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Blinded Angel || Gachiakuta x reader Fic Masterlist CONTAINS MANGA SPOILERS!!

Plot: You've always been important to Tamsy Caines as an older sibling. Especially after he met you so many years ago after you saved him after he fell from the Sphere the first time. Burnt, bloody and in desperate need of help. No matter how ugly he appeared to be, you still saved him from the No Man Land. Now you've slowly become more important to him that he doesn't want to let you leave him. Masterlist previous chapter next chapter

This chapter is the reason for a lot of the Trigger warnings on the masterlist so take that into consideration for this chapter

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Chapter 5: Dealt Hands

Life tends to favour some people over others. You are not one of those people.

XX May XXXX, 6 Years Ago

Your voice humming as you glance up ahead as you look out from the attached cart to the motorbike your father had attached against his bike for you and your mother to sit in. A couple of scraps tightened and stuck to the side that barely fit the two of you. The only thing stopping sad from getting into your mouth and nose is the bandana wrapped around your face and the goggles on your eyes.

Your eyes watch the drifting sand from the wind before the cart comes to a sudden halt on the side of the dirt path. Your father gets out of his seat, your mother unbuckling off the seatbelt to your shared seat, letting you hop out of it first.

You take a couple of steps out towards seeing the desert, in the further distance you could see a building trash heap from the people your family curses out - Sphereites, no good, really bad people. The ones who destroyed your home by dumping trash down. You feel a hand against your back before you get pushed. Your body takes a tumble down the sandy hills as sand fills your mouth. You cough and spit it out as your head turns up.

Your eyes widened as you watch your parents get back into the vehicle. "Mama... Papa... Where are you..."

Being abandoned by your parents at the age of 10, being considered a useless piece of shit, not worthy of a family.

You try and run up the sandy hill as it crumbles beneath your feet letting you fall, trying to crawl up as those now unfamiliar words scream out towards the people who were meant to care about you disappear along the road. You reach the top, lonely without anyone to care or love you. Tears start to stream down your face as you cry out. Somewhere that no one can hear you.

You had to defend and survive out in the deserted lands the ground is now. You barely reached the closest town alive to be taken in by a caretaker. Yet when you could have thought your life improved, that caretaker was as shitty as your own parents were.

"Get the hell out you brats!" The bottle of what use to be alcohol slams against the shut door - shattering all over. Trying to catch your own breath in that moment as you hear a scream and cry from behind the door. Your hands shake as they grip onto the handle. Your head presses against the wooden door as you could hear your fellow orphans crying out as they got injured.

If you keep your eyes shut, none if its real... if you imagine a happy family, none of this is real. That's what you tell yourself as you try to ignore the cries every night. You had to survive here. This is nothing like the desert - at least that's what you try to tell yourself...

Thought there were a few good things...

A girl grabs onto your arm as she pulls you alongside her. You follow quickly as a group of children - maybe 5 or 6 that were just a year or two older - brought you up the ladder to see the couple of mattresses laid on the ground. Some were drawing stars against the wall. The little girl who brought you up grins a bit before she starts to draw against the wall.

A bright green star was drawn with crayons as the name 'Olive' was written down before she looks over at you with a grin. The small purple bruises against her skin were hard to notice sometimes.

You pick up a crayon of your own colour before drawing a star, reaching for the highest point you could before pausing at writing your name. The girl looks at you seeing your hesitation before she stops and hums.

"Do you like your name?" You gently shake your head before the she thinks again and suddenly announces. "You are [Name] now!" The older children hush at her which gets a small laugh out of you before you finally wrote your name down.

[Name]...

You stare at the name for a moment before writing down the second part of your name, the only thing that can remind you now of what you use to have in your life. Though at the time it was used as a way to hope your parents would see and find you here.

[Name] Saiseriet...

...

The age 12 didn't make anything better. Everyone is starving, the caretaker spends everything on getting drunk at night. Your body can barely live with the couple of scraps you find all over.

You barely managed to leave your home the one night. The growling of your stomach too loud for anything else as you step through the streets. They were silent, a couple of people maybe left on the streets as you walk.

Your stomach growls louder with each step until you stop, curling right in the middle of the street as your arms wrap around your stomach. You press your eyes shut tightly for a moment before hearing someone whistle. Your eyes glance up towards a couple of figures. The one guy in the middle steps out towards you.

The light of the streetlamp shone down to cast a shadow over his face as he takes out a couple of scraps to hold out to you. Your eyes land of the food before taking it, stuffing your own face with the food to nourish your stomach.

The figure smiles as he stands over you. "Hey kid, why are you so hungry out here. It's dangerous this late out in the evening." The figure bends down to reach your height as he watches you finish up the couple bits of food you were given.

You glance towards the guy for a moment before finally speaking. "We don't have any food at the orphanage... or money for clothes.." Your hands pull at the shirt that contained too many tears in that needs to get fixed. The guy hums a bit as he looks at you. "Hey kid, do you wanna work for me and my men."

You look up at him, the light slowly disappearing as his figure covers up the street light. A smile settles on his face. "You can get some good money and get all the food and clothes you want." Your eyes lit up slightly at hearing these words.

You slowly nod your head in agreement.

... How could you have known what these men would force you into...

"PLEASE LET ME OUT! I'M NOT A SPHEREITE!" Screams and cries of a child call out as she gets shoved into the back of the van. Your body stands frozen up as the guy pats your back, harshly. "Get going kiddo. The sphereite scraps won't find themselves."

You stare out at the waste land of trash piles - recently a storm of trash fell down onto this lands. The guy shoves you forward before you look back at him.

"But I don't have a gas mask... Shouldn't I wear one like-" The guy pulls the bandana that was wrapped around your head down over your face. "This will keep you safe. Now get going." You get shoved once again, taking a couple steps as you glance towards the truck containing an innocent person, someone who lives on the ground like you. She cries and plead for an escape - promising to not be those vicious sphereites.

You can think about going to be the hero, save her and tell someone about this. Yet the promise of providing you a stable source of food... yets you choose to turn a blind eye.

Getting scooped up in the work of human traffickers was shitty. The bare minimum amount of money you earn from the couple of fingers, guts, head, eyes, clothes and teeth. The money was enough for you to buy enough food for a couple of weeks for yourself.

"What do you mean you found nothing?!" Your boss shouts as he tosses you against the truck. The air in your lungs forced out of your lungs. As you gasp for air his hand grabs at your throat. Tears brimming out from your eyes. Your hands reaching and grasping at his hands to let you go, yet it wouldn't do anything.

"We pay you so much to go dig out those human scraps. yet you came back empty handed!" He shouts towards you, lifting your body before slamming it back against the van to make you let out a cry. "Do you know how much we could make selling you off, a finger, your lungs, your pretty little head. People will buy anything if we call you a Sphereite." Tears were filling up your vision before he let go, letting you gasp for air at the ground.

"So never come back empty handed again. Bring us a random person and we can turn them into scraps. Or you will be the next product." As you gasp for air with tears still stinging your eyes. "Yes...sir.." You cough out as a bag of money gets tossed in front of you. The people who are considered your co-workers laugh as they swap out their drinks and cigarettes for new ones in that moment. They couldn't careless about you.

Your eyes glance towards the truck as someone is getting pulled out, a scream from them as a weapon lifts up and you look away, shutting your eyes in that moment. You reach and grab the money infront of you before pulling yourself up to go buy yourself food.

Some people didn't bat an eye as you came to buy food, your shirt pulled up to cover your neck covered in bruises as you go back towards your 'home'.

You step in and go towards the kitchen area, starting to cut and slice some food to section it off into different containers and bags to hide around so no one could take the food away from you.

You were so focused on getting this done fast that you didn't hear a child walks into the room as he looks towards you. "[Name]...? Is that something I can eat? Pretty please..." You stare towards him. He didn't work hard for this food, you did. You had to suffer with your shitty boss to earn that money for the food. Though as the child stares as you hand off a packet of food.

Your eyes focus back and sectioning off the food - planning to make up that food pack somehow by cutting out some food from other bags. Your kindness could let you suffer for a day...

"Mhm! Wow Big Sib/Sis/Bro! This tastes really good!" You stop as that word came out from his lips as you look towards the small child, smiling as he eats up the food happily. He was messy as he ate it with the sense of desperation, he had for getting something to eat.

You stare at him for a bit before you finally point towards yourself. "Did you just consider me... your sibling?" The child nods a bit as a smile rests on his face. "Yeah! You're the best sibling ever for giving me food. We are a big family right?"

Siblings... Family. Those words that you barely ever heard made your stomach twist and turn. You felt light as a warm feeling spread across your chest. You've come to crave that feeling.

The sense of belonging and family. You wish for that feeling to come back again.

"Yeah... We are a family.."

So that day was when you decided to turn this house into a family. You started to work more, you brought more and more human scraps to give back to your boss while bringing back other scraps to give to the town for more money.

"I'll do anything to earn more money" You tell your boss as you stand infront of him. He hovers over you. "I want to make more to help feed my family."

A chuckle comes out of him, laughing at the idea you had a family, though you were more determined to make such a place for yourself.

"More work involves new tasks that you may not want to do, involving the other part of our work. Can you do that." You stare at him. You would do anything to create this haven of sorts. The feeling of being wanted and needed. You nod your head.

"I'll do anything I can." For your family.

That money became the only thing running the house. The next two years of your life was the slow improvement. Olive and the rest of the older children got taken in by others or they escaped once turning 18 years old. You chose to focus on taking care of the house - the children remaining started to cling onto you and call you their sibling.

"[Name] help me!" "[Name] Look!" The children would cheer at seeing you, it brought that same warm and joyful feeling to you. This is your family...

Though deep inside you knew none of this was permanent. Once you age out in the next 3 years. You will have nothing. No Family. Just a name attached to a criminal's face.

...

You step out into the No Man's Land with the burning feeling of the poisonous air in your lungs. You continue forward as you glance around the area. The faster you find fingers and body parts, you can leave. Your breathing was harsher as you dug into the trash, pulling out a hand as blood seeps out of the end where the arm use to be attached. You press your lips against each other before you tuck it away into your bag.

You stuff it away before you continue to walk on ahead. Your eyes look around before stopping, seeing a body on the ground. You see slight movement so you decide to call out.

"Hello?!"

You move towards the body to stop and stand over a small boy's body. Strands of blonde and blue all messed around on the ground in the mud as burns stain all over the boy's body as blood and puss pours out.

You bend down to touch against his neck, feeling a slight pulse, letting you know he was still alive as you finally look down, the clothes you've been so use to seeing crushed underneath layers of trash.

"A... Sphereite?" You whisper softly at the boy in that moment. You scoop him up in your arms before starting to walk out of the zone. His eyes stare at you before they close, knocking out within your arms.

You stare at the unconscious body - knowing he still lives with how he was still breathing. This... He could give you so much money if you gave him to your boss.

That is the first thought that came to mind as you stare at him. Though as the screams and cries resurface in your memories of the women, men and children taken by those people, makes you wonder what they would do to this boy - a real sphereite.

These people are meant to be horrible shitty people who've destroyed your lives down here. Yet this is just a child. Someone who wouldn't have any power above... You glance at the dirt and trash surrounding you. The affects these people have had on your home. Yet... does causing their suffering down here truly bring salvation?

You stare at the boy in that moment, you know your boss would be a hell of a lot angrier if you were going to let this boy go. Something he could really sell alive as well. You could imagine how much of a cut you would be given that could give you a life once you leave the orphanage.

Though as you stare at the boy. you slowly placing him on the ground, starting to take off his jacket...

...

"You barely found shit today! Just a hand and a jacket?! You better work more next week to make up for your lack of effort!" The voice of your boss echoes through your mind as you lean on the chair a bit, before a voice cuts your thoughts

"[Name], You got a death wish!" A loud voice was shouting as you glance up towards the older lady infront of you. You can only grin a bit sheepishly. "Sorry Gran-Gran Doctor. I didn't mean to worry you. But I'm perfectly fine! See" You grin towards the person you called 'Gran-Gran Doctor', holding up two fingers to make a peace sign.

Before you got a small bonk on your head and flinch. "I told ya to stop going into those No Man's Lands! Are you asking for a Death Wish you idiot! And stop calling me that!" You only pouted a bit. "But Gran-Gran Doctor." It's the only way you can take care of your family.

Your eyes wonder over to notice the two-toned hair boy was awake and staring towards you. "Hey you're awake!" Your voice chirps and hums as you get up, going towards the boy's bedside. You grab the chair from the desk and sit down right at the bed side. "How are you feeling? You're lucky to be alive lil guy." Your hand moves to reach and pat his head, though seeing him flinch a bit away, you stop yourself and rest your hands in your own lap.

Your voice hums happily a bit as you glance at him. The boy stares at you for a bit before down at his body. His jacket and tanktop were removed to have his whole torse and parts of his arms wrapped up in bandages. He reaches his hand up to touch his eye where the bandages cover up his eye. You can only imagine the pain he is feeling.

"You were covered up in burns. I don't know how you got them. But don't worry! Gran-Gran Doctor is the best-" You proceed to recieve a second whacking on the head after trying to cheer up the silent boy.

"You're lucky to be alive Boy. Those No Man's Lands are-" The Doctor continued her squeal about how dangerous the No Man's Lands are. "He's fine!" You interrupt, you really don't need her to start yapping the sphereite's ear off. "He won't go there anymore. Right?"

Your smile was bright as you look towards him, he only nods in a response. "When you feel all better we can head out." He watches you for a moment before he got out of bed as you finally pay off your gran-gran doctor as you lead the boy out of the building.

As you lead him to collect food and sit down with him. Your eyes glaze towards Olive - your own heart tugging at itself at thinking how you wish to be in her position... Though you should be happy for her. You decide to focus back on the blonde and blue hair child infront of you.

"How do I get back up there."

You would have asked the same if you were in his position. Hell, you asked yourself how to get home to your parents when they left you behind. So you can only tell him what you could.

"From my knowledge, you can't get back up there. Sorry." You apologise to him. He stares at you, you could see the slightest of hopes fade away as you sat infront of him, telling him something he didnt want to hear.

"I'm saying from what I know." You finally continue to speak to the boy seated infront of you. "The place you fell from in the sky, it's called the Sphere down here. No one has ever came down or gone up, atleast not known by anyone around here." The boy deflated a bit at your answer, clearly now not being able to get back up there.

"It's not that bad down here." You tell him softly. You take a deep breath, you have to explain a lot to him. "The place you came from, the people up there haven't been the nicest to the rest down here. They tend to drop tons of their trash down here, which has accidentally hurt people, their families and more."

You glance at your own food, slowly stirring it with your chopsticks a bit before looking at the boy once again. "Because of how these people, Sphereites as we know them as since they live on the Sphere, a lot of people don't like anyone who comes from there. Even if they haven't hurt anyone."

"Why do they hate all of us?" That question sounds simple, yet you yourself don't truly understand the feeling of hatred, you could say you hate your parents for leaving you, but you don't. Somewhere deep inside you want them back.

"Well, to place it simply... If you are in a room with 5 people, your eyes are covered and someone takes your food in front of you away so you are hungry. You don't know the exact person who did it, but you could blame everyone in the room for the actions of that one person."

"That's not fair." You nod your head in agreement with the boy. "It isn't, but some people don't think that - they believe its fair to blame anyone even if they couldn't do anything to help. Some of those people are so upset and angry that it bottles up over time and then bursts out on anything that could do with that hatred."

You smile softly and sadly. "I know it's not something you want, but you will be down here for a long time, unless we can find a way to get you back up. You can live with me."

The boy stares at you in that moment. "Okay.. I'll stay with you." You look at him with a smile, clapping a bit as to cheer him up a bit. "Wonderful!"

Another child lost and desperate in need of a place. You can provide that family for him. You can give him safety til he finally gets a home down here. You'll continue to be the perfect temporary sibling for him like everyone else.

"We never properly introduced ourselves. I'll start! My name is [Name] Saiseriet." You brim with joy as you grin towards the boy. The boy glances at you before the name finally came out.

"My name is Tamsy Caines..."

You'll be the perfect fake family for him.

...

The bruises against your skin remind you of your working hours that day. You pressed some of the foundation against your neck in the backroom of the restaurant.

"[Name]?" Olive's voice calls out towards you as you spread the liquid across your face to successfully hide away the injuries before you step out of the bathroom to look towards the girl.

"Hey Olive." You smile towards her, which she just stares at you a moment. "It's getting late, we'll be closing up for the night since my pa is now getting taken care of in the doctor's office for the rest of the day..." She glances to the side a bit.

You look towards the girl, the one person left with you in this town from the beginning of your stay in the caretaker's home. She isn't as malnourished as before, her skin no longer pale and thin. You could feel the dreaded bubbling in your stomach at thinking about her being accepted into a family instead of you, but you push it down deep away. You have to be happy for her.

"Hey... If the caretaker is giving you trouble still after all these years..." Olive spoke softly as she avoids your gaze. "You can always come tell me... I'm sure Branch can help in someway..."

"Everything is fine. Especially since I've taken up the caretaking role for everyone." You reach out to cup her face, getting her to look right at you as you smile softly. "Everyone is happy. More people are getting adopted out and I'm helping the new children that come in."

"But that isn't what you're meant to be. You're still one of the children at the orphanage." You smile at her. "I'll be fine. I'm happy with my role. Don't worry too much. I'll get going before I cause any more issues for you." You gave a small wave and left. As you walk away, your back towards Olive who was watching you leave. You finally let your smile drop. You stare up at the sky above you.

Is your struggling that obvious to everyone around you?

You felt a drop touch your face as the rain slowly starts to come, raining down onto your cheeks. You look down as your hand holds out into the rain, letting a few drops land on it gently as you stare at it.

You love the rain... It can cry freely without worrying about appearances. It then creates a rainbow with the sun when it no longer feels so sad.

You wish you could be the rain some days. Yet you have to be the sun. A bright light to bring safety and love to everyone without showing your suffering pain.

As you stop in front of the orphanage you take your own deep breath, relaxing yourself with a smile before pushing the door open. You hope the foundation against your face, masking the bruising around your face and neck didn't disappear from the rain.

You take off your jersey before hearing a set of foot steps to notice the boy you saved out in the No Man's Lands. You smile up towards him

"Hey Tamsy." Your smile brightened up at seeing him. He stares at you as he was covered in the new scars from his fall. "I got us some good money! Let's go out and eat! Lets get all our siblings and get some good food!" You can feel happier once the children all call you a good sibling again, yes... Remind yourself of the family you created.

"You're wet. And it's raining outside." You stare towards him and pout childishly. "I like the rain and i'm fine! I won't get sick." You chirp a bit, your hand pressing against your chest. As your voice echoes through the home, more children start to poke their head out at seeing you, they start to crowd around you, cheering your name as you laugh out.

"Lets go get dinner everyone!" The young children cheer around you, grabbing the couple of rain coats and boots left around the door you've bought for them over time. Tamsy looks at you before shaking his head.

You smile towards the boy before the younger children grab at your hands, pulling you out into the rain once again, before you could grab your rain jacket again - letting you fall ill over the next days that you still had to work in.

...

"[Name]! Come on! Come on!" The little girl, Remi, grips onto your hand, her other hand gripping onto her clutch as she was trying to pull you along with all her might. You let out a laugh. "I'm coming! Don't worry!" You follow the girl as she leads you out. Tamsy stood to the side as he stares at the little girl taking you away.

You glance back at Tamsy, who didn't look too impressed with you getting pulled away. He moves to follow, grabbing your free hand as the boy's face curls into a bit of a pout, cute. "[Name], We were going to hang out for the day."

You glance back towards the boy, as the girl tugs on your arm again. "Big [sib/sis/bro]! Come on!" The girl continued to pull with all her might, though an 7 year old's strength compared to a 15 year old was nothing. You look at Tamsy, a small apologetic smile rests on your face. "I know Tamsy. How about you come with and see what little Remi wants to see. Then we can continue to hang out." You gave your alternative, before the girl cut you off. "No! I only want to show [Name]!"

"[Name] was hanging out with me first." The boy huffs out as his hold on your hand was tighter. You glance between the two children who want to drag you off to themselves.

Great. This is the one thing that comes with being an older sibling, being the problem solver - thats what you tell yourself. You have to try and solve this without either of the two getting fully upset with you. Considering your options - both these children would dread getting embarrassed in public that you slowly let yourself fall back a bit, catching Tamsy off guard as you plop onto the ground, you cross your legs as your arms were still a bit in the air. "Alright. Then we stay right here."

"No we can't." Tamsy argued a bit. He glances around at the couple of people walking past you all, staring at what could these three children be up to. "You're in the middle of the street."

The little girl continued to pull at your arm, letting out a whine. "[Name]! Come on!" Tears on the edge of bursting out of her eyes. Tamsy felt his cheeks turn a shade of pink from embarrassment. These people staring towards you, Tamsy and Remi. You didn't mind too much - you've had to deal with the gaze of people getting taken away from their homes as they plead for your help, blaming you for their misfortune.

A bit of embarrassment feels like nothing compared to that.

"Fine you can go. But you better get back here right away." Tamsy hisses a bit, it was more demanding that you realise, but you smile a bit. "Thank you Tamsy for helping me solve this stalemate. I'll be back as soon as possible." You reach over, gently patting on the boy's head, who's cheeks continue to keep the shade of red on them before you get dragged away from him.

..

You enter back into the house. The bag of money in your hand as you still were going to go out to pay for food later on. Though as you look up to see the man you never wanted to. You stare at him. "Hello sir..."

"I see you're bring funds into this household..." His words are slurring to inform you how drunk he is. You took a step back as he moved forward. Your eyes gaze down to see the bottles of glass around your feet, making you more tense at seeing the amount. Everyone was out luckily, a day of learning as one of the older children who use to be in the orphanage, came to visit for a while as all the children would have wanted to see him again and talk for a while.

This left you alone with him. The caretaker glances up at you. "So... where is my cut." His voice sneers a bit as his body leans against the wall. "I am allowing you to work. So ya better be giving me a cut for being so caring." You stare at him, you kept silent for a moment before finally speaking, pulling out your most caring tone. "I am not able to. The money given to me is for food for everyone. I can try and ask for a raise to pay you as well but-"

"You work for those smugglers don't you." You stop speaking, confirming it to the man. "Those men traffick people, children." He sneers a bit more as he continues to speak. "How would everyone feel if I told them about your escapades... What would the law do to you." You stare at him, your own vision darkening at the implication. The destruction of everything you've built up in this home with that dirty money. You could see everything getting destroyed instantly, bringing in the law would take you away. You would have nothing left.

"So if ya don't want me-"

You swung first.

"You UNGRATEFUL SHIT!"

Your vision stained with red as you found yourself going into the living room to avoid the 3rd bottle being swung towards you. Your hand reaches to grab onto anything, A lamp that you swung, whacking into the back of the man's head before he stumbles backwards. His words slurring that you couldnt understand anything before he fell back against the couch, knocked out.

"Shit man..."

Your breathing was all over the place as you stare towards him, the hints of red dripping down against the back of the couch. You place the lamp down as you stare towards him still. Hearing a slight snore, calms you down enough to know you didn't kill a man today.

You've probably killed a hundred in your work though...

You hear the slightest of movement and turn your head towards the doorway, worried who would come upon this scene. You stare at the 11 year old boy who was horrified at seeing you. You. You're a monster in his eyes now, aren't you?

"Oh Tamsy..." Your voice was soft as you glance towards him, a small smile resting on your face as if you currently aren't bleeding out from the top of your head. "Sorry you had to come in to see this... again." You don't really hear the words slipping from your mouth as you were trying to focus on cleaning the ground.

"[Name], we need to get you to the doctor." Tamsy moves to your side, grabbing the back of your jacket. You glance up towards him. "No, I'm okay... This isn't the first time he has done it." You squint a bit, hearing that he wasn't calling you anything... He must have never seen you hit the man unconscious. Your body relaxes a bit that your image hasn't been ruined.

"He did this before?!" You move to press a lip your lips shut. You have to shut up now and leave before anything else... You'll clean up later... "Don't worry. I'll rest and I'll be back to normal. I promise." You smile a bit.

Though a knock on the door, you start to stumble towards the door. You can't leave it unheard, or else someone will walk into the scene you've caused due to the door being unlocked. You silently wish that no one was at the door, this was a prank. You gently push onto the door to open to see someone you recognised. "Oh hey Oliv-"

A sudden scream slips from her mouth as she sees your appearance, the container in her hands drops to the floor instantly as her hands move to cup your face, pulling it down to her height as she gets a closer look at the injury.

"What happened [Name]?!" You look at her as you speak out without any hesitation. "Oh, I slipped on the stairs. I was gonna wash up. Don't worry it doesn't hurt."

You lie right through your teeth. You're glad you've come to get use to speaking these lies, and no one would doubt you if you seem this bad. "We have to get you to the doctor." "noo, Ish fine-" "Your speech is messing up! Ah! The blood is covering both your eyes. Hold my hand! Lets go." The girl starts to pull you away towards the doctor.

You attempt to seem like normal, that nothing was wrong. "So Olive, have you been eating well? I would love to try some of your cooking!" "Don't start doting on me!"

Yeah it failed miserably. But at least your lie kept your family safe. You can't bring anyone else to know what is still going on...

...

"[Name]. Come 'ere" You walk over towards the one co-worker as he slaps you on the back. Your body tenses up as you could feel puke trying to come up your throat that you push down.

A human corpse. A pretty woman laid against as her hair was covering up her face mostly. You move your hand to cover up your mouth at the sight. You wanted to shut your eyes but you couldn't.

"The boss said you're gonna help us with disecting now?" You glance over towards your co-worker, who grabs your hand pressing the knife handle against your palm. You grip it as you stare at the body.

"It's quite simple. Yer gonna start cutting around the joints of the finger here." He uses a second knife to slice of a finger slowly, blood gurgling up from the injury. It makes you less hungry than before.

"Now you go." The guy comments as he waits for you to do the remaining part of the hand. You stare at the body, you could feel yourself shaking as vomit was edging closer and closer to coming out. Though as your gaze looks away you saw your boss standing and watching.

You turn back before reaching to hold the wrist of the corpse. You start to slice it. It was a slow process as blood started to spew out, staining against your hands as you sliced before you stopped once the fingers fell off. One by One.

Later that day, you threw up everything in your guts.

..

You've slowly realised that you've become sloppy with hiding out your injuries. You attempted to cover up the bruises and cuts against your wrists and neck, or the time you were barely able to walk on your leg. Even when you got a massive blue eye, you ended up trying to cover it up and lie about it not being painful.

Yet Tamsy always started to notice the injuries on you and questions it.

You look at him with a small smile. "Hey Tamsy. I got food for dinner." You let out a hum a bit as you move towards the kitchen, Tamsy follows behind almost instantly, his eyes focusing on checking out you. Your bruises and black eye sting under the gaze.

You place the bags on the counter, taking out a couple of vegetables and a packet of mince. You smile towards him. "Let's make some spaghetti and meatballs." You chirp a bit as you start to turn the oven on. You start to hum a soft tune as you start to wash the vegetables and place them down on the counter.

You reach to take the knife from the holder as you glance at it. You stare at the object in your hand for a while. Your mind drifts back to your work life in that moment. How the corpses stare up at you as you attempt to carefully dissect their eyes out, or how hard it is to slice through the finger in being careful of the bones...

Before you could dwell on those thoughts, Tamsy goes over, taking the knife from your hands. "Let me help. You shouldn't cook when you can't see completely." You turn towards him and let out a laugh before your hand reaches over to ruffle the boy's hair a bit. "Good idea. I'll get the spices then and make the meatballs." You slowly pull away as you take out the mince, two containers and place it into the bowl, starting to mix it, adding salt, pepper and a couple of herbs.

The silence gives your mind a moment to wonder. Though Tamsy cuts out your thoughts.

"How is the veg looking?" You glance over towards Tamsy who looks up at you. "It's fine." He huffs a bit and turns his head, shutting his eyes. "I can cut vegetables just fine- owch.." The boy flinches as he lifts his right hand, a slice on his pinky finger starts to bleed a bit as he moves back from the cutting board to run water over the injury, flinching at the slight sting.

You move to push open a cupboard, taking out a small first aid kit, your hands scavenging through the couple of scraps to take out a bandage, cotton and disinfectant. You dab some of the liquid onto the cotton before gently taking Tamsy's hand. "This is going to burn."

"Ow!" Tamsy hisses a bit as you press on the injury with the disinfectant. Tamsy pulls his hand a bit to get away from the stinging, though you held it still as you clean up the blood as much as you could before finally placing the bandage on his finger. You smile a bit at him, a small comforting smile. "There, all done."

Tamsy glances at his finger a bit before he looks at you. You move to grab the knife - staring at it for a moment before eventually slowly cutting up the vegetables. "Don't worry Tamsy. I got the rest of this."

You stare at the knife as you slice down into the vegetables. The slow cut through the carrots made you press your lips against each other. You continue to cut slowly. You try not to imagine the carrots as fingers.

.

"Gran-Gran doctor~ You're so sweet! Give me something to eat!" Your voice chirps a bit, with the two children, August and Eisha going 'yeah' right after. You smile towards the two children. You've come to slowly help the doctor during the weeks that her grandchildren would end up coming to visit.

Two children in front of you were cheering, one louder than the other, while their gran-gran doctor was patching you up. You pump your fist, which August happily copied you.

Suddenly a swift whack on their head stopped their chanting. "Where do you go on about getting something to eat huh?! I told you to stop calling me that!" Your cheeks puff out a bit at the comment. "but Gran-Gran Doctor-"

"What did I tell you about going out to the Polluted Zones! You are going to die one day you idiot." The shouting hag continued. You rest your hand against the palm of your hand, you've come use to these rants. You ignored most of it as your eyes wander to finally notice the door.

A guy, a year or two older at best stares directly at you. You stare at him before pulling up a grin onto your face. "Sup."

"What are you doing here now!" The doctor questions the new boy that entered into the room. You hop off the bed. You smile towards the two children as you dust off yourself. "I shall see you later Sir August and Lady Eisha." You dramatically bow, getting a small giggle out of the shyer girl before you plop down a bag of money on the table. "See you Gran-Gran Doctor." You gave a lazy wave before heading out the door.

You walk down the corridor before pushing it open and getting back into the town. As you check to see you had everything, a new voice speaks catching you off guard as the guy was hovering over you.

"You go into the polluted zones?"

Your gaze looks back towards the boy, taller than you, as you hum a bit - catching yourself a bit to relax. "Yeah, my boss sends me out there."

"Are you a cleaner?" He questions you next. A cleaner? What? "A cleaner?" He continued to explain what a clener was.. "Cleaners, they go out to kill trash beasts." You stare at him and shake your head. "Nope. I go out after a trash storm to collect stuff..." You glance away. You look to see if anyone around was from your work, you hope they weren't in that moment.

"Do you think I could meet your boss." Oh hell no. You hold that comment back as you press your lips against each other. You really need to think of an excuse for this... You can't let this stranger into the same situation as you... He shouldn't be that desperate like you are. "My boss is kinda nitpicky about who he takes." You glance up towards the guy, looking up and down before back up into his eyes. "I don't think he would think you're the best fit." The boy stares at you.

"Huh?" You shrug a bit. "Plus, I doubt he is accepting anyone else right now."

"Can't I go meet your boss?" "Nah. He is really busy." You hum a bit, your hand reaching to fidget with the bandana around your neck a bit. Can this guy stop being so desperate to get into your work. You're trying to help him here! You smile up at him. "Sorry I can't help. But if you're looking for work I know a couple of places for you." You chirp a bit.

"Yeah that would-" The boy gets cut off by a different boy's voice, someone decently younger than him. "[Name]!" The boy calls out. His eyebrows furrowed as he stares towards you and the new guy. Tamsy huffs a bit at staring towards the two of you.

You glance towards the boy. Seeing how his face was furrowing up and huffing out like a small territorial animal, it can't help but make you silently aw at his expression.

"Coming!" You call out. You look towards the boy with a smile. "This is a goodbye for now. But if you go down the street, the burger joint, and a couple of the stores need suppliers to help carry stock." You tell him the better job options before Tamsy comes over, grabbing at your arm.[Name]! Get away from that guy!" You could imagine Tamsy looking like a little kitten hissing towards this guy beside you.

His arms wrap around your own arm, starting to pull you away. You only laugh a bit, patting the younger boy's head. As you follow the boy, letting him drag you, you focus back on the guy behind you. "Everyone around here is really nice I promise!"

"Let's go [Name]!" You continued to get pulled, further and further away before you realised something and call out to yell towards the umbrella boy.

"I never got your name! I'm [Name]!" You grin as you call out.

"The Name's Enjin!"

"Nice to meet you Enjin!" Your grin was the last thing Enjin saw before you disappeared behind the corner with Tamsy, who was having a small huffing fit of his own for making him wait.

That wasn't the last time you've seen Enjin. He started to show up more and more into your life ever since that first interaction with him. He came from somewhere far off and does look out over the large light house in the distance of the town.

Enjin hovers over you as you were checking through the muddied puddle on your hands and knees as you searched around for something. He stood over you with his familiar umbrella over to cover the two of you.

"What are you looking for again?" Enjin glances to the side as a couple people walk past and stare at the two of you. You continue to search around. "A toy car. It's important to Toby. I need to get it for him."

You tell Enjin as he watches you search. You know how important this is to the little boy. You can't let it disappear in the mud forever. As you touch something, you pull it out to reveal the muddy wooden car. "Found it!" You look up at Enjin with a grin. "We can go give it to him now."

Enjin looks at you before holding his hand out, pulling you up out the mud as you smile happily. Enjin watches you before a laugh comes out. You turn to look at him as you stare at your pants, covered in mud all over.

"It looks like you shit your pants." Enjin snickers, before you reach down, flinging a bunch of mud towards him, The boy got the mud all over his shirt and jacket before he reaches down, tossing some your way that you try to dodge.

The two of you continue to throw mud at each other, truly forgetting what you both were doing out in the rain.

Being only two years younger than him, you managed to find a connection to him. Maybe it was the same feeling of having no parents in your lives, or it was the fact you both happen to click during that first meeting.

You laugh a bit as Enjin was glancing at the recipe you wrote down, he ended up coming to grab dinner at your house. You were lucky enough everyone else was out - including Tamsy since he hates Enjin for some reason.

You watch as Enjin attempts to fry the pancake before as he moves to flip it, it falls out, the burnt side up while the battered side sliding off the wall.

You couldn't help but start to cry laughing at the mistake.

Enjin gave you something that your family didn't. A moment to breath. You could avoid responsibility, become like a child once again. You felt like you didn't have the weight of many children's health and lives on your hands.

You hold Enjin's hand as you lead him along the street, the stalls set up a small market selling day for you all to buy unique and sale items. Tamsy stood beside you, holding your other hand with his eyes glaring right towards the other guy holding your hand.

You paid no mind to Tamsy's annoyance - he is just a child afterall and jealousy is a normal thing. You made sure to include him a bit as Enjin stops at a stall.

He glances at the hand crafted teru teru bozo, similar to his own one attached to his side. You glance over to look at them. "Aw they are cute." You smile a bit as you pick one up."I love these... They are cute." You smile a bit as you glance at the cutest looking one in your eyes before you get ready to place it back down.

"I'll get that one." Enjin points at the one in your hand before dropping some coins into the hands of the vendor. Enjin looks at you. "You can keep it." You stare at him, surprised a bit. "Oh thank you. I really appriciate it, but you didn't have to." You hum softly.

"Nah, you wanted it. So I got it for you." You smile a bit as you glance at the one attached to his belt - the cross eyes with a straight face. You move to tie yours to the same spot and grin at him. "We match!"

"I want to match with you too [Name]!" Tamsy calls out as you look at him. "Oh which one do you like." You smile towards the boy who huffs. "I don't wanna match with Enjin too! I just wanna match with you only!" He grips onto your hand tightly as you laugh a bit. "Ouch dude." Enjin comments as he stares at the little boy.

"We can match in whatever you want to." You smile at Tamsy, and the two of you ended up getting matching friendship bracelets made of threads.

You were just [Name] around Enjin, a child who wishes to have someone to accept them as family.

Your work day came to it's end. Your hands trying to wash off the smell of blood from your hands, yet you could still smell it after washing over and over.

You were slow with collecting your groceries that day. Your eyes dull as you take out the couple of coins from your pouch, handing it over to the vendor.

"[Name] deary? Are you okay?" The vendor asks softly as you look up, a smile attempts to grace your face. "Yeah I'm fine." You tell them softly. The vendor glances at you before up in the sky. "A storm is meant to hit later, so you better stay all warm inside your home."

You nod slightly as you look to the side. "I will. Don't worry..." Your eyes stop on a shop, one tucked away in the corner as it hands off the bottles of alcohol and cigarettes.

You stare at it for a moment before going over, taking a couple of coins out to purchase a box of cigarettes with a lighter - using the excuse that you are getting it for your caretaker which they somehow believe.

You walk off. You've seen your co-workers constantly smoking and drinking their lives away. You don't want to touch any alcohol after seeing the effects on your caretaker. You know that it's a bad habit - both of these are. You find yourself walking off towards the light house in the distance. Enjin never mentioned about working there today, so you chose to sit out there.

You sit over the edge, your hand reaching to pick out one of the sticks before lighting it. You press it against your lips as you breath in...

Before coughing vigorously. "Damn! This things suck." You cough and stare at the lit bud in your hand, your hand swatting away the smoke from you.

"I didn't know you smoked." The familiar voice lets you turn your head towards the umbrella boy walking towards you. He stands over you as the umbrella stays above him, now you as well.

"I don't... I just wanted to try." You stare at the bud in your hand as you see a second hand take it from you, he finds himself seated right beside you, his feet hanging off the edge with yours as he took a breath in. "I didn't know you smoked." Soon he came out with a familiar coughing fit as you did. "Hell this thing is nasty." His eyebrows knit together as you let out a small laugh a bit.

He looks at you as he continues to smoke the cigarette in his hand. You stare at him and hum. "Smoking isn't good for you." "Says the person who was trying it first." You watch him for a moment before looking out over the edge, seeing the polluted zone infront of you is insane.

You've been down there so many times, and in the No Man's Land's where you could have died multiple times.

"So... What's it like working for human traffickers." You choke on your air a bit as you glance towards the boy that was finishing up the cigarrette in his hand. "Wha- I don't-"

He glances over at you as you then avoid his gaze. "I learnt in town that there isn't a place that really goes out to get scraps from the polluted zones. And there are smugglers around." So he put two and two together then...

You glance down, bringing your knees up to your chest as you look at the polluted zone. "... Do you think less of me now?" Your voice wavers a bit as much as you tried to keep it back.

"No... You'd have a good reason to get involve. You aren't the type to get involved with those people willingly." You glance back over to him as he was pressing the cigarette into the ground, stopping the burning. You glance at him.

He knows... He doesn't think you're a bad person? Could you let it all go?

Rain drops hit your head as you glance up, the rain started to come down. Enjin instantly moves to hold the umbrella over the both of you as the rain started to go down harder.

The close proximity wasn't uncomfortable in anyway. You glance at Enjin once again. You felt safe that your mouth and heart finally let your feelings slip out.

"I hate it." Your eyes move towards the polluted zone. "I had to go searching for human bodies in the polluted zones right after the trash rain. So they could sell off the sphereite parts." You think back to all those people. "Yet that wasn't enough and they took innocent people too." Your eyes blur as tears build up and pour out.

"I chose to not do anything. I watched them cut people. I watched them take people." You hiccup and move to try and wipe the tears falling down your face. "I was so blinded in trying to get money that I ignored everything happening, no matter how bad it was."

You started to bawl out crying more as you hiccup and move to wipe away the tears. Enjin sat there and listened as his umbrella still held over the both of you.

"You did it to survive right? To help them in your orphanage?" You glance up towards Enjin before a small nod came from you. He glances towards you as he held the umbrella still, tighter than before.

His eyes go to rest on his forearms, the tattoos of his past hidden underneath the layers of clothes. He knew the moment he turned 18, he was getting tattoos to cover up those scars inked in his flesh. Enjin thinks back to his own orphanage, how everyone use to fight around, he went to find someone to help and yet... that person went and brought the worst on the place... The one connection he made in life.

So he ran away, getting saved by someone before being brought to a town at the age of 10 where he started to make better connections, worked, earned money and finally saw the guy who saved him one more time.

He looks at you, he hates to admit it. But he sees himself in you. You and him in the same situation yet chose different paths. You sacrified yourself and life into saving the children of your own home while he ran out to get help and then ran away when that problem became worse.

The two of you are so similar yet different. Enjin stares at you and he decided to speak, telling you something he would never want tell anyone else again.

"I was in an orphanage too. Everyone was fighting there and I hated it. So i snuck out and searched for someone who had money to help me." You look up towards the boy beside you, your face stained with tears and red.

"Yet that connection I made, ended up ruining everything." His umbrella tucked under his one arm as he pulls up the fabric of his shirt, your eyes wonder down onto the tattoos permanently engraved in Enjin's skin. It makes you feel sick at seeing that.

"When they were going to sell me off, I ran away." You stare towards him as he looks back towards you. "You went and tried to fix it yourself. You're a good person. I ran when I made my place shitty... You've done something that you wouldn't have. But that doesn't make you a monster."

You stare towards him as you move, closer. The movement stunned Enjin as your own arms wrap around him in a hug. You slowly move back and look at him. "You did your best. Don't blame yourself either..." You tell him softly. "You were doing your best for everyone there. Sometimes people you trust... aren't who they say they are."

The two of you sit in silence for a moment before you hold your hand out to reach the rain. Letting the water touch your hand.

"I love the rain. It's so calming. It can express it's feelings without worry."

"Really I hate the Rain."

"Seriously? Maybe you haven't had a fun rain day yet.." Enjin shugs a bit. "No rain day could be good." You move a bit closer to Enjin before reaching for the umbrella - which he surprising let you grab and take from his hold as you close it suddenly.

"Huh-" You laugh a bit as rain water starts to pour down on each of you. Enjin reaches to grab it as you hold it away. You step away. "Come get it Rain boy!" You tease out as you move away.

Enjin gets up as you did, you kept your distance, splashing in the puddles and kick the water towards the guy. He moves to follow you, kicking the water right back at you.

You move quickly around the flat part of the hill. Running beside the light house as Enjin tries to get his umbrella back. As you try to move, you slip on the mud as Enjin grabs onto your arms, preventing you from falling down.

He sighs with a chuckle as he takes the umbrella from your hand as you smile at him a bit, laughing. Though he didn't reopen it, instead he helped you up before plopping himself down once again, letting the umbrella rest against the fence.

You smile and sit beside him a bit, laughing as rain soaked both of you. You look at him before back at the view of the town for a moment. It was so far away.

"... I plan to leave to join the Cleaners since my 18th birthday is around the corner." Your breathing stops in that second before looking back at Enjin. He looks at you. "I'm joining as a supporter, unless I somehow get a vital instrument... I won't be around here longer."

You stare at him before looking down. "I see..." You were so close to him, you told him everything that has been kept locked up in your heart and he was going to disappear soon...

"In less than two years... You'll be 18 too?" Enjin questions, which you nod as a result. He stares at you right in the eyes. "Join me in the cleaners when you turn 18."

Your mouth opens slightly at the request, you stare at him. "Me? Join the cleaners? Didn't you just hear I work with human traffickers?" Enjin nods a bit. "Yeah, but you don't want to be with them. And if we explain the situation, I'm sure they would accept you still." You nod a bit - you want nothing to do with them, but why would they forget what you've done if you told them. Though there is some hope for you out of here...

"You should join the cleaners with me when you turn 18. By then I'll have worked for over a year and a bit... Then I can come back and get you." He looks at you. You were hesitant as you think. You will be forced to leave the orphanage once turning 18. You have nothing to your name when you leave. You'd be starting with nothing - or as a criminal if you work with the human traffickers still...

Though before you could answer, you heard someone call out for you.

"[Name]?"

Your gaze moves to notice Tamsy. "Tamsy? What are you doing out here?" The boy looks at you before glancing at the guy right beside you. Your eyes glancing at the weapon in the boy's hands before it shifts back into a wooden distaff- the same one you found him with.

"I've been looking for you. It's been hours." Tamsy focused back on you as he went over. He looks between you and Enjin before grabbing at your clothes. "Let's go. We're going back." You stare towards the soaking wet boy. You didn't want to leave Enjin yet, this was your last chance to talk to him. "We can stay out here a bit longer if you want. I mean it must be crowded at home to see you out-"

"Let's go. It's not safe out here." The boy demanded more as he pulls on your hand. You stare at Tamsy before letting out a sigh. He was soaking wet and you could tell he was crying earlier by his reddened face. "Alright. You walk a bit ahead. I'll be there in a moment. I promise."

Tamsy walks off towards the end of the hill as you turn towards Enjin. A smile rests on your face.

"Goodbye Enjin. Promise to see me again, okay?" Come see me and take me with you.

"Yeah.. I do." Enjin looks at you. He will come back for you.

You soon catch back up to Tamsy and the two of you would leave together. He reaches to hold your hand as you smile towards the boy. Though you could feel your tears falling again in that moment.

.

You're exhausted from the day. With the last remaining hours being spent taking care of everyone after crying to Enjin. You get ready to go to bed before stopping and seeing Tamsy.

"Hey Tamsy. Do you need something before bed?" Your voice softer as to not wake anyone else around. You smile gently at him tiredly

"I wanted to sleep with you tonight." You stare at him for a moment before a small laugh comes out. "Are you sure you do. It may not be the most comfortable." Tamsy nods his head a bit. "Yes."

You smile a bit and nod. You slowly lead him up towards a ladder, tugging it down to finally allow you to climb up. Buckets getting filled with water in corners of the attic, You go out towards a mattress on the floor. You pat the matric for him to join you as you both lay down.

"Me and some of the older kids at the time found this place and hung out here when they still lived here. They grew up and now live somewhere far away, in new homes..." You tell him softly as you stare at the scene drawn on the roof.

You glance at Tamsy for a moment before back up at the ceiling of stars. "Tamsy..." You wonder when the boy would go and find a family for himself too.

"Have you met anyone you would want to live with? Any visitors, store vendors?" Your voice laughed a bit as you continue to speak "If you keep huddling up with me you'll never find a place to call your home." You joke about yourself a bit.

Tamsy stares at you, his eyebrows furrow a bit. "I haven't. I want to only be with you." You turn your head towards him, your eyes a bit widened at hearing what Tamsy said. He what?

"I want to stay with you [Name]... I want to protect you and be with you always...." Your gaze stays on him as no words come out your mouth. Someone wants you in his life as your family? You've heard these words maybe a dozen times and those children would go to find homes without you.

Yet as you look at Tamsy, you can see the genuine feeling and want from him. He doesn't want to lose you in his life. It starts making you tear up a bit again. You laugh a bit as tears brim the corners of your eyes, making Tamsy panic a bit. "Are you sad?! Are you making fun of me?!"

You shake your head as you reach up to wipe the couple of tears. "No No! I'm not I promise!" You smile gently as you look towards the boy. "I would love to be your family, Tamsy. We can protect each other then, right?"

Tamsy nods his head. "We won't leave each other either right? And always love each other?" You held up your pinky towards him as Tamsy holds out his right one to copy you, before you interlink them and shake slightly.

"That's a promise."

...

Life has been going on. Your work life has dragged you out finally into the waste lands as you keep the bandana around your mouth. Breathing got slightly easier the more you wear it as you glance through the areas.

You were quick in digging up scraps before you stop and notice a wooden spindle. You smile a bit, thinking of your brother, Tamsy. It isn't made of the same wood, and could be different in size. But maybe you can take it to him so he can have a complete set.

You are proud of your brother Tamsy. He got a vital instrument too! Your brother is amazing. You can't help but feel cheery at knowing Tamsy wanted to be your family. You found a family of your own.

You hum softly as you scratch into the scraps for a moment as you hear a noise. Your head turns back as a trash beast piles up by you. It screeches as you move away quickly.

How did it sense you? You made no noise? Your breathing was rigid a bit as you move forward. You push against the trash pile as you move. The soft glow of your bandana started to appear as you move away. The danger made you feel so sick and scared.

You cry out as you slip and fall, scrapping your knees as you fell. You look ahead towards the fencing that was the only thing separating you from getting out of the polluted zone and dying. You glance back as the beast hovers over you.

Your hand grabs for the bandana that shifts in appearance as you swing it, slicing through the neck of the beast as it crumbles into pieces. A vital instrument now in your hands. You can't focus on that fact as you need to escape.

You were trying to catch your breath in those moments as you pull yourself up from the ground. You were getting closer and closer, Though as another screech behind you comes out. You turn back in that moment as then the beast started to gurgle up, it mouth splits open before something purple shoots at you-

A scream was the only thing that came from your throat as you fall down, trash tumbling and crushing over your body at the gate's edge. Your vision disappearing as you stare up to the sky.

Life tends to favour some people over others. You just had to be reminded that you are not one of those people.

-----------------

Wow that was long so it didnt get proof read, hope you all enjoyed! The story does get lighter after the next like 2 chapters.

This chapter almost didn't exist because Name was gonna be a blank slate type reader with just a good heart. That was until the first chapter came out and I decided to actually write out a backstory which ended up being one of the darkest ones I've made.

Also dw, there is a lot more chapters after this one. This note is important for those people who need it: Enjin and Name's moments in this chapter are entirely platonic. MC is 16 while Enjin is 17 turning 18 - any romantic interactions will only occur after they are both of age

Taglist: @riyousjin, @augustxapng

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