#functioning anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 18

give up anon (new), 🍋 anon, new relationship anon (new), pg anon, thumbs down anon (new), the anon, grounded anon, functioning anon (new)

give up anon

I don’t really know what to do anymore. My life just feels bad all the time and I’m almost never happy.

(The rest is redacted)

Hi <3

I know it feels absolutely awful to feel like this. I've been there, and it's like...indescribable. But please know that it does get better and the important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Do small things to take care of yourself, and remember that you are worthy of love. Remember that doing anything - taking a shower, going on a walk, finishing a small task - is better than nothing. And, if you're able to, finding a therapist might really help

Sending love!

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🍋 anon

Hi it’s 🍋 anon. I FINALLY made a new art account and I’ve started posting. It feels good but omg the pressure. I do want to DM you maybe once I get a little more comfortable I will. Also would to have ideas for what to draw . I’m so thankful to you. I’ve been trying really hard to like my art now after changing my style since I’m trying to be different than what I used to be before and it’s hard, but I’m getting there I think. I think I’m slowly getting there I think and hopefully I’ll soon be able to take commissions and be a great artist 😭😭😭😭

(I would love any encouragement, I do tend to be very self critical) Also if you happen to find me naturally I would love that. It’s a Wolfstar fanart that I’ve posted. But it’s ok if you don’t. Sorry for rambling.

Hi! I'm so glad you're posting art again! You should definitely DM me, I'd love to see it! Congrats on the new account!!

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new relationship anon

Heyy. So, help?

So I am openly trans, and my partner is straight, and it's a new relationship, too recent.

And since I am openly trans, (I have been in pride, I am in lgbtqia club in uni, have been going to doctor regularly, etc.) I thought he knew when we first met. Because like, we met at a pride-like celebration ( in January, it was kinda new year for gays? It is almost the same as pride believe me). He said he came to support his sister (lesbian) and such. We talked there. I didn't had a noticeable flag on me, my nails painted in trans flag colors and my outfit in those colors too but not a flag directly.

Anyway we exchanged numbers, we talked, we talked more, hangout, after about 3 months we started dating at 1 April (bad date to start dating I guess?)

And now, after 15 days, I realized he doesn't know I am..trans? Like. Is he blind.

Blond technically

Anyway, but like, right now I am stressing out because I thought he knew? I have plenty of things around me that screams trans and he doesn't know I guess? What if he doesn't want to date me anymore this is new I don't want to ruin it- I wanted this to be something that lasts..

How do I say him? He is straight, what if he doesn't like me.

Fuck, cas, I am gonna cry

hi!

I mean so...I don't think hiding it is going to go well, in this situation. Like, he's going to find out eventually, you know? And really, why date him if he doesn't like you for who you are?

I think it's just thinking about HOW to tell him? Do you feel safe telling him in person or should it be over text? Should you have someone with you if you tell him irl? I know it's bad to think about, but I've heard stories of trans people getting bad reactions when coming out, and you want to make sure to stay safe.

I mean, I'd hope that he knows. Or at LEAST is supportive, given that you met a a pride event and he supports his sister. But yeah, I'd be like "hey, I wanted to make sure you know..." and go from there.

But remember that if he has a bad reaction, it's NOT a reflection on you or your worth. You deserve love <3

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pg anon

for friends: I genuinely don't think you can do anything else. all you can do is be there for them as much as your mental health allows. from what you're saying, you've literally done anything I can think of, so the important thing is to just be there, listen, and give them love. But also remember it's okay to step away when you need it. You can't help anyone if you're not feeling well.

dizzy: it's....mildly concerning the doctors aren't doing more about this. Like...what's causing the low iron? It sounds super frustrating, but also I'd ask more questions. push them to actually do their jobs, you know?

friend w cancer: I can't say much to this other than that sounds so overwhelming and I'm sending hugs <3

coming out: I mean if you don't want to do a whole coming out thing, could you just say 'btw, I'm dating x' and leave it at that? And if they ask about sexuality/labels say you don't want to talk about it? That way they're aware, but it's more of a casual thing. Or do they know about your boyfriend?

Your positives made me smile!

<3

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thumbs down anon

I've been a lesbian for the past five-ish years and since I figured it all out I've been really secure. But recently there's been this one guy and I've just been really confused. I've questioned my sexuality a few times but always in a passing conforming to the expectations of my extended family kind of way and just the thought of daring a man would make me feel off. But that's not really the case here and I'm just lost I guess. I'm not really too invested in labeling or figuring out this new thing anytime soon because quite frankly, I'm not sure I like him back. I feel like I do but I struggle sometimes to tell platonic and romantic feelings apart. And beyond that, I am terrified of commitment. Ans unfortunately I don't know him too well. I've known him technically for four years but not until the last week did we talk. I did tall to him about it but I really don't know how to process any of this. One one hand I feel like I'm betraying myself (for sure due to my fear of change) but at the same time I know I'm not. All in all, feelings are weird and I'm not a fan👎

Hi!

I, too, am not a fan of feelings lol

I mean if he's aware of your conflicting feelings and he's chill with it and you're also comfortable, maybe you could just...explore your feelings? Hang out with him and see what happens naturally? It's okay to explore feelings without knowing exactly what will happen, as long as everyone's comfortable and no boundaries are broken. It's also okay to not tell people until you're ready. It's also okay do decide you don't want to explore this! Honestly, whatever feels right to you (again, as long as everyone's comfortable and boundaries aren't broken).

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the anon

heyyy, it’s the anon!! Been awhile since I popped in, nuh? (Like nearly 6 weeks, damn)

Anygays- I’ve got words to speak and such (obvi, why else would I be here?)

So, I’ve been doing better at setting up boundaries with my partner. It’s been a slow struggle, but I have begun doing so.

There is one caveat to all this

Let me preface this by saying I’m in a special program for school (Idk if I’ve menti9ned it before, but yeah. Special program)

My partner has been missing so much school that they’re transferring to online instead of in person. Sad part? I feel way more comfortable at that thought. I kinda feel like a horrible partner because of how I feel about it. And it’s not even cuz I know it’ll help them, it’s because I know that I don’t have to put on as much of a mask during school.

I don’t get it, I don’t really know what to think.

Ignoring the negative/advice seeking part of my ask, I do have good news!! I made a friend à few months back, but just started talking to him more frequently. And guess what?? I managed to get him into Marauders. He literally stayed up all night to learn all about it.

So far his fav marauder is Remus, kin is regulus, and overall his fav ship is wolfstar

(I also got a very ‘angry’ text from him saying “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL MY BARTY’S NAME WAS BARTHOLOMEW” obvi, Barty’s name isn’t bartholomew its Bartemus or however the hell you spell it. But it was funny)

Hi!

I don't think you should feel guilty for your feelings. Sometimes spaces is what people need to sort their feelings out, you know? I'm glad you're working on boundaries, it a difficult thing! Remember that your partner's reaction to your boundaries is also a key sign.

Omg Barty's name being Bartolomeu would be awful.

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grounded anon

hi! I answered your ask right here :) God, what your mom said is so messed up and disgusting though, that's infuriating. I hope you know how wrong she is.

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functioning anon

hi cas. do you have any advice on how to start actually living, like being a functioning human being, instead of letting your mind float through brainrot and just generally hating existance?

idk if you'll get it but i'm just feeling very dead rn.

I totally get this. For me, making to do lists of little things I need to do to take care of myself (brush teeth, take a shower, eat) and then crossing them off is super motivating and helps me get out of bed on those days. Maybe that could help?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 12

functioning anon, powerless anon (new), galaxy anon, unofficial anon (new), fanart anon (new)

functioning anon

hey cas. it's functioning anon.

thanks for taking the time out of your day to answer, it meant a lot to me and i appreciate it.

here's the ask: life is hard. i don't want to die, but life is so hard. and i feel so many confusing emotions - i want to give up and not do anything ever, because why do i even exist? i shouldn't, really. but then two minutes later im smiling and having the best time of my life.

and realistically i know my life is probably way harder than the average person's, but i still can't forgive myself for not measuring up. each night i come back home exhausted and unable to move, and i sleep for like 5 to 6 hours before going to school and repeating. and i chose this life, i love it, but i want to give up every single fucking second of it. and im only in middle school. a few months later ill be in high school and the workload will be even greater.

i hate my body and i hate how i look (im fine being a cis girl, but i want to look more masculine) and i hate my personality and i hate that who i show i am to other people isn't who i really am. only a one or two of my friends and my family actually have seen the real me, and no one except myself truly understands or knows me, and it's so frustating.

and despite your advice last time helping me out a bit, i still feel like im just floating through life, like its not actually me, just a ghost pretending. it's so so hard to enjoy myself, i find myself smiling a lot less often. not fake ones, those i do all the time, but real smiles.

i just want to have a normal life. i don't understand - i love my family and my friends, they're awesome. no one bullies me or troubles me in any way. i should be happy, but i'm not.

im probably just faking it.

sorry for the super long ask, you don't have to answer, i just wanted to vent.

Hi <3

you're not faking it, and you're definitely not the first person to feel this way <3 But you also deserve to be happy with your life, and to enjoy the life you live. Do you have any adults in your life you trust to tell you're feeling like this? I'm not a professional or a doctor, but some of the things you're saying make me think of how I felt when I was around your age and I was diagnosed with depression. Asking for help when you feel this way can a lot of times make a HUGE difference, because you can find ways to work on these emotions, and feel better, you know? You deserve to feel better.

Sending love!

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powerless anon

Hey cas

I accidentally got into a really bad rabbit hole where I just saw so much anti trans and anti abortion stuff online and it makes me so sick.

It just makes me lose so much faith in humanity to see that stuff.

I’m very comfortably cisfem so I can’t fully understand obviously, what it’s like to be trans but I can still do my best to make people feel comfortable because at the very least, everyone deserves respect.

I accidentally saw a bunch of very right wing yt shorts about abortion and trans rights and I checked the comments and scrolled a fair way down and I couldn’t find a single comment against it.

it just makes me feel so powerless because there isn’t much and I can do and I’m still in high school.

I just really needed to vent

Hi!

yeah, there are a lot of gross people in the world. But the good news is you aren't completely powerless. You CAN call people out. Of course, keep your safety in mind, but if someone at your school or in your community says something bigoted, you can tell them that they're wrong. Even if you don't change their mind, you can be a signal to someone listening that they're not alone. Especially when it comes to anti-trans speech, since you are a cis person, when you call that shit out, you're showing trans people that we have cis allies fighting for us, and that means a lot <3 Like I said, make sure you're safe about it, but you do have a voice, and that's super important <3

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galaxy anon (tw- SI)

Hi hon <3

I'm going to be so honest with you right now. These exams feel like the biggest thing in the world. They feel like a mountain that's impossible to climb, and I get that. I have been there. I have failed exams, I have made shitty choices that changed my life in bad ways, and I have sat where you are and wondered why any of it is worth it.

And what I'm going to say is cliche but I need you to know it's true: It's been ten years since then, and all of that has been solved now.

You're talking about a VERY permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even if you fail every single exam you take, I PROMISE you, there's a way out of that. It might be difficult, but there IS a way. I believe in you, I love you, and there are other solutions.

So I need you to talk to someone. If you're not ready to tell them this is how you're feeling, that's okay. Of course, I'd love for you to tell them everything, but I get why that's scary. At least tell someone you're overwhelmed. Sit with someone. Breathe. I promise you it will be okay, and you deserve to get past this.

Remember on my pinned post, there's a link to some crisis hotlines. But I know you can get through this, I know you can talk to someone. I believe in you, and I believe YOU can believe in you, too.

Update me, okay?

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unofficial anon

Hey cas

I think pakistan just declared an /unofficial/ war on us (india) and I'm scared. I'm down south so I most probably won't be affected. But the prospect of it just disturbs me immensely.

Why do these things occur cas? Why do people want to kill other people? I'm told it's a religious war too, is this what god wanted?

I'm so sorry, hon <3 I can't imagine how scary that is. I googled it and it sounds like there's now a ceasefire?

As far as the religious component...that's hard for me to comment on, because I'm not religious, and I don't understand that part of it, you know? I don't know the history or the feelings there. But I have to believe that war was invented by humans, not God. War is flawed, just like humans are.

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fanart anon

sometimes i can't believe how hateful some people in this fandom are! i saw some fanart and i was reading the comments, right? some people were speculating whether it was jegulus or jily and someone in the comments just mentioned that they thought it was jegulus. another person responded about how it was jily and began to be very rude to the person and say things such as 'i hate jegulus and jegulus fans are so dumb' and i just couldn't believe it. why can't we just try to get along and respect others opinions? first and foremost, they are FICTIONAL characters😭

Hi!

Yeah, it's frustrating. I try not to get involved because I think those people are just looking for someone to be angry at- there's people like that who ship jegulus as well. Find the positive parts of fandom and stay there.