of two interns

and a vacation request made by yours truly

you will not find any fools here today

not after last year and those silly tricks

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

station management has decided that our broadcast can no longer speak in haikus

if you happen to discover one in a post please let us all know

we would not like to break our broadcast's efficient and important rules

please report all haikus to the station

if you happen to discover one

thank you for your understanding

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

the science says the fog isn't real and if it is it certainly isn't following you

we're not supposed to argue with the science

there are very good scientists here

they seem to know what they are doing

so we trust them

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

please do not tap the glass again

it will not break and it will not shatter but it does wobble and that scares us

isn't it freaky how glass can wobble like that?

it doesn't even seem to mean to do it

it just does it and everyone witnesses it doing that strange thing

please don't tap the glass we'd really appreciate it

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

there was a man in a tan jacket outside the station tonight

he was looking for you asked for you by your name he said it quietly, like a secret

he wanted to give you a message:

"have you eaten today?"

♥ intern jamie