#fudgingqueeraf

[archivistbot]

Whoooo wants some PUDDING?!?!?!?!

ELIAS (JONAH):  Yes. Well, (brief pause) PUDDING.

[scythian-andromache]

Joe with "She called me dad!!!!!" and Nicky with "She was being sarcastic!" give Andy a headache. Nike wants to confirm that she was being sarcastic but she doesn't feel like she could do that to Joe.

Look, the potential for comedy in this ridiculous family with one shared brain cell is unparalleled. 

The conversation you describe is objectively hilarious, and reminiscent of the incident with Booker c. 200 years prior:

[...] Booker: Thanks, Dad... Why is everyone staring at me? Nicky: You just called Joe dad; you said thanks, dad. Booker: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man. Joe: Do you see me as a father figure, Booker? Booker: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me. Andy: Hey! You show your father some respect! Booker: I didn't call him Dad!

[in-love-with-writing002]

Now I'm convinced that God!Jaskier shows up at Kaer Morhen at one point and does a few minor miracles before forcing everyone into a group hug "because you need it godsdamnit! Pardon the pun."

“Pardon the pun,” oh my goodness I’m screaming. Okay, this is far too good not to give you a snippet— it’s a little angsty but there’s a happy ending. CW for technical emotional manipulation, though nobody’s hurt by it.

Witchers suppress their emotions— but Jaskier opens them to it.

It’s Winter, which means a trip to Kaer Morhen, as it had for Jaskier when he was still alive. He still makes the trip with Geralt, as is tradition.

He remembers that the trip there was harsh and unforgiving, the path cold to the point of constant shivers, the trail rough to the point of blisters on his feet that were opened and bloodied by the time he reached the keep.

Making the trip as a god, he hardly feels the cold, only aware of it because of the snow landing on his skin, the way his breath fogged in front of him. He practically dances over the ground, feeling light and giddy with the weather swirling into a storm. Geralt, who had been forced to listen to his complaints in his life, now looks jealous as Jaskier dons his fashionable doublets usually reserved for the warmer months.

Kaer Morhen is as welcoming as ever, which is to say, not very. The people are as entertaining as they’ve ever been, Eskel, Lambert, Vesemir, Geralt, Coen, and Jaskier the attendees for the season.

“Can you do magic?” Eskel asks, because it’s a reasonable thing to ask. Reluctantly, Jaskier has to say— no, he can’t. All he knows that he can do is find purities and impurities and enhance them.

It begins a sort of experimental game— Can Jaskier make flint out of sediment rocks? (Yes) can Jaskier make steel from iron bar? (Yes) Jaskier also can’t touch the rum or moonshine, because he turns it into alcohol, water, and sugarif it touches him. He’s still working out the kinks of the new form, it’s a work in progress.

- -

Jaskier does recognize one thing he can do, fairly early on. It’s a little different than he’s used to, because it deals with people, but he can enhance emotions when they creep up into people’s hearts, until they become overwhelmed by it. When Geralt and Eskel return, blessedly uninjured and safe from dispatching a harpy nest at the beginning of the month, Vesemir cries in relief because Jaskier is happy to see them back. 

“Ah, he’s probably had too many spirits,” Lambert says, patting the weepy old witcher on the shoulder awkwardly. Jaskier knows that’s not true— Some part of his aging soul can almost sense what each of his charges is doing at one time or another. He realizes he’s let his power out a little and reels it in, and the tears stop.

“Get offa me,” Vesemir grumbles to Lambert, shoving his hand off. Jaskier doesn’t say anything because he uses it so unthinkingly.

Drunken chuckles turn into full-blown howls of laughter that echo through the keep when Jaskier feels amused. Eskel and Geralt laying near each other by the fire in the library turns into full-blown cuddle piles because Jaskier feels particularly affectionate and fond of them all. Friendly Gwent matches turn into wrestling when Jaskier’s competitive spirit gets riled up.

It’s not like they go ignored, either. Oftentimes the return to normal means awkward apologies or shoves to get each other away, though they get less frequent as the season progresses. The first time Jaskier sees Coen and Lambert laying against each other his inhuman heart nearly bursts with joy. (It makes the pair of them hold each other closer and Jaskier has to pull himself back in before someone else runs in to join in the affection.

It’s at its worst when someone leaves or returns, though he hasn’t had any of them start crying again.

“Be safe,” Eskel tells Lambert, squeezing his shoulder to wish him goodbye on a Warg hunt. Jaskier’s heart aches with the tenderness, and the pair of them— in front of everyone— hug tightly. Jaskier feels a peace settle over him then, the wave over as soon as it came, but he sees the other three look down at their medallions suspiciously.

“Oh,” Jaskier says sheepishly as Vesemir raises a brow at him. He just shrugs, unsure of what to say. It’s not as though he’d done anything wrong, after all. “Sorry.” Jaskier watches Eskel and Lambert separate and he still feels that ache—

But he pushes it away.

- -

It’s the end of the winter, which means a return to the path for the witchers and Jaskier. Though their journeys will separate them for a while, Jaskier can still visit when he wants to check in, or when he’s feeling particularly worried.

The goodbye is the hardest part for him, having trained with himself to make sure his feelings don’t get in the way of their goodbye, Jaskier is fidgety with unused energy, barely-suppressed want to rain love and affection on his charges.

They’re all leaving on the same day, which is a little strange, but Jaskier accepts it— At least he doesn’t have to say goodbye more than once. Still, he can feel the thrum of suppressed emotions inside of him. Has Vesemir told them about his ability? No, Lambert at the very least would have brought it up, or they would have behaved differently around him.

“Jaskier,” Jaskier looks up from where he’s staring at his twitching hands, and sees Vesemir is holding out a hand, other arm arched in the air— A hug. He’s asking for a hug. “It’s a good time for them- us, to be emotional, I think.” Jaskier doesn’t know how to reply, he’s stricken, he has frozen his emotions with the winter and now isn’t sure if he even knows how to thaw.

“Come on, Jaskier,” Lambert says it, gives his shoulder a gentle shove. Jaskier lets out a shocked little sound.

“You knew?”

“I’ve never seen a witcher cry,” Coen says. “You’re the only thing that’s different.” Jaskier’s chest warms, and he can feel the echoing thrum of his energy, pulsing out in the immediate area, stronger after being pent up for so long. He sees Eskel stumble a little and almost winces when he remembers his sensitivity to magic— But Geralt is there immediately, helping him stand, and he sends Jaskier an encouraging smile. A smile.

Jaskier sighs, releasing the tension from his shoulders, and is immediately shocked when the snowy grass around them erupts into wildflowers. He thinks he’s going to pass out. He can see the others follow him when he falls on the ground, piling over him and hugging him, tears in their eyes, smiles on their faces, arms out for easy, affectionate embraces.

Jaskier basks in it, while the buttercups cushion their fall, and Jaskier is in one place but he is everywhere, and he feels lost, he feels pure in a way he hasn’t been in since he was just a vengeful spirit.

But this is so much better than being angry.

[archivistbot]

Jon, would you like some cookies? I made them myself.

ARCHIVIST:  Uh… yes. Um. Y… Yes, I suppose I would.

[scythian-andromache]

Finally got the guts to come off anon, and looking at the Joe and Nickie's hug styles. Nicky is soft, and rather gentle, while Joe is like a hyper puppy and that feels so in character? It tells us so much about how they go about showing they care.

Hello and welcome! :+)

Yeah, their hugs are spot on. I went back and watched, just to see again.

Nicky's is soft. It speaks of care, and kindness. He is measured, conscientious. He is the epitome of still waters run deep. His kindness is borne of a deep understanding of the horrors the world can bestow, and the wish to do good. His hugs are soft, but reserved. It is the hug of a patient man, a disciplined man. And on the flip side is a cold, calculating man who will be out-waited by no one to get his shot. Woe is thee who crosses Nicky's kindness, and must see what lies on the other side of that endless patience, what happens when you've exhausted the near-inexhaustible kindness. 

Joe's is exuberant. He picks Andy up and spins her, pulling out a laugh, charismatic and willing to look for bits of joy and laughter where he can. He is passion, enthusiasm, the artist with a certain joie de vivre. He is soft in a different way, he feels things oh-so-deeply and makes the most of those moments. He is an avid learner, picks up instruments and different forms of art and channels all of it in expressive ways. He is, perhaps, slightly quicker to respond to the emotions he feels than Nicky, but he also doesn't hold grudges the way Nicky does either, I think. Joe is kind because it fosters kindness, and that is how the world will improve, a little bit of expressive love at a time.

Maybe the hugs don't say quite all that, but the hug styles do align with everything else we learn about their characters.  

[scythian-andromache]

Sometimes being immortal boyfriends means spending ages in a bath together, and sometimes it means your leader physically drags you two out with no sense of decency because there's only one bath and no one's allowed on the furniture until they can clean the gore off of themselves.

If everyone is bathing solo post-mission, they have a rotating system for shower order, but there is a Rule that if Nicky and Joe want to bathe together they have to go last for this very reason. 

[scythian-andromache]

HI SO WHEN ANDY IS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AS THEY DISCUSS IF THEY SHOULD TAKE THE JOB THERE'S A STRING THAT YOU CAN SEE DISAPPEARS UNDER HER SHIRT! SHE'S WEARING A NECKLACE UNDER HER SHIRT AND IM SO CURIOUS NOW.

I have the distinct honor and privilege of informing you that not only is Andy indeed wearing a necklace, it belonged to Quỳnh. Once I hit publish on this ask, I'll reblog an excellent post about it, because we all need more Andy/Quỳnh feels in our lives. 

[scythian-andromache]

I love sending you asks because I have ideas and you make them better or more and that sparks joy. Another thought is that Booker always has his harmonica on him and he pulls it out every time he hears a Johnny Cash song because he's got those memorized.

Fsfkfsksfks I have no canon explanation for why Booker would know or like Johnny Cash and tbqh I DON’T CARE because this ask made me laugh! Because it made me imagine something mildly inconvenient happening and Booker whipping out his harmonica and playing a Sad Country Song and everyone is just like “Booker, the harmonica? Why?” And then Mr. Depressed Frenchman is like ceci n’est pas un harmonica and then he Never Speaks Of It Again.

I’m glad you like sending asks; I like receiving them and spit-balling! Mostly I just want my little corner of the fandom sandbox to be a fun & inclusive place!