#fun bolding

[a-human-in-love-and-living]

I feel uneasy when I'm not around you and calm when you are there. You make it easier and harder to be myself around you all at once; letting go, and keeping myself in check at all times. As I listen to the music, I can't help but think of you; how you sound, how you smell. How you make me smile about the stupidest things in the world. I feel no ache in my heart, but my body longs to be next to yours. This is a song I would play to rest my head on your chest, to hear your heart beating. A beautiful piece like this that I can hear coming from your fingers that coax living wonders from the simple piano keys. I could spend the rest of my life with my head on your shoulder as you play me this lullaby. The world could be burning, but I would only hear this song, your voice, telling me about the things that light up your eyes. I would only see your hands, which have pulled me from the brink more times than I can count. I would only feel your arms around mine when you hug me. I would only smell the scent that is so you, that is so ingrained in my memory. How can I say these words to you? I never know how in the moment. My hands cannot yet bring the melodies to life like you do. My voice breaks when I try to speak. My eyes cloud when I try to see. I barely exist, numb to the world, when I try to tell you. The only thing I can do is show you, I suppose. That is for another day, though. For now, all I can do is soothe my mind with this lullaby as I imagine you with me, dancing to this piece like you danced away with my heart.

[a-human-in-love-and-living]

when sitting in chairs, sometimes my adhd and bisexuality cancel each other out.

whenever i sit in a chair, i want to tuck one leg under the other and bounce my knee up and down

but then the rsd kicks in and i get panicked that my teacher will tell me to 'sit properly,' or a classmate behind me will be annoyed that they can't see.

so i sit normally and fidget constantly.

[a-human-in-love-and-living]

should i do my fun bolding for every post i make or just the neurodivergent related ones? what do y'all think? 

i mean, do y'all really wanna hear me wax poetic about the boy i'm in love with and have to put up with it? y'alls choice :)! 

[a-human-in-love-and-living]

In the Eye of the Beholder

There was a girl who lived in a world that had its problems and its faults. This world had ups and downs, peace and war, storms and sunny days. There were children who played in the grass and the streets in some countries. There were children who were not allowed outside their houses. There were people who strived to change the world and people who sought to destroy it. There were people like you and me, searching for the answers to questions we don't know yet. 

There was a girl who wanted to be known by the world. There was a boy who didn't know what he wanted. There were people who only ever stood for what they thought was right. 

I don't know this story and yet, I write it here on this page for you. We'll find out together, I suppose, what happens on this journey. 

[a-human-in-love-and-living]

Tuesday, February 2, 2021 - #1

i didn't do my daily post yesterday or ereyesterday. 

well i'm in chemistry now, and we'll be making soap. apparently it's dangerous. the process is called saponification. it sounds very cool, but to be honest i'm so tired right now that i can't really concentrate on what he's saying.

i didn't clean the kitchen last night even though i said i would last night. i feel very bad about that. 

i have candy in my pocket. a milky way and a mini reese's cup. i want to eat them but i'm not sure i should in a chemistry class where i probably need to keep my hands clean.

the day has barely started and it just doesn't sound fun. i want to talk to my best friend (yeah, the one i'm in love with), but i feel like i'll be bothering him. 

I'll probably come back later.