ShikaIno + Shikamaru's fail attempt to seduce Ino. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Send me a prompt and a pairing, and I’ll write you a oneshot! :)
“Uh… Shikamaru… Is there something wrong with your face?”
Said man immediately scowled, leaning back into the couch. “What are you talking about, woman?”
Ino shrugged, but the look of concern didn’t leave her face. “You were making a weird face. Is something wrong? Does your stomach hurt?”
“I wasn’t making a weird face,” he said, shooting her a glare, daring her to push forward. “Troublesome woman.”
She simply rolled her eyes in response, facing back toward the movie. “Whatever.”
With a dejected sigh he was sure Ino took as a tired one, he frowned. He was one of the smartest people in the village, a skilled ninja, and strategist, a right hand to the Hokage, a freaking jounin, and he couldn’t even get stupid blonde next to him to even give him the time of day.
Well, okay, that wasn’t exactly true. He guessed concern was better than nothing, and she could just as easily blatantly ignore him, but still. Concern wasn’t what he wanted, and he certainly didn’t want trouble. In fact, a small part of him had decided a long, long time ago that she was far more trouble than she was worth.
How could such a tiny woman need so much damn effort? He did not know, and Shikamaru knew a lot.
A much larger part of him, though, a part of him that certainly knew better, a logical part of him, had decided early on that this wasn’t going to be a particularly easy task. Ino was a strong-willed, confident, loud, obnoxious woman, and he had gone into it knowing it would take more than a few flirty comments, or “sexy faces” (he had been practicing in front of the mirror, she honestly didn’t know anything) to get her to look past her self-obsession at him.
It was worth it, he reminded himself. No matter how troublesome, it was totally worth it. There was no questioning whether or not it was worth it.
It was too late now, anyway. He was in way too deep.
Sighing loudly to get her attention, he smirked a little and, thoroughly interrupting the movie, said, “You look really nice in that skirt, Ino.” Bullseye.
She shot him a curious look for a moment, before settling into a tiny grin. Yeah, that’s right, he totally got her, come to Papa—
“Yeah, you’re right, I do! Thanks, Shikamaru!”
He felt like he was going to vomit. “Yeah, uh, sure, no problem.”
“Hey, do you want popcorn?” she asked, already starting to get up. “I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said quickly, nodding his head vigorously. “Thanks.”
She nodded her head slowly in return, raising an eyebrow at his strange antics, but didn’t question him, much to his relief. She paused the movie, and started toward the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”
He tried to think hard about what his friends had told him about how they had gotten all their girlfriends, but that was of no use. Hinata was already obsessed with Naruto to the point that she couldn’t even breath when he was around before he finally noticed her, and everybody knew Sakura and Sasuke were like, bound to be together or something, so that didn’t really help.
He even tried thinking back to what his father had told him about women, but shot that down seeing as he hadn’t said anything more than, “all women are troublesome, don’t get married. If you decide to, try to find the least troublesome woman.”
Ino sure as hell was not the least troublesome woman ever, that was for shit sure.
With a loud groan, he thought quickly. That was what Shikamaru did; thought on his feet, came up with ideas faster than anybody else.
So he took his position, and waited.
Not less than a minute later, like he had thought, she was entering the kitchen, already shoveling popcorn into her mouth. She was about to say something, but immediately stopped in her tracks.
She fumbled with the popcorn for a minute, before laughing an uncomfortable laugh. “Uh… Is that… A comfortable position for you?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”
“And you’re making that face again—move over, moron,” she exclaimed, scrunching her nose as she plopped in between what little space he had left for her between his feet and the elbow of the couch. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
Coming up from his spot sprawled across the couch, removing his hand from his chin, he frowned deeper than he had ever before. “I’m fine, Ino.” It had been so brilliant. He honestly couldn’t even imagine why it hadn’t worked. He had left absolutely no room for on the couch, save for laying down right beside him. How could she have not understood? Was she stupid, or something?
“You don’t seem fine,” she said, frowning as she tucked back into her food. “Want some?”
“No, thanks,” he snapped.
She rolled her big, blue eyes again. “No need for an attitude, Shikamaru,” she began reaching for the remote to start the movie again. “I’m not the one acting weird.”
He knocked the remote out of her hand, nearly taking the popcorn with it. “I am not acting weird, Ino!” he yelled, far from the leisurely tone he usually took on. “How could you be so stupid?”
She frowned. “Hey, where do you think you get off calling me stupid—?”
“I’m hitting on you, dumbass!” he finally yelled, standing up from his seat. How on earth did this woman get him to move so damn much? “Flirting with you! Seducing you! Whatever! Are you that big of a moron?”
She sat there, eyes wide, watching her friend tirade. “Uh…”
“Honestly, are you blind?” he questioned, glaring heatedly. “What is wrong with you?”
For a moment, she looked like she was going to cry, or scream, or something. He had finally gotten through to her, he thought, his frown turning into a smirk. Now she’d finally come crawling to him, it was just a matter of—
“Rude,” she said with a snort, leaning back into the couch and reaching for the remote. “If you want to get in my pants, yelling at me isn’t the way.”
