#frogs everywhere

[faultyjam]

The harvest of Froglings is bountiful tonight

[awed-frog]

If you need a reason to smile today, the Turkish word for ‘turtle’ literally means ‘covered frog’.

[delicatefury]

Five frogs tonight

Five frogs. No aliens.

[1abbie7]

my pond brings all the boys to my yard

and they're like

ribbit ribbit ribbit

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

Last one... Baskin

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. This film is a Turkish horror, and the full thing is actually on YouTube also, with subtitles! Opening shot is a shelf of childrens toys and the first one we see has a skull face, but a really ripped body. Like Skeletor on hormones. Not sure if plot related but a bit of a weird toy to have Little dude is woken up by the sounds of a woman off camera having/faking an orgasm. Well I mean obviously the actress isn't having one but in the context of the plot maybe it's faked too... Little dude goes to investigate but stops short of opening mum/sister/guardians door. Wise choice little dude, wise choice Also there's only a female voice to be heard, and no bed squeaking or anything, maybe it's a solo performance? And in that case less likely to be faked for the purpose of a male ego There's now a TV playing only static...stay away little dude, I've seen Poltergeist - static on TVs is bad news!! If there's one thing going digital has saved the world from it's ghosts in the static - they're not here no more Carol-Anne TV turns off ok, but Little dude starts hyperventilating anyway and there's a hand trying to get him from the front door. He tries to wake his mum but his bedroom door shuts and the title comes up instead A guy with a bucket is about to go into a restuarant but sees theres 4 policemen in their and takes the bucket round the back instead. Turns out there was meat in it - maybe customer service to not see the delivery, or is that meat from a suspicious source?? The policemen are deciding what football bets to put on, showing that Turkish police obviously arent paid enough either, and also that everyone thinks Messi will score Yavuz says he's gonna fuck one of the others (Seyfi) like a chicken, prompting the chief to say he probably has fucked a chicken, not the best insult to use really Apparently the chief has friends that have had sex with chickens before, but apparently its not about fucking the chicken, it's about catching it... The chiefs first time was with an elephant in the army apparently, while the newbie got took to a brothel in high school... Very strange Yavuz tells a typical transphobic tale about a prostitute that turned out to have male genetalia - but while they laugh he's just turned on the waiter Its Joe Pesci in Goodfellas with subtitles now Seyfi goes to the bathroom to be sick and finds a frog in the soap dish. Because reasons. It looks like there's a shape behind him in the mirror when he bends over, when he straightens up he doesnt see it but does start screaming at the mirror A while later the others have calmed him down but it doesn't say if he saw something or not? Now the others are letting him drive the van because he says he's fine but I wouldn't be trusting him Now they're all singing and clapping to a song on the radio, Turkish pop songs are just as cheesy as English language ones. A call comes from dispatch that they have to go and provide backup for another unit, but Seyfi says he's heard of the place and there's bad stories. Ominous. Now they're on a deserted lane and a naked man runs out in front, but when they get out something hits the other side of the van. Something no-one sees but rocks the van much harder than just one person on their own would've Now there's hundreds of frogs on the ground, Yavuz asks if they all jumped up and hit the van together and well... why not? While they're debating if there was really a naked man in the road, they drive into another figure, one that looks not human and very hairy... Now they're in a cafe, or maybe it's the same restuarant as earlier... Newbie is telling the chief about a dream he had when his friend died - its the opening sequence. He's had the dream this morning too, not a good omen for him Apparently the boss is his guardian? or uncle? or both? The others were watching TV, but the boss asks is anyone here and the two are now alone... No, not alone. You can see now it is the same restuarant as earlier, and theres a shape in the kitchen. The boss says this is the first time someone else can see it, and suddenly there's blood on the ceiling and blood running over the table Now he's in water, did the van really crash and his brain's telling him to wake up before he drowns? Yeah, he's getting pulled out of the water now - called it!! There's some homeless looking people sitting around a fire, and a girl has a bucket of frogs. More frogs. Girl taps the bucket as they're leaving and says something suitably ominous, but its not subtitled :( They're led to the place they were meant to be going at least, which is apparently an abandoned police station, though they won't be much good for backup after being in an accident Boss says to newbie that he has the key to all this - very strange words Original police unit they're meant to be backing up is nowhere to be found and the radio doesn't work in their car either. Typical. "How does our national anthem start?"   "Fear not..." "Exactly, now let's go!" Inside seems empty too, but they do find some eggs filled with blood. Not chicken eggs, but smaller. Probably fucking frogs again They find a member of the original unit who's slowly and methodically banging his head into a wall He's not talking but he points to where his unit is - down a creepy stairwell obviously Yavuz says he's not going downstairs cause its too dark, but changes his mind when he's left alone while Seyfi takes the headbanger outside Seyfi leaves headbanger to follow a frog, and instead finds a bloodsoaked orgy with people using what looks like binbags for gimpmasks ((PS I am not going to kinkshame anyone, but if you wanna use a binbag as a gimpmask, be safe and cut airholes first)) It's unsure what they do to Seyfi when they pull him down but he's screaming, and headbanger is alone in the dark crying... The others have found an empty sex dungeon, and while I approve of the chains and candles, there's a bit too much blood on the walls. And this mask looks like its made of actual animal skin There's a figure on the wall of a woman, in a very froggish shape. If you have frog-phobia do not watch this film. ((Also, is there a horror film about killer frogs?? Like, protagonists walking carefully through millions of frogs, like an amphibian The Birds?)) Now there's two bodies in the next room, wrapped in plastic and hung up with a bucket for the blood. Someone else in a cage but unsure if alive or dead yet... Newbie's followed a trail of blood and finds another room with many, many more bodies, some with bags on their heads and missing limbs so possibly alive, and someone cutting them up Chief (not the one they call boss, another one) goes near to the cage and suddenly someones behind him with a big mallet and kills him Boss starts shouting, Butcher woman notices newbie and starts screaming, one legged man with a bag on his head starts screaming, newbie fires his gun randomly and they all are chased Yavuz gets caught, newbie's still running and somehow ends up back in his own house? From the start? Suddenly him and Boss are back in the restaurant, must be like his mind palace or his brains "safe space" Boss says there was no call for backup, but that they were summoned by someone/thing Newbie wakes up and they're all tied to pillars, while the cult members are praying, or having some sort of orgy High priest walks in with a full robe and hood and ignores Yavuz who's shouting at him, as if he's in a position to make threats Servant brings the priest a bowl to wash his hands in, but the bowls far too small for his hands and he can barely clean past the second knuckle Priest says hell is not a place you go, but you carry it with you at all times inside you. Not really selling your religion here pal, most people wanna escape hell not be told its inside them! Preist then puts his hand in a cut in Cheifs stomach and moves it sideways, somehow opening it up and pulling out his intestine at the same time - like Temple of Doom but a foot lower and more blood Animal bones are thrown and now it's Yavuz's turn. Not sure if the priest is gonna kill him or try to recruit him? His eyes are cut out, but eventually he's given a cloth type mask and told to "open the eyes of his heart" Seems he's being recruited Servant leads in a semi-naked woman, crawling in shackles and wearing a goatshead mask. Yavuz is put behind her and is being forced to have sex with her to open his heart He fails, maybe he's still resentful to the man who just made him blind? Or maybe it's just cause she's not trans, or even a chicken?? She crawls away and Yavuz dies...and a spider crawls out his mouth?? WTF? Boss shouts the priest to him next, and the priest thanks him for looking after the newbie, and slits his throat. Sorry boss, you're not being recruited. Priests splashing boss's blood over him and rubbing it into his bald head. Servant brings goatshead woman a large tub to stand in, she holds onto a pillar and pops out a baby. Simple as that Baby clonks out onto the metal tub and priest takes it upstairs. Maybe alive or maybe not? Definitely brain dead after that clunk Newbie is back in the restuarant again, seemingly alone, but stands up and sees the Boss bleeding out beside the table Boss says he has only one key in this life and now its the newbies....then the newbie pulls an actual key out his slit throat??? Priest is there and he has a keyhole tattoo in his forehead, newbie jams the key into it and suddenly their back in the dungeon, there's a key sticking out of the priests head and newbie is free from his chains? Newbie uses the priests stool to smash the priests head in several times, which may seem like overkill, but in a horror movie you make sure they're really dead first He's spreading the priests blood over himself the way the priest did with the boss's blood, unsure if he's gonna be the new priest or just suffering a psychotic break Now he's running up the road laughing - yeah deffos mental He just got knocked down by a police van. The one he was in earlier. Has he went back in time?? Whaaaa???

[bluelivesaintshit]

I'm sick of this rain! My yard looks like a biblical plague!

[pixeldigest]

Note: Treasure Hunter G

Treasure Hunter G is a really neat strategy RPG for the Super Famicom. Published by SquareSoft, the game was developed by Sting, who would go on to make titles such as Riviera: The Promised Land, Yggdra Union: We'll Never Fight Alone, and many more.

The story is standard RPG fare. It follows the brother's Red and Blue, as they go on an adventure to find their missing father (a self-proclaimed adventurer himself). During their travels, they discover the revival of Dark King, who was previously sealed away, and must put a stop to his spread of, you guessed it, darkness.

While Sting are mostly known for their overbearing UI's, Treasure Hunter G was an earlier title, and thankfully, very humble with it's battle system. It's focused around your ACT points, where attacking and movement all cost a certion amount. The cost of movement, for example, grows as you move closer and closer to an enemy. From there, it's standard turn-based fare, with characters gaining experience when they perform attacks and defeating enemies.

The object graphics are crafted with pre-rendered 3D, while the backgrounds use more traditional pixel art. The soundtrack is composed mostly by Hitoshi Sakimoto and Masaharu Iwata, both of Tactic's series fame, but also includes some other less known composers. Demi-Human Battle and Yearning For Love are some of my favourite tracks, but the OST as a whole is worth a listen.

Overall, Treasure Hunter G is a complete package that I would highly recommend if you're interested in strategy RPG's or obscure titles from the Super Famicom library.

[professorwithoutacause]

Poor life choice:

Edward Gorey puzzle.