Return of the King Predictions
Hello friends. As some of you know, I have been watching the Lord of the Rings movies for the first time, and have made a couple funny lil posts as a result. Sad news for people who don’t know--LORD OF THE RINGS IS NO LONGER ON HULU.
Very offensive to me. So since I CAN’T watch the third movie, i thought i would make some predictions based off what i’ve seen so far, and what i have determined from pop culture through osmosis.
“She” turns out to be a really super hot lady friend of gollum/smeagol who he wants the hobbits to help him woo
pippin goes Vegan
eowyn actually holds a sword and uses it in a way that matters
gandalf becomes a SLIGHTLY less shitty wizard, potentially loses his beard as a result
the elves kiss aragorn
all of them
except for legolas
legolas kisses gimli, duh
i don’t know much but i KNOW that the dwarf and orlando bloom are super gay with each other
uhhhhhhh volcano explosion?
omg i know motorcycles don’t exist in middle earth but you guys know that like old trick where people do tricks over a tank of sharks? like a flip? on a motorcycle, like Living Like Larry style? Imagine that but over mount doom as it’s active and Frodo does like a SICK flip and the ring falls out of his pocket and into the volcano and it EXPLODES and the next shot is like frodo w sunglasses on (no helmet, this is a movie and also a fantasy world shhh) w the explosion behind him and sam is like doing a fist pump in the bg and smeagol and his gf makeout anyway peter jackson mind if i take over this reboot i think i would do so good
