I...don't judge me for this,I'm not doing okay. This was supposed to be a standalone angsty fic but I found this part to be more better alone rather than in the fic
Dancing and the damned
Karl heisenberg x reader
Warning:mentions of depression,ptsd,mentally and physically fucked up,self harm,bassically a vent fic,mentions/implications of suicide
He couldn't find you,his heart racing,note clenched in his hand as he ran down corridor apon corridor in the factory. He mentally cursed himself for not sending out a few lycans beforehand,the search would've been easier if they would find you and bring you to him. You had been facing a bout of a sevear depressive episode,alcina and miranda had made one too many comments and triggered more than a few bad memories. Karl had been less than a happy camper when he found the note and a ring-your ring. The note adressed to him from you,the words majorly alarming heisenberg from the first sentance.
He caught a wiff of your scent,following it down a dark and dusty corridor he never bothered to clean. He could hear you before he even got in the room,small sniffles and sobs while trying to hold back a plethora of tears. Your head swarmed with negative thoughts,karl replacing many of the angry men in your memories while alcina and the bitch crow replaced a few important figures in your past life.
He held the ring close,his gloves gone and showed a silver band around his ring finger. He had proposed to you a bout back,you happily telling him yes which made him even more determined to figure out what was wrong.
"Y/n? Buttercup?" He said softly,finding your curled up form on the ground underneath a metal table. He pulled your form close,arms wrapping tightly around your body as if he let go and you would dissapear. He grabbed your hand,slipping the ring back on slowly while you moved back a little.
No words were exchanged, a few murmurs of praise and comfort whispered in your ear as he rubbed your back in soothing circles. He felt your form relax slightly against him,your visibly breakdown had softened to one of a soft cry. He saw the eyebags underneath your dull eyes,flinching as you stared up at him with an empty look.
"Love?" He said softly.
"Hm." You muttered,looking away to avoid his worried gaze up until he took his sunglasses off.
The metal lord didn't know what to do so he did what felt natural to him. His coat wrapped around your shoulders,hat on your head with you in his lap. He felt you calm,calming more than before,even calm enough to burry your face into the crook of his neck for comfort. He rubbed your back,finding a small spot where you loved rubbed,it calmed you much more than anything.
"M' sorry" you muttered,he only shook his head aggressively at your words,a hand moving to the back of your head to rub it as he spoke.
"No need to be sorry, they're the ones who should be sorry-the last thing you should be is sorry" he said in a matter of fact tone. The metal lord made no room for argument,making it so you would perk up at his words while in the save crook of his neck.
"Once I...we kill miranda,we will finally leave this horrible village behind" albeit he never would want to leave the factory itself behind,he wouldn't mind settling dow in the countryside on a farm that you both could call home,a few horses he could use to teach horseback riding to the little ones in his fantasies. He heard you sigh, nodding softly as he made his way to lean back against the flipped over table behind him,your face hidden by your hair(sorry if you got short hair). He softly brushed aside the soft locks of hair,smiling all the while as he saw your eyes brighten up once they connected with his.
His tail began to thump against the ground beneath him,he couldn't do much besides letting it slow down to a soft thump against the ground. You of course giggled softly at his frustrated look when his tail didn't stop its game. He smiles even more,even when you were sad,you always made him happy and smile. A simple giggle would send his mind into a happy orbit,something he caused that wasn't just pain.
He let you touch his tail,you strangley finding the soft fur soothing in a way,even relaxing when you touched the base to stroke it from base to the tip of his tail. He suddenly formed a plan that he was for sure would make you smile.
He stood up with you in his arms to set you down on the metal table you hid under. He stepped back,the man infront of your eyes changing in appearance to resemble one of a large werewolf creature. You are well familar with this form,finding happiness as he moved back to you to scoup you up into his large furry arms. He thought for a second,finding the room too dark and dusty for his idea,so he took off down into the hallway with you in his arms.
"Karl-" he shushed you softly,turning down a hallway and into another towards a domestic looking hallway. The metal stopped to meet wooden walls and flooring,two doors at the end of the hallway,one made for the entrance to the break room and one to yall's shared bedroom. The door was opened quickly with his power,the room dim which he was thankful for. His lighter lit a small black (insert favorite scent) scented candle,a smile on his furry face when you relaxed more into his arms. The bed creaking slightly as he climbed onto the bed with you in his arms still.
It was a small struggle manuvering the bed curtians(like the things scrooge mcduck has in the christmas movie) to give you both privacy,the only light was the dim candle in the corner of the room. He playfully huffed when you looked up at him,his furry black and silver furred hand coming down to gently carress your cheek. You found the fur there smooth and soft,even weakly smiling when he let you squish the paw pads on his hand. The man felt happy he got you to smile,his internal self jumping for joy when he saw your smile.
"Hey there" he said in a deep tone,moving to gently curl around your tired form. His ears perked up when you began to move around to get comfortable, even letting the happy thump of his tail show when you snagged one of the blankets to pull it over the both of you. His fur was soft,softer than any material you have known about,even those faux soft fur blankets you would have to comfort yourself. His tail stopped,your body curling against his soft and furry form.
He never knew how to properly comfort someone,only knowing that you loved his beastly form as much as you loved the human in him,so comfort and a beastly form came to mind as easy as cherry pie. His green eyes brightening when he placed a gentle kiss on your forhead and you returned it. For countless nights he had gone to sleep with you in his arms,he knew those moments when you thought he was still asleep,he knew you used those moments to cry and comfort yourself over any bad memories. He in return would give you a day you would remember,a happy memory he hoped as he filled those days with rest and relaxing,even "borrowing" a few books you eye at demetrescu's castle. He those nights would also hold you closer,you unknowingly being peppered with kisses and small 'I love you'.
"You...talk?" His vocabulary was severely limited in this form,so he tried his best to word things in a way you would understand.
"Just...what they said...bad memories and it got to me,I shouldn't let them get to me I know but I'm so used to those hurtful words on a daily basis,no one would've said anything but it's better knowing someone cares" you said softly,he nodded and kept listeneing to you rant snd vent your emotions out,even conforting you when you began to cry again.
Once everything was said and finished,he kept you close to him. His form shrinking into his more human form as he cuddled you close to his now naked body. The blanket luckily kept you both warm,even he moved to put on a pair of loosely thrown out the bed pajama pants you saved up to buy him. He found the material too comfortable to complain,he returned the favor the next day by proposing that moment,a promise to protect you from anything he could.
He felt weak knowing he wouldn't be able to strangle those negative thoughts inside of your head,a small frown that turned into a smile when you looked up at him with a small soft smile of your own.
"Theres my y/n,now how about we just spend some is time tommorow okay? No forge,no workshop,just us and starwars" he smiled,knowing the moment he mentioned starwars,you were hooked. He would have to set up the tv but he would set it up in a way so you both could be laying down in the confortable bed,pillows to the sides with small treats you've baked on a tray infront of you both. Perhaps he would quote starwars or even recreate a lightsaber when the time came...but now it was you,you were the only thing in his mind when he came back from his happy daydream.
You had ended up tiring yourself out,now sound asleep in his arms when he turned to look at your relaxed form. His hand intertwined with yours,kissing the ring on your finger with a happy smile that he found you before you did anything bad.
Maybe he would also begin to include ways of murdering his sister before miranda,an idea he thought throughoutly about before he himself fell asleep in the warm comfortable bed
