there is NOT enough future man content! allow @dollfacedalls and i to fix that :p these r some headcanons we came up with real quick. if there are typos, sorry guys lolz. its 3am and i just typed this up bc i felt like we needed some josh futturman content. enjoy the sweaty loser boyfriend vibes!
Bf!Futturman who tries to be flirty and sexy but is unsuccessful. You've been out all day, and you've just gotten home. The moment you walk through the door, Josh is in front of you in a pair of dinosaur boxers with a huge, cheesy smile. You know why, and you know what he's wanting. You can't help but grin like an idiot as you put your bags down, walking towards him to place your hands on his hips. Before you can do so, Josh attempts to lean against the coffee table in a sexy fashion. Of course, as expected, he loses his balance, his feet falling out from under you. He lets out a yelp as his elbow hits the coffee table, your eyes wide as you run to assist him. "Baby," you gasp as you kneel. "Are you okay?" you mumble as he repositions himself, now leaning on his hurt elbow on his side, the toothy grin back on his face. "Yeah.. fine now that you're here, sexy," he says, wiggling his eyebrows as you roll your eyes, hitting his shoulder.
Bf!Futturman who is so clingy that he misses you so much, making him even want to be you. You two live together, Josh finally having moved out of his childhood home to get an apartment with you. You were at work, and Josh was upset. He felt like his other half was missing. It wasn't fair that he was off and you weren't. So.. naturally, he did what any man who was missing his partner would do -- he tried on your clothes, sprayed himself in your perfume, listened to your favorite songs, and watched your favorite TV show. When you walked into your apartment to him sitting on the couch in your dress, the apparent scent of your cherry-scented perfume in the air, Dance Moms on the TV, you gasped. The moment his eyes locked with yours, Josh froze, his eyes wide, not really sure what to say. Your eyes darted to the empty bottle on the table; your lonely boyfriend had drained your expensive perfume. Josh's eyes followed yours to the bottle as he shot up, walking over to you with raised eyebrows. "I swear, baby, I- I'll buy you a new bottle," he awkwardly muttered, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile.
Bf!Futturman who wants an ugly cat with you. No, not just a cat, but an ugly one. He wanted to find the most hideous, rattiest, mangy-looking cat the two of you could find. At first, you were somewhat frustrated with how adamant he was about the situation. You would've been much happier with a fluffy kitten with pretty blue eyes and soft fur. But no, you loved your boyfriend so much you'd given in. Josh convinced you he wanted one because 'nobody wants the ugly ones.' He claimed it was an action from the goodness of his heart, an action to save a poor kitty. He never would've said it out loud, but the reality was he didn't think the name Barthalomeow fit a pretty kitten. You ended up with a fluffy cat with huge brown eyes bulging from its skull. Its bottom teeth hung out of its mouth, and its brown fur stuck up in every which way... Yeah... it was hideous for sure, but Bathalomeow loved you and his kitty dad so that you couldn't be too mad.
Bf!Futturman gets so sucked into his game that he doesn't notice anything around him. When you weren't around, and he wasn't working, Josh did NOTHING but play Biotic Wars. He'd be so sucked into the game for hours, going to disgusting extremes to avoid having to press pause. When you were home, though, he'd only dedicate an hour or two a day to the game. This usually didn't bother you, but one particular day, you were feeling incredibly desperate for his attention, his eyes locked onto his TV screen as his fingers moved stealthily across his keyboard. You felt like you'd attempted everything. At first, you just tried his name. No luck. Then, you tried tapping his shoulder. Barely flinched. Your next action was more severe, seeing if your words would stir anything in him. "Baby," you called out, your annoyance apparent. "Hm?" he hummed with a half-assed response. "I'm going to my other man's house in a few. Is that cool?" you said from behind him, sprawled out on the bed with your eyebrows raised, your eyes throwing daggers toward the back of his head. "Yeah, whatever, babe, I'll see you later," he mumbled quickly as a loud groan left your lips. "Jesus christ," you mumbled. "Gonna jump off of a bridge, Joshy," you sang out jokingly, to which Josh responded, "Okay, baby." It felt hopeless, that was, until you had an idea. You threw your shirt off, your bare chest exposed as you pranced over to him, standing in front of him. Josh glanced over at you for a moment, his eyes widening slightly as he reached his hand up to grasp your boob before looking back to his screen. "Mm, give me another hour," he hummed, his attention once again back on Future Man. Nope, didn't work. You'd revisit in an hour when you were his girlfriend again, and it wasn't his controller getting all of the hand action.
Bf!Futturman that attempts to cook for you. Josh could not cook. This was a given considering in order to cook, you had to have good coordination and be able to somewhat follow directions. Unless in video game form, it was difficult for Josh to do both. You didn't mind, enjoying making dinner and snacks for the two of you. It wasn't until one night Josh wanted to surprise you. He'd watched a YouTube video online on how to make a baked chicken with broccoli, mashed potatoes, along with a few other things. He didn't think twice about the difficulty, already feeling like a chef as he turned off his phone. He was soon proven very wrong, as about an hour later, you walked into the door to the smell of burning meat and smoke filling your kitchen. Josh stood in the center of it all, surrounded by far too many pans for him to be making such a simple dish, many of them filled with what looked like pure charcoal. He looked at you with sad eyes, a pout on his lips. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to make a mess. I really just wanted to do something nice for you like you do for me," he said softly as he walked over to you. You embraced him into your arms, pressing a kiss to his head. "Hey, 's okay baby, we can just order takeout," you giggled, deciding to turn the oven off and leave the mess for another time.
Bf!Futturman who has no filter and lacks an understanding of time and place. The two of you were inside an art museum. You pulled out your phone to snap a cute selfie. The moment he saw the camera, he pulled you close, stiffening his entire body as he stared into the camera with a blank expression. You snapped the picture, reviewing it afterward as your smile dropped. "Seriously, Josh?" you asked as you raised your eyebrows, showing him the photo where he looked both uninterested and terrified all at once. He snickered with amusement, his nose scrunching up. "God, people are going to think I kidnapped you," you muttered under your breath. He nudged you with his shoulder, raising his eyebrows up and down. "That's because you did!" he exclaimed as he pretended to yank out of your grip. People began to stare, and Josh just snickered as you smacked his shoulder. "Shut up, Futturman!" you gritted through your teeth, rolling your eyes. God, you loved him, but oh, how he pissed you off sometimes.
Summary: As Josh had the audacity to change the radio station, depriving Wolf of the legendary sounds of Corey Hart, things begin to escalate. Once the car gets out of control, it accidentally collides into you.
Word Count: 2.5k
Content: gender-neutral reader, fluff, based on “We Live in Time”, minor car crash, strange meet cute, cursing, takes place in Future Man S1E04 “A Fuel’s Errand”, Josh drives a car instead of the Lyft, awkward but cute
(A/n: first fluff in MONTHS!!!!!! Thank you guys for being patient with me and still being here <3 In theory I might make a second part with smut but who knows :) i haven’t watched the movie yet so no spoilers please! i love you all, happy reading!)
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“GUYS, FOR THE MILLIONTH FUCKING TIME, this is my dad’s car, so just be extra careful with it, okay?” Hushed Josh as he started the vehicle, setting the GPS to Lyle’s address.
As the trio found their TTD awfully low on Cameronium, Josh, Wolf, and Tiger went on a mission to obtain more. Hearing Tiger describe the biofuel, Josh was completely unable to identify it or its whereabouts. Luckily, he had connections; Josh knew that Tracy, one of the video game store clerks, had an ex-boyfriend, Lyle, who was some sort of chemist. Therefore, he could be a useful source to identify whatever the hell Cameronium was. Soon after retrieving the address, in which Josh had to expose his entire mission to the two unconvinced cashiers, the highly dysfunctional team would be on their way to find Lyle.
“You better not fuck this up again,” Tiger warns petulantly from the backseat (and very unhappy to be, at that), staring daggers at the back of Josh’s head.
“Oh, come on, Tiger, I’ve got us the address!” he reasoned tiredly, trying his absolute best to reinforce his dependability. “Because of me, we’re one step closer to getting our hands on Cameronium!”
Starting the engine, the radio turned on with it. The station was just in the middle of playing ‘Sunglasses at Night’ by Corey Hart, making Wolf’s eyebrows furrow in curiosity.
“What is this music, janitor?” He asks in a gruff voice as Josh drove out of his parking space, letting the GPS guide his way.
“Uhhh, this is Corey Hart,” Josh replies briefly, squinting from the California sun in his eyes, lowering the visor to give them shade.
Wolf continued to listen to the speakers admiringly. Finally something respectable in the year 2017 (which, ironically, was actually from 1983). “I like Corey Hart,” he says, prompting Josh to turn up the volume. He actually and genuinely likes something for once, he thought with relief.
And it was nice to see the previously apathetic sadist enjoy some tunes from the ‘80s, until he discovered the car’s replay button. The institute where Kyle was would be about half an hour away, and for the most part, Wolf had just been replaying the damn song every time it ended.
“Can we just—” Josh sighs as he reached for the skip button, his hand immediately being slapped away from Wolf.
“No.”
YOU WERE SO TOTALLY FUCKED.
Goddammit, did you have to sleep in this morning? This would be the hundredth damn time of the month you’d be late to work, and you couldn’t afford to show up tardy again.
You ran clumsily on the sidewalk, taking frequent sips of your coffee, which was stored safely in a stainless steel tumbler. You were making your way to your workplace as fast as you could, feeling as if your ankles could cramp up anytime. Your boss was quite brutal, and there was a slight chance you could even get fired from being late again, so you ensured that your journey there would be efficient.
After at least a minute of running, you were met with a damn intersection. In response to the light across the street that showed a big, orange palm, you smashed the crosswalk button multiple times and violently, expecting the light to change. And all you could hear was the robotic ‘wait, wait, wait’ every time you slammed it with your fist. God fucking dammit.
Well, actually…
There wasn’t much traffic at all in the intersection. Barely any cars, and even if there were, they would most certainly stop for you. You guessed it wouldn’t hurt if you made a run for it to the other side. Hell, people have done that shit before when you drove, and now it was time for you to cash in your right of way privileges. Would you rather be honked at by an angry driver or face the wrath of your unhinged boss?
Okay. Alright. Fuck this.
Letting your shoes drop from the sidewalk to the asphalt of the street, you began to walk, never once expecting what would happen next.
“Fuck, Wolf, let go of the wheel!” Josh exclaimed in terror as the vehicle skidded and squealed, moving dangerously fast down the narrow road.
“Not until you change it back!” Wolf retorts angrily after Josh had changed the station, tired of the soldier replaying the same damn song for several times in a row.
“Jesus Christ, I don’t even remember the fucking station! And I wouldn’t be able to tell which one it was since the next song is probably already—fuck!”
At the mere sight of you in the middle of the crosswalk, Josh slammed his foot on the brakes, causing a loud squeal from the tires. However, he wasn’t exactly fast enough because the car would collide into you before it would completely stop.
“HOLY FUCK—”
“OH, SHIT!”
***
PAIN WAS QUITE LITERALLY THE ONLY THING that you could feel. Like, everywhere in your entire body. That, and a really shitty migraine.
As you slowly woke up, you could feel an incredibly bright light against your closed eyelids, hearing a blaring, constant ringing in your ear. And when you gradually came to your senses, you could feel various bandages covering your body, wrapped snugly around your tender skin. And you were also…
in a chair.
Your eyes opened instantly. You were in a narrow hallway at a hospital, sat down in a goddamn chair. Some kind of transport chair with small wheels, at least. There was a row of normal chairs across from you. A person in that chair across from you. Also, your posture was literal ass. Why the fuck were you on a goddamn chair instead of an actual bed—
“Oh, shit—” Josh blurted as he realized you were awake, sitting up and fumbling with the objects around him.
You began to acknowledge the appearance of the stranger sitting in front of you, after hearing his sudden, muted curse. He was a young, boyish man, brunette, and there was an almost comical look of extreme fear in his eyes. He immediately sat up from slouching and tapping his foot the second he realized you were awake. Before the interruption, his phone had also been lazily held over his lap, the screen angled towards your line of vision. You quickly recognized that he was playing an online game of sudoku—struggling, as well. And at the moment, you couldn’t think about anything else except for the fact that he needed to place a seven beside that two.
He blinked at you, then noticed your face, whatever expression you had. Your face felt numb, but you presumed it instinctively reflected your internal thoughts, because he somehow read you right away.
“They, uh, they needed the bed back,” the man stuttered out, placing his phone back in his pocket.
Your eyes still scanned the white hallway, slightly turning your head to observe the many doctors and nurses rushing from one place to another. Then you looked back at the man in front of you again, curiously.
“I, uh,” he began once more, presenting a clear plastic bag in front of you. “This is what you had with you. Uh, your phone… which is… a bit cracked, actually. Damn. Uh, wallet. Oh, and uh,” he reached for a bigger item from the ground, holding it up, “a tumbler. Nice stickers, by the way.”
He was… painfully awkward, to say the very least, holy shit.
“U-uh, thanks,” you nodded, feeling your throat dry, as this was the first time you spoke ever since waking up. The man, seeing that you were in no condition to grab or even reach for your belongings in that plastic bag, set it on the empty chair to the left of him.
There was another pause, you hearing only the buzzing of the fluorescent lights above the two of you, alongside the swift footsteps or screechy wheels of gurneys at the end of the hall. You were unable to properly acknowledge anything at the moment because your mind was occupied with something entirely different. You had sensed an irritable thought lingering in your head until you instantly realized what it was.
“Seven,” you blurted out randomly.
“What?”
You cleared your throat. “Your sudoku. Seven should be under the two in the first column. That was your, uh, missing number.”
Josh immediately pulled his phone back out, opening his sudoku app. He tapped and typed in your suggestion before letting out a small gasp, either in surprise or relief. Both, actually, as the number you told him was correct.
“Oh,” he sighs.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, shit.”
You simply nodded.
“I’m, uh—I’m Josh, by the way,” he says, possessing a friendly smile on his face as he puts his phone away in his pocket for the second time.
Considering the very shitty position you were in, you appreciated his smile nonetheless and mimicked it.
“Y/n,” you answer softly. Josh smiled warmly and nodded at your response. That is, until you asked, “I, uh… Do I know you?”
His eyebrows raised with guilt, pupils looking anywhere but at you, until they mustered up the courage to at least glance at the tip of your nose.
“Oh, um… yeah, no, I uh…” he paused culpably. “I ran you over.”
Well, shit.
“Well, shit,” you mumbled.
And in this moment, you realized—pretty privilege really did exist in all possible scenarios.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s okay,” you reply, surprising him and even yourself. You normally wouldn’t let this slide, but you weren’t sure if it was the overwhelming lights, the morphine, or the guy’s stupidly charming face that drowned out any possible anger from you. Maybe it was just all of them combined. Anyways, you realized that this hospital visit would’ve given you a valid excuse to not only be late to work, but be a complete no-show. Hell, if anything, you felt grateful for this.
“So, um…” you began, “how did… I mean, did you not see me, or…?”
“Oh, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I… My passenger was acting out because I changed the radio station. He has, uh… issues.”
“Wow...” It could’ve been a drunk driver. The sun could’ve been in his face. Hell, he could’ve pulled a Lucy Whitmore and dropped a CD in the car, but you could’ve nearly died because of a goddamn radio station?
“I changed the station after he looped the hell out of the song,” Josh adds.
“Jesus Christ,” you huff in disbelief. “How—How old is this passenger of yours anyway?”
“Uh, right… About… About ten…” he sighs.
“Yeah, I mean, that makes sense—”
“…years older than me,” he finished. Dammit. This literally could not get any worse.
“Oh—”
“In theory,” he adds, making you raise an eyebrow in bemusement. Realistically, since Wolf was from 2162, he would be, like… more than a hundred years younger than Josh. Of course, he couldn’t explain that to you. Hell, he thought he seemed crazy to you already. He probably already lost his chances with another cute person. And no, he wasn’t hoping to charm you just to avoid a large, angry fine. You were genuinely quite pretty to him.
“Oh—” Inappropriately, you felt a smile begin to form on your lips as you started to giggle. “Oh my god, what? You’re kidding, that’s—” As you chuckled, you felt your weak, stiff body vibrate. And consequently, you felt a sudden, unpleasant stab in your chest, hissing from the pain.
“Shit, are you okay?” Josh asks instantly, looking into your eyes with pure concern.
“Oh, yeah, no, uh, it just… hurts like hell whenever I laugh,” you huffed.
Guilt washed over him once again like a violent, mortifying wave as he remembered how much injuries you suffered because of him. “Fuck, I am so, so sor—”
“No, no, don’t worry,” you whisper, “I just… God…” A big, humored sigh left your lips as you gazed softly into Josh’s eyes. “Okay, what—what song was he even listening to?”
“Funnily enough, it was, uh… ‘Sunglasses At Night’ by Corey Hart.”
“Oh my fucking god,” you scoff, trying to hold yourself from laughing as you felt the sharp pain coming back. “Jesus Christ, you’re kidding me, right? Why—Why would anyone in their thirties throw a tantrum over Corey Hart?”
“I know, this guy’s just…” Josh twirled his finger by his temple, signifying that his passenger was indeed “cuckoo”.
You scoffed in amusement by his gesture, and then the two of you were silent after. Just smiling at each other, gazes switching from the floor, to the walls, back to one another’s eyes. You enjoyed his company, actually, and he definitely enjoyed yours too.
“Oh,” Josh mutters in recollection, grabbing your attention. “So—so anyways, uh… Are you… Are you gonna sue me?” He asks with slight caution in his face, his big eyes softening with furrowed eyebrows. “Because, uh, I understand that, but—”
“Can I be completely honest with you?” You interject with a weak chuckle as the brunette gives you a nod. “If anything… I’m kinda… grateful that you hit me with your car.”
Josh’s eyes widened immediately. “Seriously?” He scoffs in disbelief, unsure if you were joking or being morbidly serious.
“Look, it’s—it’s ridiculous. I was, uh, on my way to my job… Actually, I was terribly late, I slept past my alarm again, I literally had to run to my workplace, and then… Then I had to, uh, jaywalk, which, um, definitely explains this… predicament. So it’s not entirely your fault. But… yeah. I mean, I was on my… like, millionth late strike this month and my boss is a total asshole. Luckily, I have an actual excuse to not show up this time, so… he can’t exactly yell at me for being run over.”
“Wow,” Josh replies shortly.
You sucked the air between your teeth. “Yeah.”
“I mean, I get it,” he remarked with a shrug, recalling how Stu Camillo replaced Kronish, which was a result of him meddling with the past. “I have an asshole of a boss now too.”
“Hm, really?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he chuckles.
The two of you shared another friendly, soft glance as a contented sigh left your lips afterwards. “Well… Thank you, Josh, for… well, running me over and therefore helping me avoid the wrath of my boss.”
“You’re welcome,” he says hesitantly, “I… think?” God, he was actually charmingly adorable. You really couldn’t even consider suing that face.
“Yes,” you grin widely, “and if it makes you feel any better, you were way more pleasant than that one guy I had a fender bender with.”
Josh laughs softly. “Yeah?” You nodded in response.
There was another pause, a comfortable moment of silence between the two of you as both of your faces turn flustered.
“Look, I’d—I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least offer something to you, other than paying for your hospital bills, of course, but my work has this holiday party coming up in a few days. Maybe I can bring you along? I just—I really wanna make this up to you. It’s—it’s nice, there’s drinks, food, is that—does that seem good?” He fiddled with his fingers as he spoke, hoping you’d be content with his proposal.
You smile brightly, almost in disbelief as you were given the offer. “That sounds lovely.”
“Great! Great, uh, I’ll—I’ll text you the information. Can I… get your number?” He asks, getting his phone out from his pocket for the last time.
You agreed cheerfully as you began to list the digits in your phone number. “You gonna send me your insurance and plate number too so I can properly report you for this?”
Josh tensed up at your words, which were amusing only to yourself. “I—”
“I’m just messing with you,” a giggle left your lips as the man in front of you sighed in relief. “I’m sorry.”
“No no, I deserved that,” he chuckles softly. “So… Will I be seeing you there?”
boyfriend!futturman would be sooooo clingy, but in a silly way. he’d love to follow you around, basically like a puppy at your heels. he would constantly have a hand on you, rather that was by holding onto the sleeve of your shirt or wrapping his arm around you, there would be constant contact. he was so obsessed with you that even when you showered or took a bath, he’d be close, like, seriously. very close. if he didn’t opt to shower or cram into the tub with you (very rare, typically when he’s already showered and can’t be bothered), he would instead either sit with his back leaning against the side of the tub. if you were enjoying a nice bubble bath, he’d sit on the ledge of the tub, massaging your shoulders.
boyfriend!futturman would sleep in, a little too much. first, you’d start off sweet. you’d press a kiss to his forehead as his alarm went off, his entire body still relaxed and passed out cold, loud snores that tended to annoy you on some nights (but you loved him, so you dealt with it) coming from his mouth. you’d try to entice him with sweet words, promising breakfast and a nice shower together. eventually you’d give up being sweet, having to violently shake his shoulders before he’d even creep his eyes open. sometimes, he’d doze off again. on mornings you could feel it coming, you’d lift your shirt up, revealing your bare chest. this always worked.
boyfriend!futturman who even though he was somewhat lazy at times would take you out on nice dates. sometimes they’d be on fancy dinners, sometimes on sweet picnics or to different festivals. he’d always dress up real nice, buying you a nice new dress with some money he’d saved up. he would be so sweet and gentlemanly, peppering you with kisses all night, dancing then night away with you.
i just read ur bf josh futturman headcannons and they were so good omg 🤭 u think u can write more? there’s barely anything for him and i just need to read more of my loser bf 😓
YESS OFC!!
here are some quick ones until i write better ones up later!! i love futturman i plan on writing a whole series for him lol.
bf!futturman would most def do like, everything for you. he’d treat you so well to the point that you’d get frustrated with him, finding him doing small miscellaneous things you can do by yourself. rather it was hanging your fresh laundry for you, hanging your towel up for you, or even bending down to quickly tie your shoes before you could, he was at your service.
bf!futturman is also extremely insecure sometimes. he can’t fathom that someone like you could love him as much as you do, let alone want to be with him forever. his toxic trait is that he gets jealous really easily, so sometimes he’d go snooping through your stuff….. but then would guiltily admit it all to you. he never means any harm, instinct takes over.
bf!futturman is a cuddler. at night, he is all up in your space. you do not get even an inch of personal space. he’d either be tucked up behind you, spooning you in his arms or he’s the one curled up, not minding being held as you play with his hair. he’s a sweet man who is sensitive, he just likes how connected he feels. he also loves skin to skin, loves to feel your body against his, and not even in a sexual way.
bf!futturman is bad with words but tries his best to get better. at first, actual genuine emotion scares the shit out of him. he’s awful at expressing his love verbally and typically opts to do small acts for you. as your relationship grew, however, he became better and better about it. he felt safer and more comfortable. he was able to let his guard down, words he thought he’d never understand the meaning to beginning to flow from his mouth on occasion, his brain in absolute awe of the way your eyes lit up as he spoke, your cheeks turning bright red as he’d talk about the way you sway your hips or the way your eyes sparkle. he loved making you feel good.
