Probablea

18+ || My name's Probably Bea || He/They || 25 y/o ||Commissions: OPEN

[bumblingbabooshka]

🍯 It’s Bumbling Bea!

★ 25 / he/they / NO minors please!

💌 Art & Writing Commissions: OPEN

★ Commissions | Patreon | Itch.io | Ko-fi  ★ Star Filled Oyster [Tapas] or [Site] | Toyhouse [my ocs]  ★ Website | Bluesky

Note on Patreon: Please do not become a patron through the IOS store, they’re gonna make you pay a significantly larger fee arbitrarily. Please use a web browser instead.    👉 Daily Clicks 👉 Gaza Funds

[bumblingbabooshka]

Patreon, March: Growing up kinder than your parents

"Tuvok as a firm but gentle protector who listens to children despite being more traditional is lovely to me. I bet some kids are scared of him at first but eventually they learn he isn't so bad <3"

[shovelwareyaoi]

[kragehund-est]

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

[cupiidzbow]

I have to defend overhated women characters with my life this isn’t a game to me anymore dog I’m so serious

[bumblingbabooshka]

A snippet of the experience that leads Tuvok to rejoin Starfleet in 'Pathways'. I love this man. Imagine trying to explain this.

[knightofleo]

[herpsandbirds]

Common eider

[phynoma]

This needs to be immortalized because it's what made me turn on the sound. And they were right

[bumblingbabooshka]

Pear is ill-equip for winter and....other things. [Become a Patron | Commissions are Open] [Star filled Oyster]

[bumblingbabooshka]

Enormous yuri potential between TOS Christine and T'Pring BUT 🛑🫷 Christine really fucking hates her at first and it leads to a mild obsession. T'Pring has no strong opinion on her and is also still (satisfactorily) with Stonn. It's one of those 'They have a singular mindblowing night in a space motel room and never speak again' type ships.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Something compels me about T'Pol's early look. Elements of (even tiny) things being 'unfeminine' or 'unflattering' on a female character whose design is banking on straight dude sex appeal...then they hit her with Ultra Human Femme Ray. To be clear, T'Pol is not UNfeminine in her early look but there IS [to me] a difference between 'tight gray catsuit up to the neck with a bowlcut' and 'tight lowcut bright pink catsuit with a bob.'

Plus, on a very personal note - I hate how it makes her stick out so much from the rest of the crew and Enterprise's general muted aesthetic. If her no longer being part of the High Command and becoming a true blue member of Enterprise's crew is being signified through her no longer wearing what is apparently a Vulcan uniform, why is what she wears from then on not only not a Starfleet uniform but a series of catsuits in the brightest colors known to the show? Like, just look at this!

Could she not wear a jumpsuit in the same color as the uniform to symbolically signal that though she's not IN Starfleet yet she's still a part of this crew? Failing that, can we turn down the saturation a little??

[bumblingbabooshka]

'other girls vs me' picture

[bumblingbabooshka]

Something compels me about T'Pol's early look. Elements of (even tiny) things being 'unfeminine' or 'unflattering' on a female character whose design is banking on straight dude sex appeal...then they hit her with Ultra Human Femme Ray. To be clear, T'Pol is not UNfeminine in her early look but there IS [to me] a difference between 'tight gray catsuit up to the neck with a bowlcut' and 'tight lowcut bright pink catsuit with a bob.'

Plus, on a very personal note - I hate how it makes her stick out so much from the rest of the crew and Enterprise's general muted aesthetic. If her no longer being part of the High Command and becoming a true blue member of Enterprise's crew is being signified through her no longer wearing what is apparently a Vulcan uniform, why is what she wears from then on not only not a Starfleet uniform but a series of catsuits in the brightest colors known to the show? Like, just look at this!

Could she not wear a jumpsuit in the same color as the uniform to symbolically signal that though she's not IN Starfleet yet she's still a part of this crew? Failing that, can we turn down the saturation a little??

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager Week, Day 2: Favorite Character Tuvok's civilian clothing...you need to protect your face from all that Vulcan sand! [Patreon | Commissions]

[bumblingbabooshka]

SHE MAY CONTAIN THE URGE TO RUN AWAY BUT HOLD HER DOWN WITH SOGGY CLOTHES AND BREEZEBLOCKS : x

[Become a Patron | Commissions are Open]

[bumblingbabooshka]

When Tuvok is characterized in fandom as being a person who struggles uniquely and habitually with violence/anger because of 'Meld' when in reality he's shown to struggle with and be defined by love much more

[bumblingbabooshka]

I would argue that Tuvok is shown struggling with/being defined much more by love than rage.

He almost completely loses his logic in youth bc of a crush he's willing to throw his entire life away for, he'd rather risk death than sleep with someone other than his wife during the pon farr (and only does otherwise bc Tom makes a hologram that looks exactly like her), he talks about missing his family and how deeply ingrained into his identity they are in the same episode he almost adopts an alien child after knowing her like 2 days, and the two episodes in which he's given a love interest have a lot to do with incredible loneliness and yearning for companionship.

Even though there's never any doubt he's going to stay true to T'Pel (despite what anyone else thinks of that decision) he still clearly has some sort of attraction to these women that he's tamping down on/nipping in the bud. The fact that he's decided to remain committed to T'Pel is in and of itself a strong indicator of how much he loves both her and his family. He's on that ship for presumably 70 years and he's ready to spend ALL that time waiting. It could be argued that's not logical, especially when the pon farr will threaten his life every 7 years, but he never budges despite the hardships his being alone seems to bring him. In contrast, the only episodes I can remember (/srs there may be others I've forgotten) having to do with something close to Tuvok being wrathful or violent are Meld & Random Thoughts: 

In 'Meld' it's heavily implied if not outright stated that Tuvok is acting that way bc he's being flooded by SUDER'S violence just as Suder is being heavily influenced by Tuvok's emotional control/self discipline due to the eponymous meld.

The Doctor also temporarily removes Tuvok’s ability to control his emotions to reset him back to baseline. So even when Tuvok is behaving angrily/violently in sickbay, it’s not to say that this is bubbling just below the surface or that these are his truest thoughts/actions, or even that he’d act that way without emotional control on any normal day.

To me it seems more like Suder’s violence is flooding him, overwhelming and corrupting his systems to the point that a full reset is necessary. Because it’s specifically Suder’s violent and irrepressible urge to kill that’s influencing Tuvok in that episode post-mind meld, I believe it’d be disingenuous to claim that the thoughts and actions he expresses as a result are true to Tuvok as a character - to say they define him. 

(To me it’s similar to how Deanna was flooded with another person’s negativity in Man of the People, though the comparison is not one-to-one as Deanna didn’t consent to that and this meld was very much wanted. I’m saying that while some of those thoughts might have existed in Deanna beforehand: Like how Alkar seems to prey specifically on women who are attracted to him and that’s why they all become absolutely crazy about him when that feeling is flooded with negativity - it doesn’t mean that the things Deanna does in that episode are the truest expressions of herself. 

Deanna may on some level at some point have had errant thoughts about how she’s bored during a session or thinks her client is wrong about something. That doesn’t mean on a normal day, uninfluenced by Alkar’s negative waste, these thoughts would balloon into her telling someone else that they need to put up or shut up and stop wasting everybody’s time.

Likewise, Tuvok may have on some level felt that the punishment given to Suder was insufficient for the crime committed, but that doesn’t mean under normal circumstances he’d claim that killing him was the correct alternative.)

Furthermore, lines like “I can feel the difference. It is almost as if I can observe the violence inside me without letting it get too close. It is quite remarkable what you Vulcans have learnt to do.” and “It must be difficult for you, knowing violence as I’ve known it. [I have studied violence for over a hundred years] Studying it and knowing it are two different things.” Make it sound as if Tuvok isn’t familiar with actually FEELING whatever violent urges exist within him. It seems more like he’s used to viewing them from afar and has no idea what to do when that’s no longer possible. The impression I get is that Suder is introducing him to an entirely new and confusing world from the instant he says he killed someone for no reason. 

It’s also important to note that whenever Tuvok brings up these violent urges and the suppression of them, he attributes them to his Vulcan nature. He doesn’t treat them as something aberrant, unique to him, or even something he’s worried about being able to control - he has enough confidence in his suppression that he’s comfortable melding with a serial killer out of pure curiosity. These don’t seem like the thoughts or actions of someone who’s struggling with or has struggled with violence in the past. 

In 'Random Thoughts' there's also no signs I can recall of Tuvok actually struggling with violence or rage more than any other Vulcan. It's within him, yes, but to say he uniquely struggles with it or struggles MOST with it is something I would disagree with. Guill even accuses him of "struggling with violent thoughts" & Tuvok tells him that those thoughts are so under control that they're ‘unconscious’ to him - implying to me that they're not something he struggles with or is even actively aware of most of the time. 

In both the examples of 'Meld' and 'Random Thoughts' it’s also important to acknowledge that Tuvok's mind is being tampered with or he's being forced to express violence due to a lack of his normal control. I wouldn't say that that indicates he struggles with these thoughts - only that they're present on some level.

He IS a person who seems more easily irked than say Spock but I wouldn't say that's enough to call him an angry or violent person. T’Pol for example is also more irritable than Spock and there are multiple instances of her having full blown arguments or outbursts with others on ENT, yet I’ve never seen her portrayed by fans as an angry or violent person. (Not saying it’d be right for her to be portrayed that way or that these portrayals don’t exist, I haven’t seen all content ever created) Yet multiple times I've seen people portray Tuvok as this incredibly angry/violent person who’s just one bad turn away from killing everyone in his line of sight and it DOES read on some level as unintentionally racist to me bc he's played by a black man. 

(Crucial Note: This is NOT an accusation in the slightest, I say 'unintentionally' for a reason - we live in a society and it’s important to examine biases. When a black character expresses anger or is violent, do you see it as more frightening, less forgivable, more intrinsic to their being than when a white character does? Again, we live in a society where racism is baked into everything, I don’t think someone is A Racist just because they may hold or perpetuate unexamined biases. I’m 100% certain I do as well! Examining these things, being open to and unafraid of learning, and changing one's mind, is lifelong work!)  I just don't personally see anything in canon that'd point to Tuvok being angrier or more violent than other Vulcan we see. It’s possible I’m genuinely missing something but the examples I always see people point to as evidence for him struggling with violence/rage or being a person defined by such emotions are lackluster to me, insufficient.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Romantic love, however, definitely reads to me as something Tuvok struggles with. In "Gravity" he's shown to be frustrated about being forced to suppress his emotions but the episode/the monk teaching him doesn't zero in on anger being the emotion he struggles most with - it's explicitly shown and stated to be love. 

The monk says "Shon-ha'lock, love, is the most dangerous emotion of all. It produces many other emotions. Jealousy, shame, rage, grief. You must learn to suppress them all, otherwise they will consume you." So in that instance I'd say that the anger he feels is more a byproduct of love. It's lumped in with everything else, making it feel unimportant when compared to love. This is furthered by the monk & Tuvok both agreeing that the reason he was banished was because he formed an emotional attachment to Jara and refused to eschew it. When Tuvok recalls the experience as an adult he also centers the conversation around love, that his feelings for her nearly destroyed him. "I lost all sense of who I was. The emotional attraction I felt for her became a kind of insanity." Again and again the episode communicates that Love was the main problem which needed addressing, not so much any of its 'symptoms' ex: Jealousy, Anger, Self-Pity, which would vanish when the cause was dealt with. In the episode "Alter Ego" we're shown that Tuvok has seemingly remained vigilant about love. It struck me as incredibly unique to Tuvok, to hear a Vulcan so interested in and knowledgeable about love (in order to deconstruct it but the fact he's zeroed in on the emotion 'love' as opposed to any other stands out and is thematically relevant to his character. It reads in-episode as something he's potentially studied or struggled with and this is revealed to be true in "Gravity." You also don't really hear Vulcans talk about any emotion other than to say they don’t experience it, so it stood out to me how in-depth Tuvok’s understanding of love’s mechanics were.) 

He's a sort of expert on love, able to lead Harry through an exercise on how to spot and rid himself of it, but as we're shown in the episode, Tuvok’s not quite able to actually accomplish the ruthlessness he tells Harry to practice. It's clear he develops some sort of attraction to Marayna (implied to be romantic despite his denial) and Harry's unable to successfully purge the emotion even with Tuvok's help. By the end of the episode I get the feeling that for all the clearly in-depth study Tuvok has done of love, the emotion is still one he isn't able to entirely control - in himself or others. He is lonely as a consequence of loving people who cannot be with him and when asked if he will always be doomed to this loneliness, we the audience may be driven to ask ourselves - why is it that he’s so lonely if he claims he does not feel love? If love is something so inessential to him, something he can so easily break down and throw away, why does he seem to unconsciously seek it out? Tuvok cannot answer.

Violence or anger on the other hand seems to be handled more like something innate to all Vulcans that Tuvok does have to deal with and be vigilant about but is not unique to him if that makes sense? There's no throughline of violence throughout Tuvok’s life, no personal story from his past about a time anger consumed him nor any episode (to my memory) that deals with Tuvok (in his right mind) being angry or violent. I'd say the closest I can recall is "Rise" as a culmination of Tuvok being mean to Neelix but even Neelix in that episodes doesn't identify Tuvok as being an angry person. The words used in the scene to describe Tuvok/Tuvok’s perceived behavior towards Neelix are interesting: Contempt, sarcasm, hostility, dismissive, condescending, ridiculed. Even words that may indicate anger like "contempt" or "hostility" seem to me to point more towards a sense of superiority found in Tuvok. He seems to feel (at this point) that Neelix is beneath him, unworthy of his time, and thus a pest. Even Neelix says "You have no feelings for me, but you have feelings against me." So I would say instead of this episode being about how Tuvok is angry at Neelix, it more points towards Tuvok being unreasonably cold towards him; unempathetic, unfeeling, unfriendly. More a LACK of emotion than the feeling OF anger if that makes sense? 

Tuvok generally seems to characterize anger and violence as a 'barbaric' or ‘primitive’ (it’s loaded) emotion found in others that he by nature of being Vulcan has long since mastered. To me these things just seem altogether more distant to his character than love, which he speaks about in depth and is vigilant about and has episodes dedicated towards the struggle to suppress and manage - all while in his right mind. That to me implies he struggles with it more and it also seems much closer to his character. Ex: It’s routine for all Vulcans to have violent urges and have to control them. It is not routine for all Vulcans to be banished by their fathers because they got crushes on a girl and are ready to give up everything to pursue that feeling. Returning one last time to "Random Thoughts", I’d argue that it showcases how much mastery Tuvok has over any violence or rage he feels than the opposite. He's able to remain on a planet that falls apart & tries to lobotomize you if you so much as get annoyed when someone shoves you - and he's able to do so without any issues (to the point that he’s seen strolling and talking casually with the chief examiner in fact! She even makes unforeseen telepathic contact with him at one point & never remarks on him having violent thoughts of any kind to my recollection). 

On top of calling his own violent thoughts "unconscious" when Guill comments on them, Tuvok offers to further suppress them if they bother the man (& thinking about it now, the fact Guill can sense them at all when the lobotomy lady couldn't might indicate Tuvok's intentionally trying to lure him in given Guill’s a suspect at that point), and when Guill forces a meld on him Tuvok is able to control his own mind so well that he uses the forced meld against his attacker. 

To me, none of this shows Tuvok STRUGGLING with anger or violence. Just again that they’re a part of him. In fact, as I said, to me it shows how well he's able to navigate the darker parts of himself, keeping them under control to the extent that he's capable of pointedly weaponizing those darker elements if he’s given no other choice. The way Tuvok acts in that episode and navigates the situation just doesn't read to me as someone who struggles to suppress rage or violence - more someone who knows they exist within him (by nature of his being Vulcan) but has extreme confidence in his control over them and is proven right.

In summary, Tuvok never seems to indicate a personal struggle with his anger or violence. In episodes where he’s forced to express these things it is because of some sort of external force and by the end of the episode he’s fine and nothing implies he will continue to experience any problems with or lasting impact from those emotions. 

Love on the other hand is treated much more like a part of Tuvok, an aspect of his personhood and something he does struggle with uniquely, not just as a consequence of being Vulcan. We learn more about Tuvok as a person through his love. Love is used as a vehicle to explore him as a character - how it sneaks up on him, how he holds it firmly in place, how he ignores it, how he fights against it. And, importantly, at the end of these episodes there is no ‘whew, that’s all over!’ feeling. At least not to me. We instead get the sense that love will continue to be with Tuvok in some form or another and that he cannot simply banish it to the depths of his unconscious mind like he can with his various other emotions. It is, in some way, special. 

Anyway, I hope that all made sense! Thank you for reading!

[saltedume]

[bumblingbabooshka]

Ensign Tuvok. Why is he so heartbreakingly pretty? [Patreon | Commissions]

[bumblingbabooshka]

How many crewmen came in their pants during persistence of vision?? Realistically.