GRUMPY!MIKE SCHMIDT⋆˚꩜.ᐟ - HEADCANONS
hi everyone :3 long time no write! while i work on something a lil more special for everyone, please enjoy some headcanons! not revised, put together while im baked. plz forgive me.
content warnings: slight nsfw at the end, subtle sexuality
grumpy!mike who gets so mad when the dishes are left in the sink, but he'll never say anything. he may grumble, mumble to himself about how he can't understand why you won't just put your dishes in the dishwasher like he does. he'll do them anyway, every single time, and you'll never hear a peep against it.
grumpy!mike who is subtly dominant. he's a control freak in everything he does, including with his person. hands always gripping some part of your body, rather it's your thigh under the table, a hand in your back pocket, or a singular pinky wrapped around your own. he never strays far from you. his gaze is always watching, his eyes ready to cut over to anyone who glances at you too long.
grumpy!mike who almost NEVER wakes up on the right side of the bed. he's always whining about the light, that it's too hot, too cold. on mondays, he's particularly bad. he'd rasp out to you, eyes still half closed, a hand lazily laying on his forehead. "you know, you'd think living through freddy's would make me happy to see another monday, but sincerely, fuck you to the beginning of the week still." you'd just laugh, inevitably having to tug him out of bed. you'd promise a cup of coffee and a kiss. sometimes that'd be enough.
grumpy!mike who owns any and every possible gaming system that was around at the time that he can get his hands on. he swears hes an expert on them all, that any issue with a broken one from the thrift store? easy peasy to fix. thats when you have to listen to him bitch and complain for a few hours while he trouble shoots the issue. you'e never minded, though. you'll lay on the touch, legs propped up on the side, watching intently. occasionally you'll offer a little support. maybe a quick, "you got this, baby," to which he'll respond, "yeah, well, we'll see..."
grumpy!mike who gets HANGRY. if he hasn't eaten recently, everything becomes overwhelming. tying his shoes, the tv volume, the way his hair is falling in his face. all of these make him antsy. he becomes clumsier with his movements, sharper with his words. he's never mean to you, though. the most you might get is a little attitude in the tone of his voice. he'll still kiss you on the forehead and remind you that you've done nothing wrong.
grumpy!mike who likes something on at night. he likes how the sounds of your soft snores and the tv drown out his thoughts. it isn't as neurotic as the nature sounds he once listened to in order to bring himself back to garrett. no, these are homely, domestic even. these are the kinds of scenes he'd see in the sitcoms he'd obsessively watch. a beautiful woman, a sharper edged man that feels unworthy of her love, and soft sounds of safety.
grumpy!mike who hates grocery shopping days because you both always wake up too late. it always starts with a fight over who snoozed the alarm first, but you always know it was him. the unmistakably gentle weight of his body every morning was a sweet little clue for you. you'd tread through the dismally lit aisles, the saturday afternoon rush making the place packed like a can of sardines. you'd do it best to make it through, and you'd reward yourselves with some sort of treat every time.
grumpy!mike who is a FREAK in the SHEETS. remember how he's a control freak? same in the bed, baby. hands on the neck, in the hair. bite marks everywhere. he's an eater, too. he'll do whatever to hear you whimper. all in all, that's the number one priority.
