Too much information, and testing my sexuality
Be warned, this entry will be very TMI.
I’m home now. I really enjoyed staying at my grandmother’s house… I had some alone time and I had some granny time… and it was all fine and dandy.
You know what really sucks? Periods. Yeah I know I know, everyone hates their periods and all that shit and the totally Christian people are like “your period is the most natural thing on earth, you should be thankful for your opportunity to have children blah blah bla Christian bull crap”
Yeah well fuck you Christian people I don’t give a shit about children, and when I’m on my period I can’t fucking masturbate without blood getting everywhere and it’s nasty and I have long nails so blood will go under my nails and cuticles.
I haven’t masturbated in two whole days. Okay I sound like a person who masturbates all the time, it’s not true. Sometimes I masturbate every day and then there’ll be like a whole month where I don’t even look at myself. Don’t think me a freak, though you probably already do… I am you after all.
Maybe I should get a boyfriend, apparently boyfriends are pretty easy to come by these days. I mean when I was younger it would be one of the seven wonders of this earth if a guy should ever come over and talk to me. By this I mean I was the girl no guys would ever want to come near. But now… now guys are apparently lining up to drunk call me and tell me that we should go out, yes Smilesandsixpacks is drunk-calling me again.
I don’t really want a guy though (that’s a lie, I am about as horny as any horny male teenager out there) I would rather have a girlfriend… yes I have been pondering my sexuality these days. I can’t quite figure out what I am… am I bi? Or am I hetero with bi-curious tendencies ? am I making myself believe that I am bi just because it would cause a bit of a stir? Am I just wanting to be gay to rile people up and be a little special? I wanted to figure this out, so I went through one of the most precise tests in the world to test myself, am I gay or not!? I’m sure you’re dying to know the answer! I underwent the google images test.. first I looked at women and then I looked at guys. Now I know I already appreciate the male body.. but looking at the female body I tried imagining myself kissing her neck and lightly pulling up her shirt, so clearly I could see myself both with a man and a woman. I thought I needed to go further in my investigation so I went to look at pictures of genitalia of both the male kind and the female kind. And this is where things got interesting. I didn’t like the penis or the vagina apparently. I mean lesbian honest here… did you get that? instead of let’s be…. Hahahah get a life Anna. Okay serious Anna is back, sorry for the interruption. Okay so let’s be honest here the dick and balls aren’t exactly hot to look at.. all wrinkled and nasty-looking, I mean ew disgusting. It looks like a turtle’s neck where those nasty skin folds are… just no, fucking hell don’t get that thing close to my face I will slap you if you do. And the vagina looks like that octopus in that ‘pirates of the Caribbean’ move where in the end Jack jumps into it with a sword and it spays him with slime… I’m just saying, genitalia is fucking disgusting but also very magical at the same time. I mean how can something so disgusting give such magical pleasure? That’s awesome! Have you ever had one of those days where you just look at your own vagina (or dick, no judgment here bro) and you just realize that your own genitalia is just so fucking disgusting, I mean wow talk about an octopus mouth between my legs… oh wow we certainly went far my dear blog… how did I go from writing about crushes on teachers to talking about my vagina on the internet? :o I don’t know, but while we are on the topic of my vagina; I usually masturbate at night before bed time, just like how potheads smoke a blunt before bedtime, and you know if I had a really awesome orgasm the next day I will leak fluids like the self-lube kind of fluids… is that weird or is that totally normal? I’m guessing it’s normal. Okay back to sexuality. So I have realized that I do not get turned on by looking at the dick or the vagina.. but I might be more attracted to just the general idea of sex and the act itself and not the components that make the act possible i. e. the dick and the vagina. I get more attracted to the idea or mental image of me or two other people engaging in sexual activities, for example I find the idea of me going down on one of my girlfriends very… interesting… I find that I get truned on by looking at /imagining sexual activities where one or both of the involved (this is usually porn) are getting real rough and tough… I like dominance play… is this all wrong and weird? I mean there are whole porn categories dedicated to this so I would think this is very normal… this is a normal kink, right? I actually think it is… why else would so many people buy 50 Shades of Whatever? It’s nice to know that I am normal after all.. so I guess there will be no conclusion to the question thus far, I still don’t know if I am straight or bi… but I guess I’ll find out one day, right? I mean I was down on Anna2, but it wasn’t good at all… I got a beard burn and felt like throwing up all the while… but that might just have been the tequila.. so I don’t know… I also did have Mathhottie’s dick in my mouth, it could have also been that…. Fuck it, I don’t want to think about it right now, I’m signing out. Goodnight blog, oh and don’t tell anyone about my vagina, I haven’t talked to my friends about it… and that’s because none of my friends masturbate apparently… so yeah no one to talk to, damn… So fucking untrue, they’re just embarrassed about it. I mean there’s only two kinds of people in this world: people who masturbate and people who lie about not masturbating.