I’m on sick leave for another week. This morning I thought it would be fine to go back to work (though I was unsure even then, but I thought I’d try), but after a few hours I realized that... nah, I’m still in pain and can’t focus. And I realized that if this was anyone else, I’d tell them to go take more time off until they’re fully healthy again - and if I’d be nice to someone else, I shouldn’t be mean to myself.
Like, for some reason, just because it’s not a “gives you a fever” type of illness, my brain keeps telling me I’m “not sick enough” to not work and that I’m lazy and just looking for an excuse, even though I literally have shingles, a painful disease that can cause permanent nerve damage and chronic pain if not treated properly.
I thought I’d have to justify myself at the doctors’ and explain why I need a bit more time off - like a day or two - so I kept saying stuff like “I know it doesn’t look that bad anymore, but...”. And the doctor just went “Let me stop you right there”, then explained how shingles is a nerve disease and not a skin disease so the worst part of it is internal where you can’t see it, and then she prescribed me new pain meds and gave me another whole week off - gosh, I was so thankful.
