No le temo a la muerte; le temo a una existencia sin vida.
- carapherneliaxx

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No le temo a la muerte; le temo a una existencia sin vida.
- carapherneliaxx
It's only noon and I'm done with today. Just fucking done. I want to scream and cry and just lay down and quit. And I get to do this all over again tomorrow. Can the universe just work with me for once? That's all I want.
I know I love my child, but I am also an artist. I’m struggling to find a balance with my 3-year-old old who is way more attached to me than my two older ones. I know my daughter adores me, she mimics everything I do whether it's consciously or subconsciously. I like it I love it. However, when I want to get focused and get down to my practice and my child scribbles all over my sketches it is detrimental to my art skills and my mental health. Nothing that I do Is a masterpiece that's not my end goal or my intention, my goal is to sharpen and finesse my skills. I feel that every little stupid sketch brings me closer to my goal. It's just sometimes I wish that I wasn't so immersed in wanting to create and draw all the time. Maybe I wouldn't be so bothered that my children always grab my stuff or ruin my sketches…its valuable to me it's the only thing that I have for myself there's nothing wrong with being selfish in that way. (On a side note no that's not if sketch of my daughter)
This is a stupid thing to be upset about, but here I go.
Before school one morning over a year ago, the kids and I were outside and we found almost a whole raccoon skeleton. I put it in a box and was planning on making a shadowbox case for it.
Well, a few weeks ago, one of my employees decided to clean my office without my knowledge and tossed them.
I just now realized she threw them away.
And now I'm mad again (I was very mad when she went and cleaned it in the first place).
It's not like it was something I spent money on or whatever. But the issue is she didn't even ask before she threw it all out, she just assumed.
And now I just want to scream.
Prose escapes, it slips from your fingers like a receding tide and your left with nothing in your grasp but a few dirty words about love, pain and the sea.
812 pm thurs August 22
What a weird few days. I was really good until yesterday, and I missed the last dose day which might have something to do with it. I’m feeling ridiculously paranoid, I just feel like somethings off with jesse, and my brains like lmao he’s CHEATING but where’s the proof? I have absolutely no reason, no evidence. I know he’s constantly working his ass off taking care of the kids and himself and everything and I just miss him.
It’s like, I know he’s tired, and all that Jazz, but it just kind of feels like loving me is a chore right now. But ya know, it could be that I’m just having problems myself and projecting. I’m working on it. I’m trying to separate myself a little and let go more. I’m trying to actively not get angry because it just hurts.
Yesderday was really hard, I was so angry and frustrated for no reason all day and I just, like, was aware of it. I did my best to not feed into it and I think I did okay. Today was a little better! Easier for sure. But obviously still having some paranoia and depression stuff because I’m having a hard time communicating with Jesse. I think I need to sleep on it, or like find a way to give myself a break from stressing. Just take a week and don’t notice his behavior, take a mental vacation. Not just him, everyone. Just do you, and track your own stuff. Don’t worry about the future just focuse on what’s going on right now. I don’t even know, but I’m gonna try. I think if I keep trying to ground myself, and talk to myself logically it’ll get easier and make more sense. I just need to breath and sleep and worry less lmao. I’m trying so hard.
I think today the crankiness came because I’m sore and my finger hurts, I think it’s just made me kinda grumpy and maybe I’m just carrying that into the evening. Im going to take more ibuprofen and put some more cbd cream on and smoke and sleep early. Tomorrow will be better, I’m going to make sure!
I hate how they trash on Momo in the latest chapter
Haters gonna hate. As always they are never be the one who will say good thing in those they doesn't like. They could win bit the aithor said " No. Let class B win this time" doesn't mean Momo is not a good leader and good character. I STILL DON'T GET WHAT HAGAKURE IS DOING?!!! AND AOYAMA.