#fucking goddamnit

[victusinveritas]

Hi Folks,

Some commentary from the smarter people I know on shit going down (I'd add my own commentary, but it would just be a stream of expletives).

[heretherebedork]

Normally, I love this kind of callback to simple kindness being the start of a romance. I love the idea that a tiny moment can create big feelings and sometimes all it takes is a single smile to make a difference to someone's heart so deeply it literally changed them.

But in this... it doesn't work because a simple act of kindness should beget more kindness not stalking, pressure and an inability to accept the word no.

Godfuckingdamnit this show reminds me of FUTS. That's it! That's why I hate it! It's fucking Korean FUTS. I hate it here.

[kruber-meister-k]

NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

(cries in English Major)

[moss--knight]

i lost a folder with all of my september-december pencil drawings i did for courses & we are finishing the last drawing today which i have also lost :))))))

the review is held dec 30. i will go apeshit if i wont find that folder

[rabbit-exe]

I’d like to say a big thank you to Tiger the cat who waited until the precise moment that I picked up my full glass of lemonade to kick me right in the armpit, causing me to jerk violently and spill lemonade fucking everywhere

[bluheaven-adw]

[kyaramaya]

holy shit. maybe I've realized/found my life's purpose-- to spite.

I'm not having a good time, but Spotify brought up music I grew up with, and the memories that were brought up included a lot of people I don't talk to today--

...

And yes I hate it, yes it hurts, yes I feel small.....

...

But I'm the strongest, the most able, the most effective-- out of everyone in these memories, I AM THE MOST STRONG.

maybe it doesn't matter anymore, they forgot... But to me, it does. I need to prove myself (unfortunately) and I need to be the best at everything to the point where I cannot be ignored.

I hurt, I cry, I agonize, I martyr myself-- but it only satisfies me.

Now I think, maybe, I need to destroy the expectations that I would fail-- I would've loved to roll over and die, but now knowing that it is expected of me....... I need to wipe the floor with everyone who fucking doubted me.

You hurt me (I believed I couldn't be anything-- I wasn't even the targeted person.... What a fucking shame) and I will mop the floor with you and everything you loved that was valued over me.

I hate myself but I hate you being happy more. I hate that I still love you, that I still want to talk to you-- I hate everything you taught me. Because I hurt and you get to claim the distance of blood, despite raising me, that I am not your problem.

I will live, I will thrive, I will become your fucking problem. You do not live without apologizing.

I may hate myself, I may be apathetic, I may want to die and die and die.

But I will not give you the satisfaction of assuming I might, or that I can't handle the "real world".

I've handled Hell as a child, I don't give a fuck-- I just need to make you bow down to everything I've done in spite of the doubt I've been taught. Fuck you, fuck all this, fuck the love I still unfortunately I have for you. Fuck it all. You cannot die without me proving you are a huge piece of shit, and nothing more.

I need you to know you were wrong, you couldn't fathom how successful I would be, that you underestimated me--

You need to recognize I am more and bigger than what you told me I would ever be.