Darkness at the Heart of my Love || Cassius & Richard
PARTIES: Cassius and Richard
TIMING: Flashback: Late 1800s
SUMMARY: Upon losing the last living member of his family, Cassius remembers the first time he met his sire, Richard.
WARNINGS: Parental death, parental illness
The wound was still fresh, knowing that the last of his family was well and truly gone. His mother had contracted a fever, one that she couldn’t shake. And that’s how he found himself on that Monday night, what should have been mundane as the rest, in the apartment he shared with his sire, remembering.
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His father had died when he was still alive. He had gotten sick. He remembered the doctor that had attended to him. Impossibly handsome, thoughts he knew were a sin to have. He felt things for men like he was supposed to for women alone. His thoughts were impure, and he knew he must seek confession. There was something about the doctor’s gaze: the man would look at him when no one else was paying attention. It was a hot July day when he finally spoke to him without the formalities of a doctor. He was outside the house, lounging beneath the willow tree to the side of the house, reading from his poetry book that he had read so many times. The edges of the book’s cover were frayed, and the pages were beginning to lose hold of the binding.
A throat cleared, and Cassius looked up from his book. The doctor's impossibly blue eyes and dark hair just met his shoulders. Everything in Cassius tensed up at once. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way. He kept his emotions in check. Instead of looking nervous and flustered, the young man was calm and collected. “Dr. Kobiec,” Cassius spoke, blinking once. “How can I help you?” He closed the book he held, attention now fixed on the man in front of him.
“Please, just call me Richard.” The older man spoke with a soft smile as he spoke. Cassius felt his face heat. The man’s voice was deep and smooth. It reminded him of the smell of leather. “I know it’s unprofessional, but…” the doctor trailed off. That confidence and professional way he held himself was lost, replaced with a nervous fidget of his hands, his eyes darting from Cassius’s face to the ground. He found it almost cute. “I wanted to get to know you better.” The doctor finally said, nodding once as he found the younger blonde’s gaze.
“Well, Richard,” the blonde spoke before standing, the book held under one arm as he stuck out his hand for the older man to shake. “I’m Cassius. I’m twenty-eight and have been visiting with my family since my father got sick.” He began after he had shaken Richard’s hand. “I am a history scholar and teacher. I specialize in medieval England.” He tilted his head to one side, taking in the doctor’s features. The older man was hanging onto his every word, eyes excited and interested.
Richard’s smile was infectious. Cassius felt a smile grow across his face as soon as the doctor smiled. “Do you live close by?” Richard asked. They were in a small house on the outskirts of London, Cassius’s family home.
Cassius nodded his head. “I live in central London.” Cassius began to explain. “I live in a flat with other people. It’s not much, but” he shrugged his shoulders as if that should answer all the questions that could be had.
It was strange; he’d never had someone hang onto his every word as Dr. Kobiec seemed to be doing. Cassius thought momentarily, wondering what was so interesting about himself that had captured the handsome doctor’s attention.
“I also live in central London,” Richard responded with an easy smile. “If you’re ever looking just to have one roommate, I have a spare room.” The doctor spoke, a smirk forming on his lips ever so slightly.
Cassius felt his heart skip a beat, his eyes widening in shock. Of course, he was always looking to live somewhere else. His roommates were many men constantly going out on the town night after night, looking to pick up women. And while he didn’t deny himself life’s pleasures of a woman’s touch, he also didn’t actively seek it out. He let opportunity find him. It was Cassius’s turn to clear his throat, his face covered in a blush he desperately wished would disappear. It was strange how easy it was to talk to the older man, as if they were long-time friends, instead of just a doctor tasked with visiting his father as he lay on his deathbed.
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Cassius shook his head, shaking the memory from his head, finding himself sitting in that apartment that Richard had once spoken of those years ago, now losing his mother—the last of his family. The sadness he felt at knowing that he was the last one and had outlived all his family tore him apart. But he couldn’t find it in himself to cry, so he sat on the couch in the living room, staring out the window at the night scene of London. So many people were living and doing business without a care in the world that things beyond their imagination lurked in the shadows. That he was one of those things.
Suddenly, Cassius felt the weight of someone sitting beside him, and it took all the focus and concentration that he had to turn and look at Richard. He usually would smile to greet the man. Instead, he just stared with a faraway expression. Instead of speaking, the older vampire simply touched Cassius’s hand and nodded. He understood the pain of leaving the past behind. That there would be no choice but to outlive all those that they loved.
That’s how they spent the night when Cassius discovered his mother had died. Hand in hand, staring out the window. They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t speak at all. Richard slowly rose to his feet to shut the curtains as the sun rose up, still not daring to speak. Darkness came with being what they were, cursed to the night, never to see the sun. To outlive all that one holds dearly. Richard understood it profoundly and felt a deep pain at knowing that he had cursed the one he loved most to live that same pain instead of being able to let him go.
Still, they were here. They were in a space that they had carved out that they called their own. Once the curtains had been shut, Richard held out his hand to Cassius to take. Cassius, still vacant of expression, slowly raised his hand to take Richard’s, blue eyes meeting blue. They understood one another in that moment, where they had felt they had no one. They had each other.
Always.
