I got my (anonymous) student reviews of last semester's course
Students: too much literature about religion
Students: Classes should be more involved/interactive.
Me: So why didn't you speak up, you stupid shit?
Students: Students should be able to choose the literature we study.
Me: How the fuck do you think that's going to work?
Me: We spent a third of the course on poetry. Deal with it.
Me: There's no pleasing you children.
Students: Longer office hours.
Me: I spent three hours a week sitting in a poorly ventilated, overheated office, and only two students out of 28 ever came to see me with questions, even when I said multiple times that we could make separate appointments if those designated hours didn't work. All this and I wasn't actually contractually obligated to have ANY office hours. Bite me.
Students: Take into account some of us are science students and don't think so abstractly. We write more fact-based and English isn't always easy for us.
Me: That's why you're required to take the course, moron. That's exactly why. Therefore it would be counterproductive to pander to your inability to think abstractly.
Students: I wanted to learn more about proper essay formatting. :(
Me: I told you at the start of the semester that there were students in the class from at least half a dozen different disciplines, all using different formatting styles. There isn't time to teach all of those. If you had questions, why didn't you come see me?
Students: Too much material to study for the exam.
Me: Next time, we'll spend a month on a single poem, a month on a single play, and a month on a single novel. You will be fucking sick of them, I promise you, and the exam will be murder because you'll be expected to know them inside and out, but at least you'll only have three works you have to know.
