One thing that I really appreciate about martin as a character is how you can observe him becoming more open over the seasons. Specifically with how he expresses himself, I like the way he noticeably becomes more vocal in his anger and pettiness by season 5. There are several things that I think contribute to this, and all of them make me varying levels of sad and happy all at once:
Obviously being part of the magnus archives in any capacity is enough to make someone more openly angry (as evidenced by pretty much everyone), and martin isn't excluded from that general "I'm being held captive by an invisible entity and the world is on the brink of collapse" rage.
Job security. This one is probably silly, but I can imagine that part of the reason that martin's season one, people-pleasing personality eases up slightly as time goes on could genuinely be because he literally can't lose his job. He's canonically stated to be manipulative, and I'm sure that one of his main reasons for him being so is that it was one of the only ways to assure that he and his mother were taken care of. Once he has the assurance that the only way he'll lose his job is via Death or Dismemberment (and also maybe once his mom died oop) I'm sure it was a lot easier to ngaf.
Comfort!!!!! Again! Martin is a manipulative guy! Not maliciously! Maybe not even consciously sometimes, but to me it feels like he's more likely to put on the gentle, friendly face with people he doesn't trust or isn't comfortable with. Come season 4 and 5, though, he's actively more petty towards and around jon (notably in how he reacts to Jon's gouging suggestion and just his general demeanor come apocalypse times). Part of this could certainly be bitterness leaking over because of The Circumstances, but I also feel that it has a lot more to do with the fact that he isn't necessarily trying to impress jon any more. In fact, at this point jon is the one actively seeking him out. He's beyond the point of needing to prove himself or make himself smaller for jon. By season five it's clear that jon loves him and that he'd go to the ends of the earth for him, so martin lets loose. He holds a grudge and he makes jealous requests and he snaps at times. He's a little bit bossy, and he ignores requests, and he sets boundaries. And all of this is so so beautiful because this is a person that, for years, has had to make himself as passive and small and as serving as possible - if not to appease his mother (who hates him) to keep her taken care of. So slowly watching him find people that he doesn't feel the need to act small around or to act as a caretaker to (unless he WANTS to) is a wonderful wonderful thing that I love.
That scene where the doctor sings about Tuvok going into pon farr and hyposprays him in the ass is the best scene in star trek, and perhaps cinematic, history.
shoutout to @fourdrinkamy for helping me come up with this idea and for being my fave hype girl, @amyscascadingtabs for the constant support and encouragement, and to everyone else who’s let me yell about this fic for the past three weeks. I love y’all sm <3
Zoey Peralta loves to ask alllll the questions. When Amy gets pregnant again, the questions become even more frequent and even more hilarious.
read on ao3 or under the cut.
I. “Mommy, why won’t you open the door?!”
This is the question Amy is bombarded with not even seconds after entering the bathroom. She had just left Zoey in front of the TV, seemingly entranced by the episode of Paw Patrol currently on the screen in hopes that she could use the bathroom in peace.
Not entranced enough, apparently.
Dammit.
Really, Amy knows she shouldn’t be complaining. She’s gotten to spend her day off snuggled up with Zoey on the couch, alternating between reading and working on the puzzle sitting half-completed on the coffee table with Paw Patrol on in the background. It’s the type of day she often dreams about when she’s in the midst of a crazy, exhausting case. So, yes, Amy knows how lucky she is.
But she also knows if she hears “Chase is on the case!” one more time she will freaking lose it.
So as soon as Zoey is settled with a bowl of cheez-its Amy slides out of her daughter’s grip and scurries to the bathroom, snagging her purse off the kitchen table as she does so. For the first time in what felt like years she actually turns the lock after closing the bathroom door. Part of her is surprised they still work.
She had just opened her purse and pulled out a small CVS bag when she hears the banging on the door, followed by her daughter’s incessant yelling.
“MOMMY! I said, why won’t you open the door?”
Amy squeezes her eyes shut as her hand freezes inside the bag.
“Baby, Mommy needs a minute to go potty.”
“But why can’t I come in?”
“Because...because I’ve got a surprise for you!” Amy says wildly, internally cursing herself because now she has to figure out a surprise for Zoey on top of everything else.
“Oooh a surprise?! Is it candy? A new binder? GUMMY WORMS?!”
Amy can’t help but smile. Zoey really is such a combination of her parents.
“Go finish your snack and I’ll come show you when I’m done, okay?”
“Okay!”
As soon as she hears Zoey pitter patter back down the hall she turns her attention back to the bag in her hand. She slides the obnoxious pink package out before plopping herself on the toilet.
It’s a weird feeling, the combination of excitement and dread that courses through her veins as she takes out the pregnancy test. She’s taken what feels like a billion of these at this point and she’s felt pretty much every emotion in the book. This one, though, feels different.
Once Zoey had turned three they’d decided to try for another kid. However it turned out to be much, much easier said than done. After almost a year of trying, three close calls, and one particularly heartbreaking conversation where Amy had admitted to Jake she was convinced the universe didn’t find her worthy of another baby, they’d finally decided to leave it up to fate. It was just too damn hard. They weren’t going to stop trying, but they weren’t going to force it either. If they had another baby, amazing. If not, that’d be okay, too. They already had the most incredible, beautiful daughter. They didn’t need anything else.
That was four months ago.
Fast forward to today. Amy’s period is five days late (which never happens), her boobs hurt like hell, and she hasn’t been able to stop eating for the past 72 hours. All signs that point to her possibly being pregnant.
She wants to be excited, Christ does she want to, but she can’t help the nagging fear telling her it’s going to be negative. There’s no way she’s pregnant.
And yet…
There’s still the tiniest glimmer of hope as she awkwardly places the test between her legs (that part never got any easier either). Maybe this is it. Maybe there’s another Jake-and-Amy combo residing in her belly. Maybe.
Amy’s just placed the test on the counter and set her alarm when she hears Zoey once again trampling down the hall.
“Mommy, the show is done. Are you done with my surprise?” The question is followed by what sounds like Zoey attempting to break apart the door with her own two hands.
Amy winces, eyeing the timer still open on her phone. Two minutes, forty-six seconds.
“Not yet, Zo. I had to order it online.” Again with the lies. Get it together, Amy.
“Oh…” A pause, and then, “Can I come in now? I miss you!”
Amy can’t help but laugh as she stands up to unlock the door. The door swings open to reveal Zoey with her tiny fist up in the air as if ready to strike. Zoey looks up, her eyes widening with excitement as she sees her mom.
“Finally!” she says dramatically, flinging herself into Amy’s legs. “You were in there forever.”
Amy rolls her eyes as a smile flickers across her face. Since the day she was born Zoey Peralta has always been one for dramatics. “It was only two minutes, Zo.”
Zoey lets go of Amy’s legs and crosses her arms, making her look fourteen instead of four. “Yeah, two whole minutes!”
Amy can tell her daughter is trying to look mad, but her eyes are sparkling and there’s a mischievous grin attempting to show itself beneath the angry facade. It’s a look that screams Jake Peralta and it’s enough to make Amy’s heart burst with (exasperated) affection.
“Well I am very, very sorry.” Amy reaches out and lifts her daughter into the air, rousing a giggle out of Zoey before resting her on her right hip. She kisses Zoey’s forehead, sweeping her brown curls out of her face. “I missed you too, Zo-bug.”
She carries Zoey over to the toilet and sits so she’s straddling her lap, pausing to check the timer. Thirty-three seconds. Oh shit.
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?” Amy snaps back to look at her daughter.
Zoey cocks her head. “Why’s your face all scrunchy? Is something wrong?”
Amy gives Zoey what she hopes is a convincing smile. “No, nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why are we still here?” Zoey asks, wiggling in an attempt to get out of Amy’s grasp. Amy steals another glance at the test. This look does not get past her daughter, who immediately reaches for the counter. “Ooh what’s that, Mommy?”
It’s all Amy can do not to burst out laughing. Of course Zoey wants to get her hands on a used pregnancy test.
“Well, it’s a test that Mommy took,” she explains, grabbing the stick and shoving it into her pants pocket. She doesn’t look to see the results.
“I love tests!” exclaims Zoey. She turns back to Amy with an inquisitive look. “Can I take one, too?”
Amy snorts before shaking her head. “No, baby. This is a test for Mommies only.”
“Oh. Okay.” Zoey thankfully isn’t too upset she isn’t included in this particular activity. She does, apparently, have more questions. “But why did you take it on the potty?”
Just as Amy’s about to try and explain herself the timer goes off, causing Amy’s brain to officially go into panic mode. This is it, the moment of truth.
But wait -- Should she look with Zoey right there? Part of her wants to, wants her first baby to be there for the moment she becomes a big sister -- or for comfort if she doesn’t. But there’s another part of her that knows if Zoey finds out she will tell Jake, and their parents, and every stranger she meets on the street before Amy even has a chance to open her mouth.
Maybe she should just wait for Jake. He should be home any minute. She can make it til then, right? Right.
Amy lifts Zoey into the air as she rises off the toilet seat and sets her on the ground.
“Alright, Bug. Should we go see what Ryder and the rest of the gang are up to?”
“Yeah! No job is too big, no pup is too — ”
Down the hall they hear the front door click open, followed by a booming voice calling out, “Anybody home?”
“DADDY!” Zoey’s eyes light up before she sprints out of the bathroom and down the hall. “Daddy, you’re home!”
“Hey Zozo!”
Even from her spot in the bathroom Amy can hear Zoey collide with Jake. She giggles to herself as she follows her daughter’s path towards the entryway. Once in the hallway she can see them; Zoey wrapped around Jake’s leg while Jake places his keys on their designated hook.
“How was your day with Mommy?” Jake asks, lifting Zoey into the air. He blows a raspberry on her cheek, causing Zoey to burst into giggles. Amy’s pretty sure it’s scientific fact that Zoey giggles are the cutest sounds in the entire world.
See, they don’t need a second kid. Just look how amazing their first one is.
“Good. We watched Paw Patrol and started a puzzle,” says Zoey, now clinging to Jake’s neck.
Jake’s eyes light up in over-the-top excitement. “No way! You’ll have to show it to me.”
“Okay. Mommy helped but I did most of it,” Zoey adds proudly.
“Yeah she did,” Amy confirms, smiling as she reaches the two of them. “Hi there.”
Jake returns her exhausted smile with one of his own before kissing her gently on the lips. “Hi.”
“Guess what, Daddy?” Zoey pipes up, inserting herself right between her parents. Jake and Amy snicker at each other. God forbid there be a single moment where Zoey isn’t the center of their attention.
“What?”
“Mommy took a test today for Mommies in the bathroom. Isn’t that a funny place for a test?”
Jake’s eyebrows as shoot up while Amy closes her eyes. This was so not how she wanted him to find out.
If there even is anything to find out.
Amy opens her eyes to see Jake looking right at her. She can see the gears in his head turning, quickly putting two and two together. He tilts his head slightly, as if looking for a confirmation.
“Oh really?” His question is directed at Amy. She nods, feeling a blush spread down her neck and cheeks.
“Question Queen over here caught me just as I’d finished taking it.”
“Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.” Jake lets out a nervous laugh. The corners of his mouth are attempting to smile, but it’s like he’s trying to keep it hidden. Like he’s just as scared as she is.
“And?” he asks in a terrible attempt at being casual. They both know this is anything but casual. “What’d it say?”
“Yeah, did you get all the questions right?” Zoey asks.
“I don’t know,” Amy answers honestly, not taking her eyes off Jake. “We got a little sidetracked.”
“Right.” Jake runs his free hand through his hair.
“I have it here. We should look, right?” Amy asks, slowly reaching her hand down to where the test was currently residing and burning a hole in her pocket. “Get it over with?”
“Sure, yeah, that sounds good,” says Jake, hoisting Zoey over to his other hip. “It’s your call, babe.”
There’s a shift in the air, as if they’ve been suspended in time. Amy grips the test, but freezes just before pulling it out. She doesn’t know if she can do this again, if she can handle another heartbreak.
“Ames?”
Amy looks up to see Jake giving her the sweetest smile with Zoey still tucked into his side.
“It’ll all be okay.”
“Yeah, Mommy!” Zoey adds with a toothy grin of her own. She doesn’t have the slightest idea what her parents are talking about, but both her and Jake’s encouragements are all Amy needs to take the test out of her pocket.
They will be okay. Baby or not, they will all be okay.
She gives them a nod and a tiny smile, takes a deep breath, and finally flips the test over.
“Oh my god.”
A gasp escapes from the back of her throat. She brings her hand to her mouth.
“Ames, what’s it say?”
“Did you get the questions right?”
Amy can’t speak, she can barely breathe as she holds up the test for Jake to see.
A dark pink plus sign.
Turns out Zoey’s getting a surprise after all.
—
II. “How’d the baby get in your tummy?”
In retrospect, Amy probably should have seen this coming.
As soon as they found out Amy was pregnant, both Jake and Amy had been researching ways to make the pregnancy less confusing for her and to prepare her for having a little brother or sister. They’d spent hours scouring the internet and talked to the Sarge and probably bought WAY too many books about the subject.
One thing Terry had suggested was using a doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Apparently he and Sharon did that with the twins before Ava was born and they thought it was the coolest thing ever. They’d even let the girls take turns using the wand, following the baby around as she moved. So last night Jake had rummaged through their closet and dug out the doppler they’d bought when Amy was pregnant with Zoey. Amy, on the other hand, read through the Zoey tab on the pregnancy binder for the thousandth time.
It’s a win-win really and honestly, she’s surprised she didn’t think of this sooner. They hadn’t heard the heartbeat in a few weeks, and Amy already misses hearing it. Even though she’s showing now, she still wants — no, needs that extra reminder that her baby is there, that this is really happening. Sometimes she still has trouble believing it.
So now here they are; Amy’s propped up on the bed with her (Jake’s) t-shirt pulled up and gel all over her belly while Jake sits with Zoey in his lap, the doppler ready to go in between them.
“Alright. You ready for this, Bug?” Jake asks.
“Uh-huh.” Zoey starts to nod then stops herself. “Ready for what?”
Jake and Amy lock eyes and smirk to themselves. Their daughter, they’ve realized, has inherited her father’s goldfish brain.
“To hear the baby’s heartbeat,” Amy reminds her gently. She places her hand on the machine. “Remember? We’re gonna use the doppler so you can hear its heartbeat from inside my tummy.”
“We did this all the time when you were in there,” adds Jake. Zoey looks up at him with raised eyebrows.
“You did?”
“Oh yeah,” says Amy with an exaggerated nod. “We listened to your heartbeat all the time. In fact, it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. Until I heard you cry.” She reaches over and pokes Zoey’s belly, causing her to break into giggles. “And heard you laugh.”
“Silly Mommy,” says Zoey, still giggling. “Heartbeats aren’t beautiful! And neither is crying. Crying is so annoying.”
Annoying is Zoey’s new favorite word. Everything is annoying these days.
“Maybe most crying is annoying,” says Amy. “But hearing you cry when you were born was the least annoying, most amazing thing in the entire world.”
“Okay…” Zoey says, clearly unconvinced. However she moves on rather quickly, now turning her attention back to the doppler. “How does it work?”
“How about we show you?” Jake asks in reply. “Give me your hand.”
Zoey obliges, extending her arm out towards Jake. Jake, in turn, places the doppler wand in her hand before wrapping his own hand around hers. He guides the wand towards Amy’s belly and helps Zoey place it just below her belly button.
“What is this, Daddy?” Zoey asks. Her eyes are still trained on the doppler wand in front of her.
“This,” Jake starts dramatically, “Is a magic wand.”
“For realz?” Zoey’s eyes are wide as saucers. Jake nods, his eyes matching his daughter’s intensity.
“For realz. It sends a special message into Mommy’s belly and then plays the baby’s heartbeat into this little speaker.”
Part of Amy wants to interrupt, to give Zoey a more accurate depiction of what’s happening -- that’s what all the books say to do and it’s in subsection five of the Zoey tab. But as she listens to the two of them talk about magic and how the gel on her skin is actually a secret potion, she can’t bring herself to do it. Zoey’s completely enamoured. Her gaze keeps switching from Jake to the doppler to Amy’s belly with infectious excitement. It’s the most she’s really engaged with the baby since they first explained the pregnancy. How could she interrupt?
“How are we gonna find the heartbeat?” Zoey asks after Jake’s done explaining.
“Well, first we need to turn on the machine,” says Jake. He looks up at Amy. “Mommy, will you do the honors?”
Amy grins. “Of course.”
She reaches over and flicks the switch, and instantly a static noise fills the air
“Is that it?!” Zoey asks, already excited. “Is that the heartbeat?”
Jake shakes his head.
“Not yet,” he says gently. Using his hand to guide Zoey’s, the two of them begin to move the doppler across her stomach. “Now we have to find it. It’s like a treasure hunt.”
“It’ll sound different, Zo. Kind of like a galloping horse,” Amy adds. “That’s how Abuela always described it to me.”
“Like this?” Zoey beings clicking her tongue, jumping up and down in Jake’s lap in what Amy assumes is a horse impression. She gets so into it she almost throws Jake off the bed.
“Easy, cowgirl!” Jake grabs the headboard and pulls himself back towards the middle of the bed so his knee is bumping against Amy’s side.
“Yep, kinda like that,” Amy says with a giggle.
It takes them another minute or so to find the baby, specifically the heartbeat. She knows they found it a second before Jake does. It’s fast -- very similar to Zoey’s horse impression if she’s being honest -- and absolutely breathtaking. Amy’s never been as into music as Jake, but this? This is music to her ears.
“There you are,” she whispers. One corner of her mouth curls into a smile as she instinctively brings a hand to her belly and raps her fingers against the bump. She’s almost immediately rewarded with a nudge under her hand. It’s too early to feel it from the outside, making it all the more special. Right now the kicks are just for her, her own secret code with her littlest baby. “You’re excited too, aren’t you?” Another nudge. “That’s what I thought.”
Next to her she can hear Jake talking Zoey through the whole experience.
“You hear that, Zo? That’s the heartbeat. That’s your little sister,” he says. His voice is soft, almost reverent. His hand is still wrapped around Zoey’s as they continue to press the doppler onto Amy’s belly.
“Wow…” says Zoey, clearly in awe.
“I know, isn’t that awesome?”
“Yeah, so awes -- Hey! Where’d it go?”
Static replaces the heartbeat, causing both Amy and Zoey to look up at Jake with identical annoyed expressions.
“Hold on, ladies. Give me a second. She must be moving around in there,” Jake explains, bringing his attention back to the doppler. “We have to move the wand around a bit so we can find her again, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
It doesn’t take them long to find it again, the familiar whoosh once again filling up the room within a minute or so. Amy can hear Zoey firing off more questions, to which Jake gives a multitude of answers. She probably should be paying more attention, but it’s just so hard to focus on anything other than the heartbeat and the little kicks she’s getting to her side.
However there is one question that manages to bring her out of her trance real quick.
“How’d the baby get in your tummy?”
The room falls silent as Jake lets go of the doppler, letting it fall onto the bed with a soft thump.
Amy snaps her head up to see Zoey looking right at her, her eyes furrowed with curiosity. She’s seen that look hundreds of times; it’s the same look Jake gets when he’s thinking through all the possible outcomes of a case.
“Mommy?” Zoey asks again. Her eyes flicker between Amy’s eyes and her belly. “How’d the baby get in there?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”
For all of the binders and all of the tabs she’s created for this pregnancy and how to explain it to Zoey, Amy never even thought about making one for this particular question.
Rookie mistake.
Amy looks up from her daughter to Jake, who’s just as shocked as she is. Amy raises her eyebrows, hoping he would have some brilliant idea for how to answer their daughter’s latest question. He merely scrunches his face up with an alarmed shake of the head.
“Well,” Amy starts, “Mommies grow babies in their tummies.”
“I know that,” huffs Zoey. “But how did it get inside?”
“It’s -- uh, well it’s kinda like…”
“Like what?”
Amy shoots Jake another panicked look, trying to telepathically get him to step in. Thankfully he seems to get the message.
“It’s magic, Zo,” he explains, pulling something out of his ass based on his wild expression. “Yeah! When two people love each other a magic spell gets placed on them and it takes part of the mommy and part of the daddy and puts them together in the mommy’s tummy. Then it grows and grows until it’s a baby and it’s ready to come out. How cool is that?!”
“Yeah that is kinda cool,” Zoey says thoughtfully. She’s quiet for a second, then, “Will I have a baby in my tummy?”
“If you want to, baby,” Amy says, pursing her lips as she tries not to laugh at Jake’s terrified expression. “But not for a long, long time,” she adds.
Zoey furrows her eyebrows before nodding. “Okay. Can I hear the heartbeat again?”
“Yes!” Jake exclaims a little too quickly as he fumbles for the doppler. Amy covers her mouth to hide her giggles, which earns her a flick to the shoulder. “Rude,” he mouths.
“You love me,” she shoots back.
She expects some snappy comeback, but as always Jake continues to surprise her. He leans over, catching her lips in the softest kiss.
“Yes I do.”
—
Later on after Zoey’s had her fill of the baby she decides to go play in her room, leaving Jake and Amy alone.
“So magic, huh?” Amy asks at once, giving Jake an amused smirk. “Did our Hogwarts letters just get lost in the mail, or…?”
“Hey, I didn’t hear you coming up with better!” Jake says defensively. “Besides, at least she bought it. Now hopefully she won’t ask about it again for a while.”
“That’s true…” she trails off before letting out a groan. “God, our daughter is too curious for her own good.”
“And just think, soon there will be two of them,” says Jake, his eyes sparkling with excitement. Amy can’t help but melt as he lowers himself down so he’s laying on his side, propping his head on his hand. “I love you, baby girl.”
Amy feels the slightest nudge right as Jake places his other hand on the swell of her stomach. Based on Jake’s non-existent reaction, the kick isn’t strong enough to be felt on the outside. Usually she tells Jake when the baby moves, but this one she decides to keep to herself. It won’t be long until the kicks aren’t just for her. For now she’d rather keep it that way. Instead she runs her hand through the curls at the nape of Jake’s neck, relishing the rare moment of tranquility as Jake continues to trace patterns all across her stomach.
It’s Jake who finally breaks the silence.
“Wanna listen to her heartbeat again without a four-year-old asking a billion questions?”
Amy grins. “Oh you know it.”
----
III. “Is this my baby?”
Amy is nervous.
Well, she’s a multitude of things. She’s tired and sore and excited and terrified and so, so, so deliriously happy. But right now, she’s mostly nervous.
It’s not that she thinks anything bad will happen. They’ve been preparing for this. Not to mention Zoey’s been asking everyday for the past month when the baby will get here. She’s constantly been telling both her parents -- and everyone else she knows for that matter -- all the things she wants to do with her baby sister when she gets here. They’re gonna play Ninja Turtles, watch Moana, read all her favorite books, you name it. Amy and Jake have tried explaining that the baby won’t be able to play for a little bit, but Zoey doesn’t seem to care. She’s just too excited. She even made a little to-do list of all the activities. Granted, it’s a piece of paper with a bunch of colored squiggles, but still. The point is, the girl’s excited to have a little sister.
So really Amy shouldn’t be nervous at all. They’re ready for this.
But still, there’s a part of her that remembers the horror stories she’s read about where the older kid threw a tantrum when they realized they weren’t the only child getting mom and dad’s attention. It’s that very thought that’s been running through her head since Jake left to pick up Zoey from his mom’s. What if that’s Zoey’s reaction? What if she hates her sister?
The tiniest movement from the hours old bundle in her arms grabs Amy’s attention. Her gaze is brought back to her daughter, who’s face scrunches up before stretching into the most adorable yawn.
Amy can feel her heart exploding into a million little pieces. God, her daughter is breathtaking.
How could anyone hate her?!
Truth be told, there’d been a tiny part of her that was worried she wouldn’t love this baby as much as she loves Zoey. It was a fear she never voiced, not even to Jake. She didn’t want anyone thinking she was going to be a terrible mother, or that she’d already somehow picked a favorite child. But sitting here in her hospital bed with their beautiful baby who has the darkest hair and tiniest nose she can feel all those fears disappear.
“Because I love you so much, yes I do,” Amy whispers, bringing the baby up to eye level. She closes her eyes and plants the softest kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “You beautiful, beautiful girl.”
The baby blinks before looking right back at Amy and she thinks there’s no question who’s eyes she inherited.
Jake had put it best before he left to pick up Zoey.
“She’s like an opposite Harry Potter, babe! Looks just like her mom except her eyes. Pretty sure those are mine.”
“He’s right, you know,” Amy says, kissing the baby’s cheek this time before tucking her back into her arms. She runs a finger over her cheek. “Your dad is actually right a lot of the time, but we don’t tell him that. Can’t have him getting cocky.”
Her phone buzzes on her bedside table.
“I bet I know who that is,” Amy sings as she picks up the phone to check her texts. Sure enough, she’s right. She types up a quick response before turning her attention back to her daughter. “Your daddy and sister are on their way up. Zoey’s so excited to meet you. Although, you might want to clear your schedule. It sounds like she’s going to be keeping you pretty busy,” she jokes.
The baby lets out a tiny squeal.
“I know!” Amy exclaims softly. “You two are gonna have so much fun.”
With her free hand she grabs the plastic bassinet over to her side before gently lowering the baby onto the bedding. She doesn’t want Zoey to feel threatened, so she’s decided open arms would be her best option. Besides, she needs her hands to be free so she properly hug her firstborn; it’s only been 24 hours but she misses her question queen so much it hurts.
While she waits for the other half of her family to arrive, Amy takes the opportunity to study her daughter‘s features. Looks wise the girls are pretty similar, but there are a few differences she’s picked up on; they share the same chin and eyes and they both have the Santiago nose, but while Zoey has her dad’s mouth and hair color, their newest addition definitely favored Amy. And while she’s only been in the world for eight hours, this little girl is proving to be much more, well, chill than their eldest.
Although that could be because of the fact that she was born right on schedule on a sunny morning in July rather than almost three weeks early in the middle of a Halloween Heist.
“But who’s to say. Right, cutie?” Amy coos, running a finger over the baby’s fine, dark hair.
A quiet knock on the door echoes through the quiet hospital room, causing Amy’s grip on the bassinet to tighten. She doesn’t have time to even invite them in before the door bursts open.
“MOMMY!!!”
Zoey races into the room wearing the “World’s Best Big Sister” shirt they’d bought for her a couple months ago followed by a slightly frazzled Jake. His hair is still stuck up in a million directions and Amy’s pretty sure his shirt’s on backwards, making him look just as exhausted as she feels.
“Zoey, remember what we talked about?” Jake asks softly, causing Zoey to stop in her tracks in the middle of the room. “We need to be gentle, okay?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry.” Zoey drops her voice to a whisper before continuing to inch towards the bed. She gives Amy a toothy grin. “Hi Mommy.”
“Hey, Zo-bug,” says Amy, returning her daughter’s smile. She pats the spot to her left and Zoey immediately climbs up and curls into Amy’s side. “How was your night at Nana’s?”
“Good,” Zoey replies, her voice muffled by the hospital gown and her mom’s side. “We had ice cream with oreos in it.”
“Ooh that sounds so yummy. Maybe we should get some of that for our apartment,” Amy says, brushing a hand through one of Zoey’s curly pigtails. “Did Daddy do your hair?”
But Amy’s question goes unanswered, as Zoey is now looking curiously at the bassinet, or rather the tiny bundle inside the bassinet. Amy smiles up at Jake, who returns it with an excited grin of his own. He’s got his phone out, already taking copious amounts of photos.
“What do you see?” Amy murmurs into her daughter’s ear.
In true Zoey fashion, she answers with a question. It is officially the cutest, best question she’s ever asked.
“Is that my baby?”
Amy lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah, Zo, that’s your baby sister. That’s Sarah. Sarah Grace Peralta.”
“Oh.” Zoey’s still mesmerized. She sits up so she’s no longer in Amy’s arms and reaches out, pressing a finger against the plastic. “Hi, Sarah.”
Sarah flails her arm free from her swaddler.
“Look, Bug! She’s waving at you,” says Jake. Out of the corner of her eye Amy can see him moving closer, taking a spot on the couch to get a better view.
“Yeah…” Zoey trails off before looking up at Amy. “Can I hold her?”
“Of course,” says Amy. She sits up and carefully lifts Sarah into her arms before looking up at Jake. “You wanna grab the hand sanitizer from my bag?”
“Oh yeah.” Jake jumps from his spot and sifts through Amy’s overnight bag before pulling out the giant bottle of Purell she’d bought a few weeks ago. He sits down on the bed and pours a dollop into his hand. “Come here, Zo. Let’s get your hands squeaky clean.”
“Why?”
“Because Sarah hasn’t had time to get used to germs like we have. So we want to make sure she doesn’t get sick,” he explains.
“Oh okay,” says Zoey, holding her hands out for Jake. “Kinda like when we go to your work? There are germs there too, right Mommy?”
“Exactly,” says Amy with a nod. “Now, how about you go sit in Daddy’s lap and he’ll help you hold the baby?”
Zoey nods fervently, scrambling across the bed and plopping herself onto Jake’s legs. “I’m ready!” she announces.
Amy bites her lip as she smiles back at her daughter. She can already feel the tears forming and Zoey hasn’t even held her yet. But seeing Zoey so excited and watching Jake help her hold her arms the right way is just too much for her hormonal brain to handle.
“Okay, baby. Here you go. Be gentle, okay?” Amy carefully places Sarah in Jake and Zoey’s arms, making sure her head was supported by Jake.
Zoey is silent, her eyes growing wide as she felt the baby’s weight in her arms. She’s more still than she’s been in months, which honestly is freaking Amy out. Zoey is never this quiet. Is something wrong? Does she already hate her? What could possibly be going through her daughter’s brain right now?!
Jake, on the other hand, is completely calm.
“She’s cute, isn’t she?” he asks, his voice low, steady.
“Mmhm,” Zoey says. She doesn’t take her eyes off the baby. “She’s so cute.”
Jake smiles, leaning down to nuzzle the top of Zoey’s head with his cheek. “You’re doing so well, Zo. You wanna give your baby a kiss?”
Zoey nods, slowly leaning down and planting the softest kiss on Sarah’s cheek.
Oh god, if Amy wasn’t crying before she definitely is now. This is better than anything she could’ve imagined. Her three favorite people are loving on each other and being so sweet it actually hurts her heart. It’s so pure, so warm. It’s better than anything she could have possibly imagined. She’s honestly surprised she hasn’t completely melted into a puddle in the middle of her bed.
While Jake and Zoey keep fawning over Sarah, Amy reaches over and grabs both her phone and a box of tissues off the table. She hastily wipes at her eyes before snapping picture after picture, hoping at least one of them turns out. Jake’s going to want to remember this. Hell, she’s gonna wanna remember this.
At one point Jake looks up and makes eye contact with Amy, and that’s when she sees he’s been crying too. Amy cocks her head, wanting to make sure he’s okay. Jake nods back, his eyes shining.
“Just happy,” he mouths.
She juts her lip out. “Love you,” she whispers. Because she does. She loves Jake Peralta with all her heart.
He grins, biting his lower lip. “Love you too.”
Not to be outdone, Zoey looks up to see where her dad’s attention has gone.
“Mommy, why you crying?” she asks, looking alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
Amy laughs, wiping at her eyes again. “Oh nothing, baby. These are happy tears.” She reaches out and runs a hand down Zoey’s arm and squeezing her hand. “I just love you and your baby sister so much.”
“I love you too, Mommy,” says Zoey. She gives Sarah another kiss. “And I love my baby.”
And that’s how Amy Santiago-Peralta died.
Just kidding. She doesn’t die.
She does, however, go through a whole box of tissues as Sarah gets passed from Zoey to Jake and back to her. Zoey’s never far from her sister, always wanting to hold her hand or give her a kiss.
Between Amy and Jake they take almost a hundred photos, and Amy already has one of them picked out as her new desk photo (Holt says to not keep photos on your desk but she can’t help it, she likes to see her daughter -- no, daughters -- faces while she works). It’s a selfie Jake took. He’s smiling his softest, close-lipped smile with Zoey in his lap, not looking at the camera but at Sarah. The baby is fast asleep in Amy’s arms, and Amy herself is smiling so wide you can see her molars if you look hard enough. It’s not a perfect photo -- Zoey’s a little blurry and the bags under Amy’s eyes wouldn’t fit in the overhead compartment of an airplane -- but it’s perfect to her.
