Dear Future Boyfriend – Press Play… On Life
So, at what age do men grow up??? Like when do they look at themselves in the mirror and say, I’m not getting any younger maybe I should make some changes. Or when do they survey all their married friends and think, maybe it’s time for me to start settling down. Bottom line is, what makes them click and realize they are getting wayyyy too old for this dating game? And, I’m not talking about “physically” getting older, although at a certain age, men do go from being the seasoned distinguished guy who have yet to meet their life partner to becoming the creepy old man in the club. And yes, age is relative… to some degree. However, I still draw the line when you and my father can swap stories from middle school. Call me shallow, but that’s a little outside my dating range sir. So, let me introduce you to my mother, or I got an aunty you might like. She too likes to do the hustle. But yes, a well-kept man who exercises 7 days a week, eats only a plant based organic diet, doesn’t partake in any alcohol and gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a night, even if he is 55, he will most likely look like a snack. A dry boring snack… like a Wheat Thin. Like you can eat it, but who is really sitting at home right now saying, ohhhh I wish I had a Wheat Thin. No one, unless they too are old and boring. Personally, I like dairy, wine and dancing so that regimen won’t work for me, even if you are 35 with the body of Michael B Jordan and swag of Idris Elba… who by the way has recently turned in his old man at the club card, because again who wants to be the old man at the club… But I digress.
I guess Future Boyfriend I’m wondering if you’re stuck in Limbo Land. It’s like you know the next move when it comes to dating, but you’re unable to make it. Maybe it’s because you possess the trifecta – You’re tall, handsome and have a great job. That’s a score for most women. Especially in La La Land where dating is like playing a hand of spades. You may get a two and a possible. Even if he’s tall and handsome he’s definitely sleeping on his friend’s couch while he working on his short and bussing tables at the Cheesecake Factory. Again, call me shallow, but I’ve already slummed it with a guy, sleeping with him on an air mattress while he figured out his life. That was so 10 years ago. Even I have to grow up. But Future Boyfriend, if you are out here floating in Limbo Land, aimlessly dating for pleasure not purpose, I promise you there is nothing but loneliness waiting at the end of that trail. See right now, you’re the king in these streets. You probably have 3 to 5 girls in rotation (I’m being generous and also hopeful you’re not a full fledge whore so that when we meet I don’t have the pleasure of seeing one of your past, limbo chicks EVERY time we go out. But don’t worry when I do I will handle it with grace and only question your choices in women when they are out of ear shot. Because I’m classy). Now these rotated girls are most likely pretty, smart and successful. These are girls of all age ranges. The younger girls you can be flaky with. Thanks to the social media they have a short attention span. You don’t have to invest a lot into them. They are your fun girls. Then you have your older women. These are women who have already played games and they are tired. They enjoy the conversation and laughs you offer. You enjoy the fact that they have given up on finding a good man so they accept you doing the bare minimum (ohhh so sad they need Iyanla to fix that life). Anyhow, you can dm these girls or hit them with WYD text messages and because of the light the shines bright from your trifecta they will answer and they will come. But like moths to flames and flies to crap the ending is always a disaster. Because men like you, Future Boyfriend don’t want easy. You enjoy a challenge. Your life is all about challenges that you’ve taken on and thrived at. Because trifectas are the best and they don’t stand for mediocrity. Even when it comes to dating. So, the choice is yours Future Boyfriend. You can waste your good years away in Limbo Land, but I promise you will regret it. Because I too am a trifecta and I don’t date old men in the clubs.
xo,
Mix
