#gao wei

[incorrectdanceofthephoenix]

Dance of the Phoenix as Text Posts Part 1

[sinistercakes]

Dance of the Phoenix + The Onion headlines part 3

Bet you can’t even spot my smooth as fuck editing skills. And no, I didn’t even try.

Part 1|Part 2|

Oh look at that, I posted it to the wrong blog.

[raliciel]

which brother were that?

[incorrectdanceofthephoenix]

It’s a plan more cunning than a fox who’s just been appointed professor of cunning at Oxford University

[sinistercakes]

Gao Wei is having a bad day. In fact, he’s dead. Killed by that fan-wielding Feng Xun no less. At that exact same moment, in another universe far away, Jin Zixun is also having a bad day. A terrible day really, as he’s also dead and has been killed by fierce corpse Wen Ning. Meanwhile, somewhere in the Cloud Recesses, four year old Lan Jingyi suddenly feels awesome.

In part 66, Madam Feng bites back

In part 68, Jun Linyuan helps out

[sinistercakes]

Dance of the Phoenix: A Character Guide*

*by a very biased and unreliable narrator

Part Two: The Adults**

**and a magical bird

Holy Queen Gao Sheng

The mastermind behind all the evil plots going on. Hates cultivators, despite being an allegedly powerful one herself, and uses the cultivators to destroy each other. Jun Linyuan’s step-mother. Gao Wei’s aunt. Zuo Qingluan’s boss and mentor. Has a gorgeous wardrobe. Became evil after Mu Jiuzhou rejected her love in favour of becoming immortal. Has been slowly poisoning her husband for years to take over his throne. May have a thing going on with Lord Demon. Also called Ziyan by her nephew and Lord Demon, so I’m assuming that’s her birth name and Sheng is her courtesy name.

Lord Demon

Lord of the Darknight Court. Yu Mingye’s father. Definitely not in the running for the Dad of the Year award. Values power above all else, including his son. In cahoots with Queen Sheng. Helps convert Zuo Qingluan to the Dark Side. He’s strict and both physically and mentally abusive toward Yu Mingye, using the kid as little more than a slave. Disowns and abandons Mingye after he’s seriously injured, branding him “Useless”. Apparently does love Yu Mingye in his own weird way as he’s unable to kill him at a critical moment. No actual name given but I’m guessing “Lord Demon” is the title of the master of the Darknight Court because no parents would actually name their kid “Lord Demon”. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess his surname is “Yu”. Killed some puppies, that’s how evil he is. I’ll admit he’s very attractive, and the evilness ups that hotness by at least 20%.

Mu Jiuzhou

The only cultivator to achieve immortality but was interrupted during his ascension, causing him to fall into a coma inside the Dragon Phoenix Spirit Ring. Or something. Hero and first ruler of the Qianyuan Continent. Feng Wu’s Master. Spends most of his time asleep or appearing in Feng Wu’s subconscious to guide her. The only person to scare Lord Demon. Thankfully no relation to Mu Yao.

Colour Phoenix/Firecloud Giant Hawk

Was a badass Firecloud Giant Hawk that protected the Celestial Fruit in the Frozen Forest. Upon Feng Wu retrieving the Fruit, he goes to live inside the Dragon Phoenix Spirit Ring with Mu Jiuzhou, in the form of a little blue sparrow with a squeaky voice. Claims to be a phoenix. Acts as Feng Wu’s spirit guide and delivers her information and help at critical moments. Annoying to the point of endearment.

Holy Sovereign

King of the Qianyuan Continent. Well-meaning but kind of useless. Jun Linyuan’s dad. Does better at fatherhood than Lord Demon, but still not in the running for the Dad of the Year award either. When poisoning failed to kill him, he was simply overthrown by Queen Sheng and Lord Demon, and subsequently imprisoned. Seems to have been released so is king once more? No name given.

Gao Wei

Queen Sheng’s nephew and her righthand man when it comes to evil schemes. Head of the palace guards. Surprisingly loyal to his aunt. Was taken hostage but nobody cared. Total scumbag. Killed by a magical fan.

Wu Youdao

Bears the moniker of Ageless Child despite being both old and an adult. Very powerful master cultivator. Master Fang’s rival in chess. Has been holding a grudge against Dean Ning for decades and eventually takes a job as Junwu Academy’s librarian so that he can murder Ning and destroy the Academy. Realised Feng Wu’s actual identity and helps her discover who she is. Would’ve actually been a great mentor for her had he not hulked-out and died in a pointless bid for revenge.

Madam Feng

Feng Wu’s mother. Spends most episodes looking worried. Knows Feng Wu #2 isn’t really Feng Wu but doesn’t say anything, and continues to be a loving mother towards Feng Wu #2 regardless. Plunged her hands into fire to rescue her daughter’s necklace, knowing how precious it is to her. Take notes, Lord Demon, that’s how parenting is done.

Qiu Ling*

The Feng family’s maid and Feng Wu’s close friend. Is often an accomplice in Feng Wu’s trickery. Very loyal to Feng Wu. Teaches Feng Xun how to cook.

*I know Qiu Ling is around Feng Wu’s age but she wouldn’t fit on the other list.

Old Man Ba

Medicinal cultivator and renowned doctor. Teaches medicine and healing to Feng Wu. Might be an alcoholic. Is very much like a grandfather to Feng Wu. Has some of the best reaction shots in the show. Wonderfully sarcastic. Helps Feng Wu regain her cultivation base by using the Celestial Fruit to create the Nine Transformation Spirit Restoration Pill. Lives for Feng Wu’s cooking.

Part One: The Youngsters

Part Three: The Rest

[sinistercakes]

Gao Wei attempts to take Madam Feng hostage. Madam Feng birthed a Phoenix; she isn’t going to take this shit, and bites a chunk out of Gao Wei’s wrist, freeing herself. At the exact same moment, in another universe far away, Madam Jin watches Jin Zixun being his usual dickhead self to the Twin Jades of Lan, and has the sudden urge to bite him. Jin Zixun, feeling eyes burning into his back, turns to see his aunt glaring at him. She looks terrifyingly bloodthirsty.

In part 65, Feng Xun has the best day ever!

In part 67, Gao Wei has a bad day

[sinistercakes]

WWE’s Wu Youdao has Yu Mingye lined up for a chokeslam. Gao Wei takes great pleasure in this. The chokeslam is his favourite finisher, and it kind of feels like karma for when Yu Mingye kicked his ass and choke-lifted him inside Junwu palace. At the exact same moment, in another universe far away, Jin Zixun hits on the Jin Clan’s newest disciple, Chengmei, promising favour, riches, and luxuries. Young Chengmei, beautiful enough to belong to be an emporer’s bed companion, rudely looks Jin Zixun up and down and replies: “I may be low-born, but I still have standards,” and saunters off like he owns the place.

In part 54, Yu Mingye catches a feel

In part 56, Dr Yan is angry...yet again

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I’d like to give a special mention to these two brave but ultimately useless Darknight Court disciples. They didn’t even make it through the gate:

And why are these two pretending they care about Yu Mingye all of a sudden?