forcing into the closet anon (new), grounded anon, twin sister anon
forcing into the closet anon (new)
hi, sorry, i was hoping youd have some advice, i came out to my parents as a trans guy a few weeks ago and they're bassically forcing me back into the closet. I don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this
-✨
Hi!
I am so so sorry this is happening to you, my heart breaks for you. Can you give me a little more details? How are they forcing you into the closet? Are they hurting/threatening you? I'm just asking because I want to make sure to give you the most helpful advice possible.
I'm sending you love!
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grounded anon
hi! <3
as far as being asexual, I think he important thing to remember is to not try anything with your girlfriend unless you're comfortable. Make sure you're doing it for you, and because you want it. It's okay to be unsure right now, but don't push yourself into things you're not ready for. Attraction is so fucking complicated nd I can't tell you who you're attracted to, but I can tell you that you ALWAYS have the power to say no.
And your brother...um, wtf? Do you parents know? Are they going to do anything? Your safety is important and if they aren't doing anything then that's neglect. I'm so sorry you're being treated this way <3
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twin sister anon
oh my god, you've had the week from hell! I am so so sorry that you've dealt with all this. I'm also so incredibly proud of you for reaching out to your friends when you needed help.
That's the thing- talking about all of these traumas and feelings is going to be the biggest help, you know? I can see why maybe you might not want to go to a therapist, but talking to your friends or other trusted people is so fucking important. I want to remind you that you're always welcome to vent in my inbox, and I'm so proud of you for reaching out <3
aroace kiss anon (new), practical ai anon (new), grounded anon
aroace kiss anon (new)
hello!! this may be a little odd but like do you think it'd be okay to make out with someone if i'm aroace? i had one girlfriend when i was 11 and we did stuff but i've never actually been kissed except for tiny kisses with my best friend. since my first girlfriend which was like many many years ago i've obviously realised thats not really my scene. (redacted)
i'm in a pretty big group now and it means lots of parties and meeting new people. no guys have ever really been into me except older guys who i quickly shut down and as someone who is masc and likes presenting as queer i'd really like to kiss a guy. not dating, just making out. i dont want to hurt anyone by not being attracted to them, i just want human connection and any experience and as bad as this sounds i want to know someone can be attracted to me.
is it bad if i makeout with someone i dont like just for the experience? i dont even know who i'd do it with tbh.
Hi! I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all, as long as you're not deceptive about your intentions. Like obviously there should NEVER be any expectation for more when you do something with anyone, right? But at the same time, if someone who clearly has a crush on you asks you out or initiates something, that might not be the person to kiss, because it could lead to hurt feelings. Instead, you could try just kissing someone at a party where it's clearly just for fun or kissing a friend where you've communicated beforehand that it's for fun. Just make sure you're safe and don't go somewhere with a stranger to kiss them! But yeah, plenty of people like to make out just for fun, nothing wrong with that!
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practical ai anon (new)
cas sometimes i feel bad for having this opinion, but i don’t think ai is completely awful? i don’t support creators using ai to write or make art or whatever. on the other hand, sometimes ai can actually be pretty useful. some ais, not all, give pretty good information or sources especially for research or stuff which i haven’t been able to find even after hours of using search engines. i also use it sometimes to look over my answers or writing (i don’t use whatever it generates, but it has suggested corrections before that have actually helped). i don’t like the constant reliance on ai for everything, because that’s just like, a refusal to think for yourself because you’re lazy and need everything spoon fed to you, but it’s an effective thing to use if you use it right in my opinion. like if i can’t understand something or need study guides or want to be quizzed, ai is more helpful than whatever i find on google. so i mean i get the whole personal data thing (which is why i never use it with my main account) and the water wastage thing, but i don’t think ai can or should be rejected completely. as long as it doesn’t become a crutch instead of an assistant, ai is in a lot of ways, genuine scientific progress, and it’s more practical to utilize it instead of criticizing it.
Hi!
Yeah I think a lot of people share that opinion. I guess the worry is that there won't be enough research and training into how to use it right. Humans as a species tend to enjoy instant gratification so I think the majority of people won't take the time to use AI like you do, and that scares me, you know? But yeah, I can respect that opinion, definitely.
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grounded anon
Wow. Reading all of the things you said, it makes me happy to know that you have your girlfriend and her mom, because...wow. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that. I'm glad you're trying to make good decisions for yourself and I'm glad you have some supportive people in your life. I hope the summer at least goes fast and you're able to continue to get support with your gf and her mom! I'm sending you love and remember, you're strong! <3
So i don't really know how to explain stuff but here we are. So I go to stem school and I also live in one of the most rigours areas in the usa academics wise. My whole life I've been surrounded by all these smart people and I have always been the least smart in my group of friends. Like elementary I went to a choice school with a huge gifted program then I went to a rigours private middle school and now I'm literally at a stem academy. I'm not stupid by any means but I always have the lowest grades of all my friends and it's fine I'm used to the middle of the road psat scores, not making it in all the prestigious competitions, all the science fair, Evey single "important" thing our school awards and does. I spend so much of my time cheering on my fucking impressive friends. However the one thing I don't suck at is writing. I write a lotttttt and recently we had a speech contest and I spent literally 2 weeks straight working on mine and most of my friends did it super duper last minute and the 15 semi finalists came out today and 3 of my friends didn't make it (close friend group of five) but I knew one of them was gonna take it hard because that's the type of person she is. But here's the thing I just can't even talk about my speech atp she runs away if I talk about it and I feel really really bad genuinely but I'm just I'm sad. I just I want to be proud of this one thing I don't absolutely suck at but I can't even bring it up and it's fine I understand why she's upset I just I'm always the one cheering her on and I guess I wish I could celebrate inside of comfort her but that is probably selfish
Hi! I don't think this is selfish at all! I think you deserve to be recognized for your accomplishments and talents, especially if you have been cheering on your friends for so long. Like-friendships shouldn't be about keeping score but also you SHOULD be able to rely on your friends. Your friend is allowed to feel sad that she's not a finalist while still being happy for you and I think that's where she's in the wrong. Just like you can be sad if you don't win the science fair while still being happy for a friend who wins.
I think you'd be within your rights to say something. I'm not sure if it would help (it depends on what type of person your friend is) but it might make you feel better to share your emotions. Just make sure that you don't come off as accusatory. Simply say how you feel. You can your friend that she absolutely can be sad but it's not fair that she's not supporting you...because it's not fair!
Congratulations on being a finalist!
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healthy disagreement anon (new)
What does it mean when people say “all good friendships/relationships have arguments”? Whenever I happen to have an argument with my family, it’s because they don’t think I should be sad about anything and yell at me. Whenever I have an argument with my friends it’s about me gently bringing up “hey I feel left out a lot of the time” and being accused of manipulation, and then they continue to bring up how “toxic” I am when I’m upset. Other argument with friends are just me telling them about how they hurt me, like “hey when you said it’s my fault and I deserve to be ignored by our entire friend group that felt very hurtful, especially since you also vent to me about that specific friendship group. I am not okay with this” and them saying that I’m being toxic, and saying I “snapped for so reason”, and then continuing to bring up how I “snapped for no reason” and am “very mean randomly”, and they ignore everything I tried to tell them when they hurt me.
My newer/other friends (the ones I’ve made after distancing myself from the people mentioned before) I have are people I get a long really well with, and they quite literally never do anything that hurts my feelings, and I (think) I haven’t done anything to hurt them either… I can’t imagine being mildly irritated with them, let alone upset. So now I don’t really understand when people say everyone eventually argues with each other :(
In middle school all my friends hit me/were really cruel. Now the friends I mentioned in the first paragraph above are acting like the people who would hurt me. And now the newer friends are great and kind, but I don’t know what it means to have healthy disagreements
sorry if this makes no sense :( I just woke up
Hi! I'm so sorry that you're being treated like this-you don't deserve it.
I think healthy disagreements come when you feel comfortable and secure enough with a person to express your frustrations and different opinions with that person without being afraid they're going to leave or hurt you. Like with my wife, I feel comfortable telling her when she makes me annoyed or hurts me because I know she's not going to leave me because of my emotions. I feel comfortable sharing how I feel and what I need, even if it's something she disagrees with.
Unhealthy disagreements are when people turn arguments into personal attacks, into a competition to see who can hurt each other more (physically or emotionally). It's when people start threatening, giving ultimatums, or bringing up old things and triggers. You're no longer trying to solve a problem, you're creating more problems.
I think people say arguments are good because you don't want to be in a friendship or relationship where you can't bring up things that upset you. That leads to resentment, you know? But the argument needs to be healthy or it can just lead to trauma.
I hope this helps a little! <3
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galaxy anon
Hi Cas, it's galaxy anon!
SO much has happened since I last updated you, oh my god. So, as it turns out, he only went on one date with his ex, and I guess he decided that he didn't want to get back with her.
I had a week off school because I was ill, and on the Friday night, I got a text from one of my friends (who I'll call H) saying that she had something important to tell me and that she needed to call me ASAP.
We called, and she told me that one of my other friends, L, got into a talking stage with my ex while I was off school, and she wanted to wait until I came back so that she could ask if it was okay for her to go on a date with him. H said that she just wanted to make sure I knew so that it wouldn't be a huge shock when L asked me in person, which was incredibly sweet of her.
When I returned to school on Monday, I had a meeting with my teacher in the morning, so when she asked t talk to me, I said I needed to go and we could talk when she got back. Unfortunately, she insisted on walking me there so that we could talk. She told me what happened and asked if it was okay. I had a whole answer planned, but the walk was too short for me to be able to say everything I wanted to, so I ended up just saying that if it made her happy, I was fine with them dating as long as I didn't have to see him because I didn't want to talk to him, and she agreed.
But, yeah, it feels a bit weird to see them together, especially because they've only been going out for like a week and they're already hanging out everyday and posting each other an their Instagram stories, and we never did any of those things even after dating for a month. I don't know if I was just a bad girlfriend or too busy or he didn't love me as much as he likes her, but it just kinda sucks.
Anyway, I'm glad you're doing okay after the storm, and I hope you ieve a nice day!
Hi!
Ugh that's so hard. It was so nice of you to be cool about your friend dating your ex, and like...I get why you did. You don't own either of them and the drama is crazy either way. But also I get why it's awkward and hurtful for you.
Please, please try not to compare yourself to her. Your relationship with your ex and her relationship with him are two completely different things with SO many other factors than just his feelings for the two of you. You don't know what happens between the two of them behind closed doors, and it's not going to do you any good to compare yourself to her.
It's hard because like...it wouldn't be the move to change your mind. But you also might want to spend some time with other friends who aren't involved in this, just so you're not in the middle of it all the time, until things settle down. <3
Keep me updated if you want!
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grounded anon
i got my phone back after the arkansas trip??? like hwat??? im literally listening to music on it right now?? and i also have an amazing girlfriend??? who is also my bestfriend??? and its going great because nothing changed except we kiss?? and everything is going right??
i personally hate when everything is going right especially after a period of just hell because then i get suspicious
also i forget how homophobic people are here. My and gf were just minding our business in pe and it was a free day so i was resting my head in her lap (mind you this is a regular thing we do, we've been doing it long before we were dating) and these two girls who literally CHOOSE to sit beside us were like staring at us so i was like 'stop staring at us, weirdos' and the girl was like 'well it just makes ME really uncomfortable when you guys are like laying all over eachoter! so i said 'then stop staring, look away, move, idgaf just leave us alone' and they went on a whole schpiel before finally moving. its not like we were shoving our tongues down eachothers thorat??? we were just chilling and talking about books???
anyway probably not going to do many asks, this upcoming month we have an entire months worth of standardized testing plus easter, so religion and all that shit will be coming to bite my ass.
otherwise im doing great :D
-(UN) grounded anon
Yay, congrats on not being grounded!!! and omg things with your girlfriend sound awesome!! I'm sorry about the homophobes, that's really fucking annoying, but it sounds like you handled it super well-I'm proud of you.
I hope your tests go okay, and I'm happy to hear you're doing well!
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alone anon (new)
Hey cas, my family always treat me like im not there and when i am im just there to be snarky and like the generic angsty teen. And its gotten to the point where my brother can litro get out of anything and im stuck doing the things hes gotten out of. Its like i have to be perfect just so they notice me if you know what i mean. And its just too much. Everything i relied on it throwing me away to the point where i sit in my room feeling ill and alone.
Hi hon <3
I am so sorry, this is absolutely the worst feeling and I can relate a lot. I'm curious, what happens if you try to tell your family how you feel? How do they react? Do you have any family members that do give you attention and love?
i was joking that she hadn't kissed me all day and she was like 'i can't tell if your joking or not because i actually want to kiss you' and i was like 'idk' and she said 'do you want to?' and then we kissed
we kissed again before i left her house ('one more kiss for the road?')
it was nice
anyway its spring break once more. I was dreading it, but then i had two weeks worth of exams and suddenly i couldn't wait for spring break
we're going to arkansas on friday for our spring break trip, which is fun
thats all, just needed to gay panic for a moment. we still aren't dating, but we were cuddling on her bed while watching heathers the musical (2014 version, obvi) on her ceiling via projector. her sister joked about shipping us since she walked in on us multiple times just glued together. i think she does like me back, but whether ill do anything about it is the real question.
ignore me popping in every month, things have just been calmer lately
thanks for responding,
-grounded anon
update: we texted about it and she does in fact like me and now we're dating. The pining worked out
im so happy
-grounded anon
Ahhhh I’m so happy for you!
You two sounds so adorable and I’m so glad it worked out. I hope you have so much fun on your spring break trip!
Keep me updated if you want, I’d love to hear about how dating goes!
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Reef shark anon
Hi!
I’m so glad things went well! It sucks that they struggled at the beginning but it sounds like you had great doctors and I’m so happy you’re okay now!
Sending you healing vibes!
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16 18 20 anon cw- implied abuse
Hi hon!
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so awful about this and I know that it’s hard to not be hard on yourself but PLEASE remember that you were NOT the adult in this situation. You expect yourself to know better or be better but you are a child! What about him??? You are not the person who did wrong or made a mistake, that is completely on him. He took advantage, its that simple. You did NOTHING wrong here.
I’m having such a weird day today, like emotionally, and I have no clue why
I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed? I didn’t do any homework today since it’s Saturday and the thought of it just felt impossible, so i just did nothing after I went to training (and I also had a weird/bad time during karate. I felt so dysphoric and I really hated myself, but I have no idea why) and I feel all guilty and alone.
I’m thinking it’s probably the weather, since there’s a blizzard coming and so the sky’s all grey and stuff, and I think mentally whenever there’s unfortunate weather, my “feel happy” brain chemicals just shut off, and my brain just really wants to feel safe and cozy,
But all the cozy places are like, the library, or my favorite bookstore, etc., which i cant just go to since there’s a storm, so now i feel stuck and restless in my house. I just want agency I guess. I want to be able to choose who im stuck with, but I can’t, and i feel really trapped in my house right now :(
and it’s making me dissociate too. None of the things I’ve tried (writing, stretching, cooking, journaling, etc.) make me feel less alone and afraid. It’s to the level that like, every word that I say or write I can barely keep in my head, and I don’t know if anything I say makes any sense. It’s like everything just dissapears as soon as i think about it,
I just hope the weather’s less miserable soon :( thank you for reading my ramble
—midnights anon
Hi!
I'm so sorry youre having such a hard time rn. Feelings like this can definitely be made worse because of the weather, but it doesn't make them any less awful. I totally understand feeling restless and trapped- it sucks! Are there things at home you can do to take care of yourself? Maybe have some hot chocolate or take a warm shower?
I hope the weather gets better for you soon, but until then remember that it's okay to be gentle with yourself <3
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grounded anon
it was my birthday on the 16th, yippee
so uh, no chance of getting my phone back. my mom said that i was an asshole and a jerk when i had my phone so that sucks.
but to the main point you remember the whole bestfriend thing??? Its getting??? Worse???
so i got a haircut (which i look GREAT in btw) and my bsf loves it. She constantly plays with my hair and shit. So one day we're in gym getting our shit packed together and she says, completely serious 'this is what ovulating feels like' and its like excuse me??? Kiss me already??? and shes been doing this thing to where whenever i shake my head its like she melts and i genuinely can't tell if she genuinely like likes me or not. Also today i was at my friends bday party and she was there and we were all laying on my friends bed and she had her arm around me and she kissed me on the forehead and before that we were like sitting on eachothers lapsl
but also idk if i want to date her, yknow? Imo, dating in school is dumb because its not ever going to go anywhere, right? and also i don't want to ruin the friendship because shes literally the bestfriend ive ever had and were planning to go to college together and share a dorm and after that still live together and we've joked about getting married but idk. Idk anymore.
On to sadder topics, yeah no my mom is still being an ass. She's just constantly calling me a jerk and stuff and says i can't be reasonable because im a teenager. Idk, it sucks. I miss my phone
also with stranger things, HOLY QUEERBAIT????? that was some bullshit
ik i haven't done this in a bit, but idk. Being at school helps a bunch with the mental stuff. Thanks for responding to these
-grounded anon
Hi!
I'm sorry things are so rough with your mom right now. I feel like relationships with parents can be SO awful during teenage years and it's like...that's when you need parents the most! It sucks to hear that so many teenagers go through that.
With your friend...remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do! You both are in control of what happens! I think, whatever you decide, the important thing is to communicate with each other. Hurt and broken relationships are usually caused by a lack of communication, so being honest is key.
I'm glad school is helping with your mental health though! I think a lot of people thrive with routine.
Sending love!
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androgyne anon
i feel the same way i did when i wrote the ask you answered on 14th august. i feel so disconnected from the very concept of gender atp like i don’t even think about it. but i saw someone once say that their gender identity is weird but it’s also connected to the fact that they’re a black woman? i get it in the way that i’m a poc woman, and that is perhaps the most integral part of my identity alongside being queer? i feel like that sort of messes with my whole conception of my gender because i can’t imagine not being a poc woman because that is who i am, but it has nothing to do with being a woman in general? i’m having imposter syndrome again about being anything other than a girl again but i’m almost definitely not a girl like idek atp. like okay it’s not like not a girl but idk i don’t think i’m genderfluid? almost everyone who is genderfluid that i know is always talking about their confusion about how they get gender envy from both and like being pulled by both sides so they’re on a spectrum but while i do get gender envy it’s not necessarily a spectrum feeling? okay i’m pretty bad at explaining it clearly but it’s like their spectrum is this long thing and mine is like way shorter if the center of the spectrum is gender neutral/non binary. so i think i might just go with genderqueer or non binary because that might just be a better representation of how i feel and it feels less like imposter syndrome if that makes sense?
Hi! I think what you're saying makes a lot of sense, and you should remember that everyone's gender and experience with gender is unique. You are allowed to have a different take on the term 'genderfluid' than someone else, and that doesn't make it less valid.
But what you said about both feeling like a poc woman and not, I get that, to an extent. I am not a poc, but I am afab, and like...when you are raised as a woman, I think you always identify with the social struggles and joys of being a woman. Like the being treated differently, the worries, the unique things that women experience. I would imagine that being a poc woman adds to those unique experiences. So even though you might not identify as a woman, you were (and might still be) treated like one, and so you can identify with those struggles and experiences. It's odd to think about, but it makes sense, at least to me!
I know figuring this all out is confusing, but remember the important part is that you are true to you, whatever that means!
grounded anon, dilemma anon, new bank account anon (new), longfic anon (new)
grounded anon
hey
its your girl again
i hate hiding myself. Idk maybe im just tired but whtv. I just made myself a (fake) pinterest account with jesus and shit on it and its like fuck man do i even believe in this? Anyway bsf situation: we joke (idk if its a joke anymore) about marrying eachother. We talk about moving in after graduating, say were going to kiss eachother constantly. I also say "do you have anything you want to say" as in 'do you have a crush on me hahaha' and she'll just like side eye me and i say it as a joke so maybe shes just playing along but idk fuck dude im so excited to turn 18 and leave this bumfuck small town. I don't want to be here anymore! I don't want to be in a place where the bully people for being gay so much they have to move! And it doesn't stop! Even if it gets reported! This didn't happen to me, but to a friend of mine.
I don't think I want to be catholic anymore. Don't know if i even want to follow any religion. It doesn't bring me comfort, and thus far it has only brung me heartache. Hope your doing well, thanks for responding
-grounded anon
Hi hon <3
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It absolutely sucks to feel stuck like this. It's so claustrophobic and lonely. I know that someday you'll have more freedom, but until then, it's so awful.
Try to remind yourself that it's not forever. And as far as religion...it's completely up to you and your comfort, but you should know that there are churches and religions that don't hold that guilt. I know you'll find that support someday, whether or not it's within a religion! <3
I'm sending you so much love!
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dilemma anon
hi! it’s dilemma anon with another dilemma. the previous dilemma is solved. anyway, I’ve been getting a lot of comments about my weight. keep in mind, I weigh at most 130 pounds and that is stretching it because I haven’t weighed myself in a while. I’m 5’1 by the way, and a quick google search has told me that I’m not overweight. at all. but my parents keep mentioning how I used to be skinny (I probably gained like five pounds in three years) at the beginning of last year. I’ve never been super skinny, and I’ve never been overweight either. the fact that my friend, who definitely weighs less than me, started saying things about how she NEEDED to exercise or else all her fat wouldn’t get toned and turn into muscle definitely didn’t help. I’ve never been super concerned about my weight until now. so uh yeah
Hi!
Okay well I'm not a doctor but you are NOT overweight. First of all, I think society puts way too much pressure on the number on the scale. You need to ask your doctor about things like blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc. If those numbers are good, then you are healthy, no matter what number you see when you weigh yourself! Second of all as you become an adult, your body is going to naturally change. Depending on your gender assigned at birth, you'll develop hips, muscle mass, etc. It's unhealthy for any adult to be a stick- that's a child's body, not an adult!
I know it's hard, but try not to listen to what people who are not medical professionals say about your health. If your doctors say you are doing well, then you are fine <3 And I am so proud of you for questioning the way society thinks about weight, because it is so fucked up.
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new bank account anon (new)
so i am only 16 right and i was setting up my new bank account today and i was sitting on the couch next to dad and he was watching the cricket. anyway i had to fill out info ect. and give phone number, australian passport, email, ect. and then i was filling it out and it said citizenships. and i put australian and us because i have an american citizen. and then i got to the next slide and it fucked itself because it wants me to register to pay american tax or something. i'm australain by the way. and its in an app and like you cant go back to the previous page or like get help or delete the account right ist like stuck. so i got mum and mum and dad lost their shit! bc technically im an american citizen but I wasn't meant to put that because then it reports you and you have to pay tax right, which i shouldnt have to do because im a minor and i'm earning like a hundred dollars a week. and mum is very very very mad. apparently you have to then get a tax accountant to file the tax return and its like 1.5 grand minimum and its super complicate and a lot of hassle. so theres no way to fix it. and technically its right so they wouldn't reset the account. maybe we can open an account with a new bank but everyone else in my family is on one bank and it will fuck things up. anyway i didn't know and im in a lot of trouble because i should have asked for help but i didn't realise it was that big of a deal, i was just filling things out! and i feel so so so so guilty, and i cant deal, and i cant breathe, and its like midnight and i know theres nothing i can do about it but i just feel so bad.
anyway im just really tired and i know its probably not that big of a deal but i am just so guilty and my parents are so mad and i just am not very good at dealing with stuff like this. like if something happens i just, the guilt overwhelms me and i cant even function. i think guilt is the strongest emotion i experience. i just needed to rant, and i really dont have anyone to talk to.
anyway hope you're doing well.
Hi!
I'm so sorry this happened, it sounds so frustrating! US taxes are awful and confusing and everyone here hates them too. I really don't think you should feel guilty though...nobody warned you about this and you didn't do it on purpose. You made a mistake, and that happens sometimes! Nobody got injured or died, so it WILL be okay.
That being said. I am not an accountant and I don't know Australian laws, but I've had to do my own taxes in the US for many years now, and I just have a few things to think about:
Taxes usually don't have to be reported in locations in the US you don't live in. For example, I don't live in Texas, so I don't file taxes in Texas. Meaning: if you don't live in the US, you might not have to report your taxes there?
Very few people in the US actually hire accountants. Many people use websites like Turbotax and H and R Block. They can still cost money, but not nearly as much as hiring an accountant. I'd look into that!
Google says that even if you DO have to file, the US government has exemptions for 'foreign residents' as long as you make under $120000 a year and live outside of the US for 330 days a year.
I hope this helps a little!
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longfic anon
hey cas!!! Hope you're doing well!! I've started writing a longfic that I've wanted to for a long time, but life as per usual got in the way and I...haven't written or wanted to update it for along time, and I just don't feel like its going anywhere? I don't know if I should just let it go, cuz I feel guilty about that? I have no clue what to do.
Hi!
I think it's important to remember that writing fanfic is supposed to be fun! You absolutely do not have to do anything you don't want to do, and you have no obligation to anyone! You could abandon the fic, put it on hiatus, leave it as-is, or delete it....whatever feels right to you. This is YOUR writing, not anyone else's, and you shouldn't feel pressured at all.
My only advice is, if you decide to delete it, have a backup copy somewhere in case you ever decide to go back to it. <3
grounded anon, feeling guilty anon, longing looks anon, midnights non, word vomit anon (new)
grounded anon
Wow, I am so incredibly sorry about everything that happened to you. It breaks my heart that you had to go through all of that, and that your parents chose to act that way when your school called them. I want to remind you that you deserve so much better and you WILL get better someday.
I am so glad that your teacher and your friend are there to give you some support. I know it’s not the same as having a supportive family, but it makes me feel a little better knowing that you have an adult that cares about you and a friend to talk to. I’m sending you love!
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feeling guilty anon
hey. guilty anon again. they want me to fix it, and part of me really does. but part of me is exhausted. i dunno. i dunno what to do
Hi hon!
Honestly I don’t think you have anything to fix, I think you did the right thing. But even if you DID have something to fix, I don’t think there’s any way to do that, right? What, exactly, is your friend asking you to do to fix this?
Like…you did what you did out of love and concern. What is there to apologize for? How can you change that?
The focus is keeping your friend safe, and you did that <3
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longing looks anon
Hi hon!
First of all, you are NOT an idiot, and I definitely don’t think you’re the only one who feels this way. I think it’s really hard to make meaningful connections with people, especially as we get older and have more things on our plate and more baggage that we carry.
My general advice for making connections is to first start in places where you know you’ll have mutual interests. Like…don’t seek out people in the grocery store. If you like dancing, take a dance class, and look for people there. That way, you’re guaranteed to have one thing in common.
Then, ask people questions about themselves. Figure out what they like, what they dislike, what they struggle with. And, when appropriate, make connections to you! Especially with struggles. Like obviously don’t ask someone to explain their deepest trauma, but if you ask someone about their family and they say their dad’s an asshole and YOUR dad is an asshole (just an example) then BOOM instant connection. Don’t lie, of course, but yeah.
Also, don’t force connection. Don’t waste your time on people who you just don’t mix with. It’s not personal when that happens- people just don’t mix with everyone and that’s okay!
But remember you are a good person and you will find your people. I promise <3
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midnights anon
AHHHH this ask made me so happy!
This shows that even when things aren’t perfect, they can be better, you know? I’m seeing that you have support and you’re setting boundaries for yourself which is HUGE! This is such great self-care and omg I smiled so big when you said you have a supportive adult- yay, supportive adults! You deserve to have support and boundaries, and it makes me so happy to hear this <3
My inbox is always here but I’m glad that things are better right now <3
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word vomit anon
Hi Cas! Uh.....HOW TO TELL IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE? I keep penning down these weirdly could be interpreted romantically scenes in my diary, can't keep her out of my conversations with other people, am reminded of her almost all the time through mostly everything I experience and sometimes daydream about her carding her fingers through my hair and being married to her, and also burst with love for her (although it has happened only one time when I smiled so hard I didn't want her to see too much in my eyes so I looked away) but on the other hand my heart only sometimes beats fast around her and I can't imagine craving her in the way media portrays it (although that could be because I'm ace) and IDK whether what I'm feeling is normal for people to feel about their close friend or what and it's driving me crazy and I don't want to ruin our friendship over something that might not be real. But then again I also did pull away from her for a short while because I felt like a creep and I just don't know at this point
Sorry for the word vomit
Hi!
Okay so here’s the thing: there’s no one way to like someone. Like I feel like the media tends to portray love and crushes as something very crazy and passionate and physical and whirlwind. And that’s certainly ONE way. But there are so many other ways to have feelings for someone! This can be a good thing because (as long as things are consensual) there’s not really a normal way to like someone, right? Like I feel like we’ve been told “oh, you have to be normal”...nope. Everyone has different feelings and that’s valid! But it can also be confusing because two people can have feelings that are a little different and they can still count as ‘romantic.’
Here’s the thing, though: you don’t have to figure out your feelings right away. You can just…feel them. Enjoy spending time with this person and don’t push yourself to figure things out right now. If, down the road, you decide you want to do something about how you feel- great! If not- that’s cool too! Either way, your feelings are valid <3
My hairs been rebraided for scalp tension and stuff, so my hair is definitely showing signs of growth! And I’ve been wearing bandannas on my braids since I think it looks cool (an idea I borrowed from my friend. I kinda wanna tell her she’s helped with my dysphoria a lot, but she doesn’t even know I’m non binary and I also cried in front of her one time so that means I’ve been too vulnerable and should wait before talking about anything heartfelt and stuff for at least a year. Actually, that sounds like a coping mechanism for something. Not sure what. Anyways—)
My mom is considering letting me color my hair!! Semi permanently! She still hates the idea of “unnatural colors” but she’s fine with me mixing Henna and, Green Tea, and Lemonjuice, which is a natural lightener. I really just wanted some brown highlights anyways, so a win is a win!
And thank you for reading about my rambles and frustrations. You’re awesome. Thank you so much.
Byeeeee
Yay this is all such good news! And what you said about not being vulnerable again for a year- so real and relatable. But maybe something to look into lol.
I'm so glad you've found a way to help your dysphoria and that your mom is letting you color your hair! It sounds like things are really looking up! If you think of it, lmk how it goes with the lightener!
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mirrorball anon
Long time no see
Basically I left all the toxic people behind. Don’t really have many people left though. Like, maybe four? When there used to be 20+ I guess that’s a good thing, right? The toxic people are gone?
Why do I miss them
They were all abhorrent to me, they treated me like gum under their shoe
I think I miss feeling loved, in whatever horrible way they might’ve loved me
Oh, not to mention someone I really shouldn’t have feelings for because they don’t feel the same but the feelings haven’t gone away so I’ll just suffer in silence because I care about them too much to just leave
Okay I think that’s all
I am getting better
It’s still hard though
-🪩
You said exactly what I was going to say, before I said it! You miss the love.
The thing about toxic people is that they bring you on rollercoaster rides. The ups are great, because they HAVE to be, in order for you to stick out the downs. And somehow, when you leave, you only remember the ups. The love, the happy times, etc. But you have to remind yourself- the downs were AWFUL and not worth the ups.
Four wonderful people are so much better than 20 toxic people. Trust me <3
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grounded anon
Heyy
All positive things today
So vodka cranberry like stabbed me ouch
Anyway uhm gay panic if the day. So I was messaging my friend and I typed out 'i wish I could kiss you' and I wasn't going to actually send it but I accidentally did and when I tell you my stomach dropped to the floor. I just out after it was a joke but fuck i thought I had revealed myself.
Anyway there is a smaller chance I could be getting my stuff back. I was sewing a bag today and my mom was like "you know, youre different than you were a month ago. You hang out with your family more, you actually have a personality, you're gafinf in your hobbies (etc) I'm proud of you" and I just nodded because what was I supposed to say
I'm going to alaska on Sunday so I'm kinda nervous about that but otherwise
Did vodka cranberry destroy you too?!? I was like pressing my hands to my temples with how excited I was (don't question it)
-grounded anon
um YES it destroyed me. COMPLETELY
also don't leave me hanging, what did your friend SAY???
I hope Alaska goes well! If you think about it, let me know how it goes! I'm glad things with your mom are good right now.
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Clutches anon - TW- DV
Oh shit. Okay, I definitely take back what I said. I'm so sorry, that was shit of me to make assumptions
Are the authorities helpful at all? This definitely qualifies as an unsafe situation for BOTH of them, what with her threats. It definitely would be tricky, since he's a man (the police tend to believe the woman) but he should start collecting proof so he can press charges and get a restraining order. Honestly, his best bet might be to call the police next time she makes one of those threats you mentioned. If he's calling on her for her own safety, they'd be more likely to believe him. (I have a bit of experience in this area and...yeah...that route is more likely to be believed. DM me if you want more details.)
I'm so sorry this is happening to both of you. Domestic violence is awful.
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@teasiswriter
Hello! How are you?
Luckily I didn’t have to do 24 hours of babysitting! The person found a different babysitter and so I guess I was worried for nothing? I feel a little silly honestly for being upset/worried. Is it really that big a deal if it never ended up happening?
Also I got to go to a musical my friend invited me to instead! I was meant to go on Wednesday but there were no more rush tickets so i went today (Friday) instead.
IT WAS AMAZING!! I now remember how much I love musicals, and shows, and theater, etc.! And my friend who took me KNEW THE CAST (the whole cast was 2 people total) and so they talked to them while I stood. Star-struck. And only managed to repeat “You were awesome!! So good!!” Because, genuinely, my heart was BEATING with anxiety. They were SO COOL and my friends were SO COOL and they knew them, and I was just there being amazed at them all! Maybe one day I can be a cool person too!
I got to take photos with them too and they signed my brochure (although I’m too scared to look at them in my camera roll haha)
Thank you for listening to my rambling and frustrations about life and jobs and existing. You’re a wonderful listening ear <3
Hi! I'm glad it all worked out, but remember that your feelings are valid and not silly at all!
That sounds so fun, though! If it makes you feel any better, I would've reacted the same way lol. I'm glad you had such a good time!
