I hang out every weekend till his birthday. Those 21 days were some of the best of my life. I still don't want to date him or anything. However every time we hang out he gets hotter. I really want to fuck him but I don't want to ruin my only friendship I have. So I resisted the urge to tell him how handsome he looks every time I see him. The more I see him the happier I feel. Hanging out with him is good for my mental health. I like his jokes. He has called me pretty a couple of times so maybe calling him handsome wouldn't be so bad. It's not like it means I want to date him or anything.
My alarm rings at 9 am on October 20th. My first class starts at 10:30. The first thing I do after seeing that it's Bayley’s birthday is I text him a message that reads “Happy birthday Bayley I've really enjoyed getting to know you. It's really nice to have something to do on the weekends besides homework, job, and watching New Girl.” I couldn't help but think maybe I could do you sometime. Of course, I didn't send that. I made him a card already and drew him. I'm not very good. It was the first thing I drew in a year. I was depressed so I stopped drawing a year ago and I just never started up again. I might as well start now. Anyway, the card has two paragraphs in it describing how I felt on our adventures with him. We have been hanging out every weekend for the past 3 weeks and we have coffee and do our homework for our biology 101 and help each other.
He's leaned his head on my shoulder a few times and it usually stays there for hours. It's like my shoulder is the place his head has been searching for all his life. What am I even saying? I really should be in love when I'm with him. I feel happy but not in love. When he puts his head on my shoulder my stomach settles. I feel so relaxed I feel like falling asleep. That's not how I felt when I was in love at age 16. I felt energized and my heart would swell up and fly. I don't feel that way with him. I don't know if this is what people feel for their friends because I don't remember the last time I loved any of my friends at the time. I just feel comfortable, happy, and horny when I'm with him. I don't know if this is love. I don't want to date him because that would be a change. I like how it is now. The only change I want is for me to fuck him.
My phone rings. It's 20 minutes till my class. I'm driving there now. My phone is hooked up to the speakers I'm playing She and Him. Zoe Dechanel is so amazing. Sometimes I think I'm in love with her but that's not how it works. She is a celebrity. I don't think I've ever been this excited for Biology 101. I really like science but that's not why I'm happy. Augh I'm so fucking horny right now. I'm also nervous because I sorta wrote that fact on the card. I don't remember everything I wrote because if I memorized it I would not give it to him. I'm so afraid I'm going to ruin his birthday with this card. I want him to have the best birthday possible. If he wants to I plan to take him to his favorite coffee shop this weekend and then to my house if he wants. I have so many things to show him at my house. I don't want to ruin what I have with him. I don't really want friends besides the casual ones I see once a month for science club. I just feel overwhelmed with too many friends and too many people. I don't know.
Oh shit, I'm in the class and he is standing next to me. We both arrived 30 or so minutes early to make sure we could review the notes we took yesterday. He is just standing there with a huge smile on his face. Shit, he sees the card.
“Uh, happy birthday. I made you a stupid card and I'm not very good at writing or drawing. I mean not when it comes to non-science stuff. Well…” I say awkwardly.
“I can't believe you remembered!” He says excitedly opening the card. I want to disappear. This is so embarrassing. I just stand there staring at him. After what feels like hours but can't be more than 5 minutes. He hugs me. I'm still in shock. I feel nothing but fear.
“I love it. You are so pretty don't worry I don't want to date you either. I kept trying to give you hints that I wanted to sleep with you, this is the best way to tell me.” he whispers so quietly I can barely hear him. I've never heard him whisper and it's so hot. My weekend plans are so happening! I look to see if anyone is in the hallway. When I see no one I kiss his cheek and then whisper. “I have several birthday surprises planned for you this weekend.” He smiled in the hottest way possible. Not the same smile as when he was waiting for the card. I think he knows one of the surprises is sex he is clueless about the others.
I can't pay attention to the lecture today. I'm just thinking about sex and Bayley’s birthday. I can't stop replaying what just happened in my head. It was perfect. Maybe this wasn't so impossible after all. I hope he doesn't find a girlfriend. I don't want to be his girlfriend but if he found one we could never talk. Most people I talk to I don't want their partner to speak to someone they used to fuck or date. I hope this lasts longer than a few months like all the others. Most people don't want what I want or they do at first then they change their mind and I never speak to them or they call me when they get drunk or lonely. It's annoying.
I snap back into reality when the teacher asks me what the difference is between cells and animal cells. Thank god we were learning about something I already know today.
“Plant cells have cell walls which add an extra layer of protection. Plant cells also have Chloroplasts which play a major role in photosynthesis.”
“Thank you, Sophia, see someone was paying attention.”
I quickly glance at Bayley. He is starting. I should probably help him review the slides this weekend. He is not paying attention just like me. The only difference is that he is not going into science as a major.
I go to the rest of my classes trying my best to pay attention but I can't. I am very excited for this weekend. I am going to make sure Bayely has an amazing birthday. I will probably take him to his favorite coffee shop Crystal Cafe, then the apple orchard, lastly his favorite restaurant Plum Wasps then my apartment to show him all my decor and my favorite objects, and of course sex. I really hope he has fun. I know I will.
It’s 5:00 and I am watching New Girl and eating dinner. When I hear my phone ring it's Bayely.
“Hey So! I just wanted to say thanks for the card. It is a very sweet card. I really like the drawing of me. No one has ever drawn me before. It's nice to be someone's Muse.” Bayely chuckled.
“I am glad you liked the card. I was worried you wouldn't like the drawing. I haven't drawn anything in a while. I have surprise plans for your birthday. I will pick you up for them on Saturday. I get off work at two.”
“I am pumped. You work as a page at the downtown Detroit library right?”
“I live ten minutes from there”
“That's awesome, does 2:20 work for you? There are a few places I want to take you for your birthday. The last one is my house.”
“Yeah, I am so excited. I wonder what the places are. I like surprises. I wonder what your apartment looks like. Do you have roommates? What's the size of your apartment? Man oh man I am pumped”
I laughed not because what he said was funny but because he was so excited. “I don't have roommates. I have a small apartment with only one bedroom and one bathroom. I have lots of cool things in my home, at least I think they are cool. I really hope you have fun. Did you have a good birthday today? How does being 21 feel?”
“I had a good birthday I got three cards one from my grandparents, one from my mom and stepmom, and one from you. I really did not expect to get one from you. I figured you would not remember my birthday after all we have only known each other for a little less than a month. It's really a pleasant surprise. I have to hang up the phone. The guys are yelling for me.”
“Have fun with your friends”
I wonder what he is doing with his friends. I have had so much fun hanging out with him. I remember when he put his head on my shoulder while studying. He whispered, “Is this okay?” I was so horny when he did that. I really enjoy physical affection. I am too scared to ask for it most time. I haven't made any effort to make new friends. I don't think I am particularly shy. I just don't have much interest in talking to most people. I mostly keep to myself. I could try to make more friends if I wanted to but I don't really want to. I have one friend. It's not your typical friendship, which is my favorite kind of friendship. I like friendships that involve sex and physical affection. The sex part isn't necessary, just a nice bonus. I probably think about sex with Bayley too much for my own good. I just hope he doesn't fall in love with me cause if he did. I know I would not be able to feel the same.
I watched the Prince episode of New Girl. One of my favorite episodes. I want to eventually show Bayley 500 Days of Summer. It's one of my favorite movies partly because it has Zoey Deschanel in it. I am obsessed with Zoey Dechanel, probably a little too obsessed.
Work felt extra long today. I am so excited to spend time with Bayely. I don't think I love him but I don't know. I haven't been in love since I was 16 and I'm 20 now. First I am going to take him to the apple orchard, then I will take him to his favorite restaurant Plum Wasps, and lastly, I will take him to my apartment. I hope that's not too many places for him. I like spoiling people with gifts and adventures on their birthday.
My sister's birthday is not till March. I usually spend too much on her birthday. My parents keep telling me to stop spoiling my sister but I enjoy it. I save some money so I can spoil her on her birthday.
It's finally 2:00. I drink some water and go to the bathroom. I get in my car, eat my bagel, then drive to Bayley’s house. I put on CDbaby by Chloe Morandio. That's his favorite song.
“Hey, you actually came!”
“Why wouldn’t I? I told you would come Bayely.” I was really confused and surprised when he said that he could tell.
“I don’t know, some of my friends are kinda flaky.”
“Well, I’m not. It’s not like I usually hang out with anyone.”
Click the buckles on the passenger seat of my tiny dark purple car.
“I’ve been wondering who had this strange car with a billion stickers. I’ve never seen a car this color or with this many tiny stickers Where do you get all those stickers? I didn’t expect someone like you to have a car like this”
“I’m a lot more whimsical than people realize. I got the stickers from gifts, some bought and some most I "borrowed" from friends or my sister and found.”
I could hear his mid-length hair whipping around to turn to me as he said “YOU STOLE THEM! HOW DID NO ONE NOTICE?? YOUR LYING TO ME YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BIGGEST GOODIE TOW SHOWS I KNOW” he laughed so hard I have never heard anyone make a sound that loud
“That's exactly how I get away with it. Keep an eye on your trinkets Bayley." I smiled my playful yet sexy smile
“Don't call me Bayely when you are on your way to fuck me, my mom calls me that.” he chuckled.
With that figurative green light, the stoplight turned green.
“So hey what exactly do u have planned?”
“Well we are almost to your favorite restaurant Plum Wasps”
“Don't usually hang out with my bros all alone let alone one as hot as you.”
“I like this side of you, Bark. Looks like we are here”
“ Uh, I'm kinda terrible at this.”
“What do you mean? We have hung out before.”
“Well uh, I just mean my bros while some of them are affectionate at least compared to most men. But not like you…not like this. I'm terrible with words”
“We don't have to do anything you don't wanna do, this goes for literally anything Bark. I know how it feels to be used I don't want you to think that's how this is” I said nervously truth is my deepest fear is raping someone or someone saying “yes” when they don't mean it.
“Yeah, I know. How is your burger, So? I have never heard of anyone having a burger with bacon and eggs. I don’t think Plum Wasps had this last time I went.”
“I wouldn’t know how long it’s been on the menu. This is my first time at Plum Wasps. But I have eaten burgers with bacon and eggs before. It's a delicious burger. My true love is a bacon burger. The best burger joint is in Memphis Tennessee Hughes used to have a contest of sorts where you blow toothpicks onto the ceiling with straws and at the end of the year people would guess how many were up there but get some sort of prize. Hughes stopped doing that after COVID. All good things ended in 2020 I fear.”
“SO! Don’t tell me you used to live in Memphis? You just keep getting cooler every time I talk to you.”
“I never lived in Memphis my mom and dad used to, though I have visited more times than I can count to visit my mom’s parents. There are a few more interesting things there. Bark at least we have one of the most dick-shaped landmarks.”
“What are you on about, So?” He laughed
“The water tower obviously,” I said with the straightest face I have ever made.
“You are way weirder than I thought. The name Sophia does not suit a freak like you.” he laughed then continued “I used to live in Lakewood Ohio I went to Elementary school there. Eastwood Elementary Lakewood Ohio I wonder if it's still there. I was in special education for the second and third grades because of my dyslexia. I can read alright now for the most part. It was a struggle for a long time. Still is to be honest. I am not always good at talking or understanding what others are saying either. I guess that's the weirdest thing about me”
“That's not weird at all! I have my own struggles. One of the major reasons I don't seek out friends more often is because of Autism trauma and a hint of laziness. I just like to stay home or explore on my own plus every new relationship means change. But I'm beginning to think you are a good kind of change”
“We are ready for the check,” I said, checking to see if Bark finished his food. He ate every crumb of his Swiss, mushroom, and steak burger.
“Can I ask you something, So?”
“Sure go ahead,” I wonder what he is going to ask about the last time someone asked that it was something truly awful. He is not like that right? he can't be like that..
“Why don't you like your birthday?” as he said that I had an almost physically painful shock of memories. I turned the key and started driving. I took a long pause. “It's nothing” I know he didn't believe me.
“I know we don't know each other all that well but you can tell me anything on your mind whenever you are ready to” I didn't respond I just could not. There was a silence that felt like an hour but in reality was probably 2 or 5 minutes. I just kept remembering all those tweens laughing at me when I opened a doll I had begged Emma to get me. It was my 13th birthday the day I realized I was too old for toys.
“I didn't like parties when I was little. I threw these parties and invited my whole class. It was an attempt for me to make more friends. I thought I didn't need more friends. I was happy with one or two friends in the class. Of course, likening only a few people meant they would inevitably get sick of me. I think that's why all my friends began to hate me. I am talkative once I get to know someone which usually takes a long time. I'm surprised I am saying all this. I don't know how you drew me in.” I could tell he didn't know what to say. I mean who would?
“We are almost to the apple orchard; it closes in an hour. If you don't want to go, that's alright. I can drive you somewhere else.” I said that the very flat tone was definitely too flat.
“Are u alright? I have had a wonderful birthday thanks to you but if you want to drive me home that's fine.”
“Nonsense. I'm sorry my tone was so cold-sounding. I want to spend as much time with you as possible today. Although If you are getting tired I can take you to your house.”
“I am a bit tired. How about we go to my place and have some fun there?” he looked at me and I could tell he was trying to be sexy. I smiled. He gave me his address again.
I don’t remember what he or I said in that short drive to Bark’s house. I probably was not paying attention too busy thinking about what I knew he meant by “let’s have some fun at my house”
Surprisingly Bark wasn’t using house as a synonym for home. I wonder how he affords it. His house is painted dark wine red with accents of dark forest green. A wooden welcome sign was in his front door with the word carved into it looked like it would give me a splinter if I touched it.
“Welcome to my amazing abode!” Bark said in an obviously over dramatic tone. He bowed, twirled his wrist and made a downward half circle gesture with his arm.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. “I’m so glad you planned this special day for me, especially since we have only known each other for around a month. I have this amazing feeling we are gonna be close friends” after he was hugging me as he said this and I couldn’t help but think if I were to fall in love with him it would be now. I didn’t and I won’t. Still sometimes in the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder if my life would be better if I fell in love. Maybe one day I would love Bark, maybe I already do but not romantically.
“I’m glad you had fun. I just thought it was only fair to give you an amazing time since you have given me so much joy,” I said. Oh god that sounds like a line from one of those cheesy rom coms I love.
Bark shows me his beautiful home. His home feels so cozy just like him. His decor reminds me of quilts which he has plenty of. His walls are painted dark rich colors like dark wine red, dark forest green, and dark royal purple. The outside of his house is painted wine red with accents of deep forest green. Hung everywhere are quilts, impressionist paintings, pages from picture books, and photographs of him and his friends and family having the most fun.
He had a couch covered in red velvet. His tv didn’t match the aesthetic of Bark’s house; it was a pink flat screen on a Padauk coffee table.
“Your house is so cozy Bark almost as cozy as you” I say in awe
“Why thank u ma’lady” he bowed. I laughed he was acting like a medieval party host.
“Let us venture to my bedchamber” Bark said with a surprisingly straight face, bowing and pointing to his bedroom. When he rose he looked at me with his evil sexy smile. I was laughing the whole time.
I plumped onto his bed still laughing. That’s when I noticed a picture of me and Bark at the apple orchard, his arms around me hugging me from behind under an apple tree and a pumpkin patch behind me holding an apple cider half gallon and a donut dripping with apple cider. I remember Bark saying he was gonna ask someone to take our picture and me saying we shouldn’t bother anyone but he insisted. This old lady heard us arguing and said she could take our picture. She said we were the cutest couple which is something we would never be. Which is something I can’t believe he wants. Most people when they get all lovey Dovey and sexual with me they want to date then usually we never speak and I end up grieving again.
“It’s so sweet you hung that photo of us” as I said that I noticed what he wrote under the photograph “my new friend So” he drew a star after he wrote So.
“Not even close to the sweetness of you. I still can’t believe you planned this whole amazing day and made me that card. You even drew me and you said you hadn’t done that in years.”
I smiled so wide it hurt.
He reached into the top drawer of his bedside table and said, “Do you want to have sex?” Pulling out a condom
“Yeah!!” I said enthusiastically with a huge smile
“What is off limits for you, So? I personally hate hickies. And calling people sluts, hoe, dirty, or anything degrading and hate that stuff directed at me,” Bark said
“I enjoy kisses a lot all over my body, both giving and receiving. I like when people ask me if I like that or are you having fun stuff like that. I know this is mostly unrelated to sex, but I hate tickles with a burning passion because even when I say no, it doesn’t sound like a no because of uncontrollable laughter. Also, tickling hurts me and feels itchy. I can’t think of anything else. Thanks so much for asking about my boundaries. If I ever do anything that makes you upset or uncomfortable, please tell me as soon as you feel comfortable doing so”
“You look so handsome today and always. Can I kiss you, So?” Oh God, he called me handsome, and I felt all-consuming euphoria.
“Please,” he moved closer to me, our foreheads touching, he laughed a short, loud laugh. His warm soft arms around. His big hands with his long hands on my upper back I felt so energized yet relaxed. When he kissed me I didn’t feel that usual fear of people wanting more than what i could give.
I felt Bark’s dick push up agisnst me. I pulled away from kissing then smiled and ask “do you want to take off my shirt?”
“Obvously” Bark said with the biggest smile i had seen him with.
He pulled off my favofite shirt black with a pink rib cage desiegh. Underneath i was wearing a wine red lacey bra. “You look wonderful. You look hot in that bra. Of course you always look hot,”
“Thanks Bark. Can i take off your pants?”
I unzipped Bark’s jeans.Pulled off his jeans and said “your penis is free”
We both laughed. We got comply undressed. “Please kiss me all over.” I said
Bark liked his lips. He kissed my forehead, then my cheeks. When he kissed my neck he used his tongue and sucked a little it felt so good. I started getting wet. My whole body felt ablaze. It was amazing. “Can I touch?” Bark asked pointing to my breasts, “Please do” I smiled with my teeth and tung out.
It felt like a release all consuming like I was holding back tears but instead of pain it was pleasure. I could tell Bark was enjoying himself too. Now he always tells me just what he wants.
For the first time in a while I orgasmed because of someone else.
“Did you have fun, Bark?” I said with a devilish grin
“Duh” he laughed loudly. I’m getting used to the sound of his laughter. “I know you enjoyed yourself.” Bark said with his huge smile that feels like a warm friendly hug or a cup of hot coco on the coldest winter day.
I laughed so hard it hurt. And I couldn’t stop till I almost peed myself. I was just so happy and I still am because I have a full life partly because Bark is in it.
