I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Rory sat on Ryder's bed. Tonight, the cousins were having a sleep over. Sugar had been invited and she was willing to join them at first, however when Brittney asked the girl to join her for girl's night, Sugar decided to spend time with her teenage mom.
That was the thing about this whole time travel thing. Rory had watched enough Doctor Who reruns in both timelines to know that the time stream was hard pressed to change. For all he knew, he was destined to travel back in time with Sugar and Ryder and put into action the events that would eventually lead him to coming to the past in the first place and he was doomed to die in a time loop.
On the other hand, they could have screwed everything up so bad he was just a few years away from fading from existence. Over all, he was just tired of it all.
Here he was, sitting in his cousin's bed room, well it was a motel room actually, drinking cheap, watery hot chocolate, and listening to a recording of Shake It Out covered by New Direction. To the New Direction, the song had only been sung a year ago, but the recording had been a family favorite. Rory would always listen to it when he was feeling down, and after witnessing his parents - no, Blaine and Kurt - fighting, he needed a pick me up.
"So, want to tell me why you're upset?" Ryder asked him as he plopped down next to Rory, causing the bed to shift.
"Not really," Rory replied. He sipped at his cocoa and flipped through Ryder's ipod until he found a song he liked. Santana's voice started to drift through the room as the Trouble Tone's rendition of Stronger played. Rory smiled sadly.
"Would a spoonful of peanut butter help?" Ryder asked his younger cousin. "I know how you like peanut butter."
"I'm fine," Rory replied. "What about you? You can't be doing well living in a motel everyday."
They knew when they got to the past, that they would need a place to stay. Rory had been lucky enough to pass off as an exchange student. His fake accent did so well to fool everyone and he had the papers when he got here. After all, unlike Ryder and Sugar, he had planned to journey to the past. Sugar had only joined him by accident, hitching a ride in an attempt to stop him. She was lucky enough to have photographic memory when it came to age old lotto tickets. Ryder on the other hand had arrived a year later than Sugar and Rory and had no living arrangements. Well, unless you count his ability to make fake credit cards due to the teachings of Uncle Puck.
"You could go live with Hudsons," Rory suggested, trying to change the subject. Ryder shook his head.
"Nah, it would be weird. I mean Da - Finn is so much less mature than my Dad. I over heard him arguing with Sue and he said some things that my Dad would have rinsed my mouth out with soap for." Ryder chuckled. "And our grandparents? God, I don't know how you managed to sit back and watch Grampa walking around."
"I know. It's hard seeing him alive," Rory nodded. "Sometimes I just want to have him swing me in his arms like he used to do when we were babies."
"I miss him too," Ryder added as he laid down on the motel bed. Rory finished his drink and joined his cousin, the two of them just staring at the ceiling and listening to the recording of New Direction's best.
"I both hate and love my mom for making this for me," Ryder said as Rachel's voice belted out Love Song with Santana and Quinn. "God I miss her."
"They get back together though," Rory reassured him. "At Mr. Shue's wedding."
"Yeah, but it's not the same," Ryder told him. "I mean, listening to them sing together was great. I missed those days, but it's not like we can do anything about it until we find a way to go home."
"Yeah," Rory said. Home. Did he really wanna go back home. Back to a time where his parents wouldn't be there to greet him home from school. A time where Teenage Dream was no longer a song that filled his mornings to the point where he wished it would stop. Could he really go home to a place where he no longer got to see his parent's inappropriate PDA.
They silently listened to the recording of Love Song until it finally ended. A slow melodic tune soon started to drift through a room as a deep, yet light falsetto filled their ears. Ryder's eyes widened as the Kurt's voice started to sing to them. He reached to the ipod, but Rory stopped him.
"Rory?"
"Yeah I wanna tell you something
I think you'll understand.
When I say that something,
I wanna hold your hand,"
"Oh please, say to me, you'll let me be your hand," Rory sang softly, his voice just barely a whisper against his father's younger voice.
Ryder listened quietly to his cousin singing. They knew this song, all three versions. The first obviously had been the Beetle's version. His dad had found a liking to the band and had all their records. Then of course there was the currently version being played, the one a younger Kurt Hummel sang for Burt Hummel. And then there was the version no one was allowed to play around Rory. The one the lot of New Direction sang at Blaine and Kurt's funeral.
Hearing the cracks in Rory's voice, Ryder pulled his cousin into a one armed hug.
"Yeah you got that something,
I think you'll understand.
When I feel that something,
I wanna hold your hand.
I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand."
Father and son finished simultaneously and Ryder turned his ipod off as Rory shook with unshed tears. Ryder did his best to hush his cousin, to calm him down. It was still fresh in their minds.
"I miss them so much," Rory cried. "I was so stupid for coming here. I-I just wanted to see them alive again. But it's not the same."
"I know. I know."
"I'm so sorry, Ryder. Because of me, you're away from home too," Rory hiccuped. "You might never get to see your parents again. Or Harmony. And Sugar might never get to see her moms. And Sam, I never thought about what he might be going through right now."
"Shh," Ryder hushed gently. "It's ok, Rory. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok."
For the third time in his life, Ryder lulled a crying Rory to sleep. He made it a point that if they ever did get to go home, that they would find a way to prevent Kurt and Blaine from getting into that car.
