#powerless anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - January 26

14 anon, florian anon (new), powerless anon, usaid anon

14 anon

it’s 14 anonnnnn

got a lot to unpack today so let’s start with the good stuff

I had Wednesday and Thursday off of school this week and in Wednesday the sendco finally called my mum and so after mocks next week I’m going into a new form!!!

I said a while back that I applied to be a library prefect and I found out yesterday that I got the job!!!!

before the holidays we wrote an essay in English and we got the grades back yesterday and I got 35/40 which with the grade boundaries my teacher chose means I got a gcse grade 8 which is the second best you can get (still shocked because I thought the essay was crap)

I’ve been wanting a jellycat bunny for months and I finally got one because I had to go a & e for a finger injury from basketball (nothing serious)

now onto the bad stuff

it’s Saturday night and I’ve not touched anything educational for my mocks starting Monday

my friend L called me saying she told our heads of year about our friend F’s plan to go to an abandoned hotel (I think it’s a hotel) with her gf and loads of friends because her parents already said they don’t want her going there and it’s full of addicts and stuff and she didn’t want F getting hurt but now F is mad at her (I honestly think L was justified. I’m too afraid to say anything because I wanna keep everyone happy. Fatal flaw tbh)

there’s muscle or ligament strain in my foot so I can’t walk properly and the doctor said it’ll take a couple of weeks so that’s great 👍

(I do get to leave lessons early and use the lift so that’s nice)

there’s been NO development in the crush department

oh and I’m scared that F will somehow spread a rumour/tell my crush that I like him because she’s upset about L telling teachers about her plan and getting mad at me too (she’s the only person I trusted to tell about my crush)

one last thing… THE UK MIGHT GET AN UNDER 16 SOCIAL MEDIA BAN RIGHT AFTER IVE BEEN ALLOWED TIKTOK

Hi!

It's awesome to hear all of that great news! congrats on the job and the good grade!

I agree that L was justified. I wouldn't be too nervous about F retaliating at you, because you didn't do anything directly, but I also have to say...if someone makes you nervous about retaliation, it might be a good idea to not tell them secrets again, you know?

Ugh social media bans. Like...let parents decide.

Sending you love!

___

florian anon (new)

Hello :)

So I have this friend, and he kinda just stopped replying to my messages. The last time I heard from him was New Year’s day when he hearted one of my text messages, and I haven’t heard from him since. It isn’t too weird for us to not talk (like neither of us will text the other for a bit), but I’ve tried texting him (on several different occasions) and he left me on read. It sort of feels like I might have done something wrong, but our last interaction was normal as far as I remember. I don’t want to be pushy, especially if I did something but also have a feeling that something might be wrong. One of my friends told me that I should send him a text checking in on him, to make sure he’s alright, I think I might do that, but I don’t know.

What do you think I should do?

Thank you,

Florian

Hi!

I think you'll never know if yu don't ask. There are so many reasons why someone could stop responding, and it's not really helpful to just sit a speculate, you know? Gently ask if something's going on or if you did something wrong, and if your friend gets annoyed or angry, then that's not on you. You TRIED to communicate, and your friend didn't want to. But at least you did your best by trying. And if they DO say something, work on helping/fixing it! Either way, doing nothing isn't going to help, it's just going to drive you crazy! <3

___

powerless anon

Right now I am trying to convince someone why they deserve to have anything at all and I think it's absolutely horrible that this isn't the first time and won't be the last. I don't have the words to help but maybe the ones I do have can help because I love them. I've never even met them irl but I care so much that I don't know what to do with all this feeling they're 13 they're so young I hate that they've felt this because I know they'll never forget it.

I'm not even 16 yet I shouldn't have to tell people younger than me that they deserve to exist. I'll keep doing it though because I'd rather make myself sick with worry than anything happen to them and the multiple other people I love who don't think they should be alive. I just hate that anyone has to do this at all

-powerless anon

Hi <3

you're absolutely right that it is awful that someone so young feels that way. It shouldn't be like that, no matter what someone's age is. But I think it's important to remember that one major thing that can help mental health is a support system. If you're willing, you can continue to talk to this person, but you should also encourage them to find other supportive people to talk to. It's unhealthy to be someone's sole support system, because that makes you take on responsibility for someone, and you should only do that if you're a parent. it's okay to encourage people to have a group of people, and to set boundaries for yourself- you don't want to BOTH end up in distress.

Sending you love <3

__

usaid anon

Hi! I don't think you're overreacting. I think anything that makes you uncomfortable is something to be upset about! A lot of adult men don't even REALIZE when they're being creepy, and it's so unacceptable. It's unfortunate that young people have to be so aware of their surroundings and of red flags, because adults can be creeps.

If you told your parents about this, what would happen?

(I have to go be responsible so I'll respond to your other ask tomorrow!)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - December 31

the anon, intrusive thoughts anon, powerless anon

the anon

It’s the anon (with good news)!!!

I did it, I broke up with my partner. At the time of writing this, it happened roughly three hours ago and oh my god I can’t believe I did it

I ended up having a friend call me, and they muted as I talked to my partner. Having that presence for support made it so much easier on me, and I actually managed to get my words out. I did still cry obviously, but it went better than I expected it would.

So now, I’m officially single! Oh, and I realized I’m not aroace it was just that I had no attraction at all to my partner, or ig now ex partner, which is why I was thinking it.

So yeah, that’s my good news!!

I hope you enjoyed your holidays :D (you probs did more than me, I was sick over Xmas and I still am sick 😭😭)

Hi!

Congratulations! I know that's a super difficult and scary thing to do, so I'm so glad you had support <3 I'm proud of you for doing what's best for you. I hope you feel better soon, that sucks that you were sick over the holidays..

Sending love!

__

intrusive thoughts anon

Hi hon!

I am so sorry about everything you're going through and everything you're questioning. It's so hard because like...how can I give you advice on things that are so difficult and layered and some things I've never experienced before? I'm not Muslim, it's not illegal to be gay here...I don't understand what you are going through and the turmoil of your thoughts. But please know you are always welcome to send asks (whenever you want, there's not like...a limit) and I will listen! Your emotions are so valid and please remember that people care and you are valued and your identity is real <3

As far as your friends...good people can say shit things. It's okay to be angry and to set boundaries. It's okay to say that something hurt you. And a good friend will recognize that and work on it. because yeah, that was fucked.

I'm sending you love <3

__

powerless anon

Hi, it's powerless anon, this one isn't urgent so you can answer whenever

Context: In the past term, one of the kids from my primary school joined my high school after being at a different school for 3 years. In primary we weren't close at all and knew each other only because there were under 30 kids in our class.

So after he joined our school, he immediately joined my friend group because I was really excited that he was coming and half of our group is queer (he is too).

Since then, he's really been annoying me and I feel bad because he's not doing anything wrong but I personally am getting really annoyed and so are few of my other friends who knew him in primary school.

He doesn't seem to have changed at all since primary school which is really weird and it was fine when we were 12 but now we're 16?? And I was writing a fic and talking about how one of the characters was getting drunk and he said "that's not like you to write that. "

That specifically really pissed me off because you don't fucking know me??? You didn't know me before and you don't know me now? Like why do you think you do. And I saw him a few months ago before he joined the school and we were talking and I gave him my tumblr but now he goes through and likes around 30 posts at a time and I don't like mixing anything to do with school with my online anyway but I don't want him seeing my tumblr anymore but because I see him irl I can't just block him but I don't want to make a new account and idk what to do and I feel like I'm being mean but it's gotten to the point that everything he does annoys me. Again it's not his fault, he's just not my kind of person at all and I really needed to vent.

Thanks for reading.

ugh yeah I can see how this might be frustrating. are you able to create some space without like...completely ghosting him? like make sure there are people who sit between you two, don't be the first to text him, don't initiate conversations, stuff like that? just so like...you're both in the same friend group but you're not best friends?

___

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 4

grounded anon, arguing friends anon (new), breached shields anon, powerless anon, red anon

grounded anon

I know you haven't answered my other ask yes but OH WELL

(redacted)

Hi!

This is most recent ask from you so perhaps your old one got lost? Though I remember answering something about Full House recently, maybe you forgot to put your name on something? This is the one I answered most recently from you..

Anyway

UM your mom fatshaming you IS NOT okay. At all. And you're right, that's probably why you have a lot of struggles with food. But the things you're describing ARE symptoms of an ED. I'm not trying to scare you, but that's really worrisome, because EDs can quickly get out of control, you know? I really think you need to talk to your doctor or someone you trust about this, because it can be really dangerous really fast, and I want you to be healthy <3

As far as your mom's reaction to your story about the rumors...it sounds like she's digger her own grave here. She wants you to trust her, but then is saying untrustworthy things. That's so frsutrating, but I don't blame you for being mad <3

I have watched Full house! I can def see the Marauders variants there lol, a Full House marauders AU would be amazing!

___

arguing friends anon

My friends are arguing bc one (is straight) of them wanted to kiss this guy and the other (is lesbian) finding that idea gross and my straight friend said that she finds the idea of girls kissing gross too. So like what should I do???

I mean honestly, I think it depends on what they mean. If they're calling the idea gross for themselves, then they need to get over themselves. Like yeah, I don't like the idea of kissing some people. I think about it and I'm like...eh. Gross. but I'm friends with plenty of people who AREW attracted to those people. But I'm not going to tell THEM that they're gross for that.

Like...what was the intention? What was the implication? If they're saying it's gross for themselves, they can get over it. If they're calling each other gross, that's mean, and the straight friend is being homophobic.

___

Breached shields anon

i had the same idea as you suggested, but the thing is that for the first time in forever I actually like my room as it is. 😭

I ususally move stuff around every half year (prop because of ADHD) and its current state is the most comfortable I've ever been here. It's also the most 'me' it's ever been.

I'll be moving out in six months anyways (if all goes to plan), but idk if I really wanna wait until then.

Okay! What about a different sense, then? like if you get a room scent thing? I forget the name...one of those plugin things that makes the room smell good? or if you get an ambient noise machine? Something to make it feel different in a different sense?

___

powerless anon

Hi Cas

This is powerless anon, not related to my last ask but I like the name

I just talked to my doctor for the first time about getting a referral to a psychiatrist for possibly adhd and anxiety. She asked me a bunch of questions and I had to talk to her about how I'm doing and idk it just felt really big and I think it's the first time I've said it out loud and acknowledged it. I feel better now but I was shaking the whole time. She also talked to me about seeing a therapist. I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm 15 and it was my first time at the doctors without my mum.

For someone named 'powerless anon' this is a VERY powerful thing to do! I'm so proud of you! I know that's such a scary, overwhelming thing to do, and it can't have been easy, but you took such a big step to helping yourself! I hope you're proud of yourself because you did just a great thing! I'm sending you so many hugs!

___

red anon

Hey cass just a warning a bit of a rant incoming

So I hate that theres some phobias we've all collectively decided you must/will outgrow. Im 15 and i have a fear of the dark but also like kinda teratophobia ig and I feel really really stupid and dumb. Because i should know there's nothing in the shadows that can hurt me, im just being silly. logically i do know that but honestly? Sometimes im terrified.

I don't know how to put what i feel into words. I honestly feel like the problem is that my imagination is too big ? Its like sometimes ill be walking down the street or something and its dark and my mind will be dont be scared its not like anything will happen to you lmao you live in a small safe town its ok what could happen? Except my brain answers the question and its like as extra as it could possibly be. It starts by simply imagining like the van behind me holds kidnappers or sth and then slowly morphs into sth really paranoid in which at the end ends up being some paranormal fucking monster taken from the deepest pits of hell. And in my mind im like i literally just imagined this shit it ain't real

To give an example of yesterday night im at my room and looking at the balcony door which is like full open and since the blinds are drawn but not fully leaving like 50cm at the end if that makes sense so if you look there its just a lot of darkness. Now i already HATE looking there at night. Like ill honest to god position sth so that i can't look at it accidentally from my peripheral view. It creeps me out. So despite the heat i decide to close most of the window leaving just enough room for my cat to come and go yeah? Anyways some time passes and my cat comes in my room and goes towards the window, getting the first half of her body out and the rest inside and starts hissing at nothing. For context we've had her since she was a baby and shes only hissed like five ten times in her life. So i freak out sue me. I get up and go(run) to my mothers room nearly in tears (my first fear was pretty reasonable, that it was a bug which is another thing I'm scared of but at least thats like more accepted by society) she is obv a bit concerned too and goes out at my balcony to check everything. Finds absolutely nothing so i have to go back to my room and fall asleep. I start spiralling. Its a bug. Then its a big bug. Then its someone. They smh are holding onto the blinds and not falling (and smh they also don't break idk how my mind works) and thats how my mom didn't see them they just climbed onto the wall and she didn't look up (no marauders jokes please) and then i saw like a flash of light outside. So my mind though it was a man taking pictures of me sleeping. And then i thought a normal person couldn't do all that and the image just started? Morphing? In my head and i couldn't stop thinking about it. What i ended up with was a slender tall man insect thingy with far too long lips and too wide of a smile that was also kinda a corpse. Yeah👍 normal stuff<3

So i kinda just spent like the next two hours laying on my bed completely covered in blankets despite the heat just trying not too move, close my eyes, or breathe too loud while simultaneously not wanting to either look or look away from the window and also trying to fall asleep. So that was fun yeah

I actually had to stop writing this somewhere in the middle and take a break because my mother left the house for a bit and even though like i wrote it pretty simply i still remembered it very vividly and i started getting paranoid. So yeahhhh

Ig that's all

Hi <3

Okay so not to quote an asshole terf here, but in a certain unnamed book that we both like fanfic of, someone says something about how when we're afraid of the dark, it's usually the unknown that we're afraid of.

And said terf writer may be an absolutely abhorrent person, but that quote has always stuck with me, because it makes the fear of the dark and shadows a lot more valid. Not that you have to be afraid, but that it's not childish to be afraid.

It's okay to be afraid of things you don't know, which is really what you're afraid of, right? If you knew for absolute sure that there was nothing there, the fear would go away! And even as an adult, I can say- most of my fears come from the unknown.

I've gotten to the point now where finding out the answers- even to what that creepy shadow in the dark is- helps. And it's okay if you're not there yet! But just know that you're not childish. I am an adult, and I still sleep with a nightlight <3

___

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 12

functioning anon, powerless anon (new), galaxy anon, unofficial anon (new), fanart anon (new)

functioning anon

hey cas. it's functioning anon.

thanks for taking the time out of your day to answer, it meant a lot to me and i appreciate it.

here's the ask: life is hard. i don't want to die, but life is so hard. and i feel so many confusing emotions - i want to give up and not do anything ever, because why do i even exist? i shouldn't, really. but then two minutes later im smiling and having the best time of my life.

and realistically i know my life is probably way harder than the average person's, but i still can't forgive myself for not measuring up. each night i come back home exhausted and unable to move, and i sleep for like 5 to 6 hours before going to school and repeating. and i chose this life, i love it, but i want to give up every single fucking second of it. and im only in middle school. a few months later ill be in high school and the workload will be even greater.

i hate my body and i hate how i look (im fine being a cis girl, but i want to look more masculine) and i hate my personality and i hate that who i show i am to other people isn't who i really am. only a one or two of my friends and my family actually have seen the real me, and no one except myself truly understands or knows me, and it's so frustating.

and despite your advice last time helping me out a bit, i still feel like im just floating through life, like its not actually me, just a ghost pretending. it's so so hard to enjoy myself, i find myself smiling a lot less often. not fake ones, those i do all the time, but real smiles.

i just want to have a normal life. i don't understand - i love my family and my friends, they're awesome. no one bullies me or troubles me in any way. i should be happy, but i'm not.

im probably just faking it.

sorry for the super long ask, you don't have to answer, i just wanted to vent.

Hi <3

you're not faking it, and you're definitely not the first person to feel this way <3 But you also deserve to be happy with your life, and to enjoy the life you live. Do you have any adults in your life you trust to tell you're feeling like this? I'm not a professional or a doctor, but some of the things you're saying make me think of how I felt when I was around your age and I was diagnosed with depression. Asking for help when you feel this way can a lot of times make a HUGE difference, because you can find ways to work on these emotions, and feel better, you know? You deserve to feel better.

Sending love!

___

powerless anon

Hey cas

I accidentally got into a really bad rabbit hole where I just saw so much anti trans and anti abortion stuff online and it makes me so sick.

It just makes me lose so much faith in humanity to see that stuff.

I’m very comfortably cisfem so I can’t fully understand obviously, what it’s like to be trans but I can still do my best to make people feel comfortable because at the very least, everyone deserves respect.

I accidentally saw a bunch of very right wing yt shorts about abortion and trans rights and I checked the comments and scrolled a fair way down and I couldn’t find a single comment against it.

it just makes me feel so powerless because there isn’t much and I can do and I’m still in high school.

I just really needed to vent

Hi!

yeah, there are a lot of gross people in the world. But the good news is you aren't completely powerless. You CAN call people out. Of course, keep your safety in mind, but if someone at your school or in your community says something bigoted, you can tell them that they're wrong. Even if you don't change their mind, you can be a signal to someone listening that they're not alone. Especially when it comes to anti-trans speech, since you are a cis person, when you call that shit out, you're showing trans people that we have cis allies fighting for us, and that means a lot <3 Like I said, make sure you're safe about it, but you do have a voice, and that's super important <3

___

galaxy anon (tw- SI)

Hi hon <3

I'm going to be so honest with you right now. These exams feel like the biggest thing in the world. They feel like a mountain that's impossible to climb, and I get that. I have been there. I have failed exams, I have made shitty choices that changed my life in bad ways, and I have sat where you are and wondered why any of it is worth it.

And what I'm going to say is cliche but I need you to know it's true: It's been ten years since then, and all of that has been solved now.

You're talking about a VERY permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even if you fail every single exam you take, I PROMISE you, there's a way out of that. It might be difficult, but there IS a way. I believe in you, I love you, and there are other solutions.

So I need you to talk to someone. If you're not ready to tell them this is how you're feeling, that's okay. Of course, I'd love for you to tell them everything, but I get why that's scary. At least tell someone you're overwhelmed. Sit with someone. Breathe. I promise you it will be okay, and you deserve to get past this.

Remember on my pinned post, there's a link to some crisis hotlines. But I know you can get through this, I know you can talk to someone. I believe in you, and I believe YOU can believe in you, too.

Update me, okay?

___

unofficial anon

Hey cas

I think pakistan just declared an /unofficial/ war on us (india) and I'm scared. I'm down south so I most probably won't be affected. But the prospect of it just disturbs me immensely.

Why do these things occur cas? Why do people want to kill other people? I'm told it's a religious war too, is this what god wanted?

I'm so sorry, hon <3 I can't imagine how scary that is. I googled it and it sounds like there's now a ceasefire?

As far as the religious component...that's hard for me to comment on, because I'm not religious, and I don't understand that part of it, you know? I don't know the history or the feelings there. But I have to believe that war was invented by humans, not God. War is flawed, just like humans are.

___

fanart anon

sometimes i can't believe how hateful some people in this fandom are! i saw some fanart and i was reading the comments, right? some people were speculating whether it was jegulus or jily and someone in the comments just mentioned that they thought it was jegulus. another person responded about how it was jily and began to be very rude to the person and say things such as 'i hate jegulus and jegulus fans are so dumb' and i just couldn't believe it. why can't we just try to get along and respect others opinions? first and foremost, they are FICTIONAL characters😭

Hi!

Yeah, it's frustrating. I try not to get involved because I think those people are just looking for someone to be angry at- there's people like that who ship jegulus as well. Find the positive parts of fandom and stay there.

[impatentpending]

Hi, it's Powerless Anon again! If I'm not wrong, Roman lived in an apartment before his grandfather was sent back?

Hey there!

and yes, you’re correct!

[impatentpending]

Hi! It’s me again, just wondering on what age does someone truly know that they don’t have an ability? -Powerless Anon

Hey there!

Abilities manifest/become apparent around puberty, so if you’re in the 16-17 range without one, it’s likely you’re Unabled

[impatentpending]

hi, this might seem really random, but I’m working on a powerless fanfic and I’m going to be asking a lot of random stuff 😅 for starters, what year is the story set and what is Arbor Price’s age? -Powerless Anon

!!! Oh my gosh, that’s so exciting!

It’s set in 2018, and Arbor Price is 38!