Discover Top Posts Tagged with #gardener stuff

i love that we have radio in our earmuff hearing protectors. I love it. It makes everything feel more majestic when a great song comes on. Like today as i was blowing leaves Alessandra's ''Queen of kings'' came on and DAMN if i didn't feel like the queen of them leaves right at that moment blasting them at full speed and gas yasssssss amazing

#shouting into the void #gardener stuff

On today’s episode of Shit Landscapers Find In Hotel Flowerpots In Miami:

an empty beer bottle, someone’s mascara, 2 cigar butts, misc coffee cups, a can of Fanta, a broken sprinkler head, oh hey

the teeth are new

#gardener stuff #The Plant Job #I’m more perplexed by the sprinkler honestly #they don’t even use that type on the property???#why is it upside-down in my draecena???#man I need to replace the moss in these pots

I don’t wanna be a Bitchy Gardener but I have to rant for a sec and I apologize for all this but

I wish people could be goddamn normal about things for like a minute.

And by things I mean Things. Like fucking trees. And ducklings.

Was sitting in a waiting room with my daughter at the dentist surrounded by little kids, and a momma duck goes waddling by with a crowd of ducklings outside the window. Our town’s 50% canals, so they’re everywhere. All the little kids go nuts oohing at them, but the woman next to me makes this disgusted face and says, “Ugh, they crap on my driveway, I’m so sick of it, whenever I see a nest in my back yard I smash all the eggs.” My daughter and every other kid there who heard her were 😨😨😨😨 and she just went back to scrolling on her phone.

This happens to me ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Iguanas are everywhere down here. They’re invasive. They’ll eat your garden. Yeah it’s a pain. They’re also silly as hell when they go running across the street. Anytime I’m driving with the kids and we see one booking it across the street, my son’s like “hey that’s a weird dog” and we all laugh because we can be NORMAL ABOUT THINGS. But I can’t say it to anyone else without getting a lecture on the fact that they’re INVASIVE and also BAD and EVIL because they’re ANNOYING. Suzy Izzard wanted to know “How do you have an evil herbivore?” Well, just annoy the hell of a south Florida suburbanite and poop on her driveway, I suppose.

I was working a Sierra Club event, doing talks about native plants and pollinators, and was having a discussion with someone else in the industry about the fact that iguanas don’t seem to want to eat natives. I said that’s a fab talking point for landscapers to get people to consider native landscaping and she shot me down because, she said, iguanas are so annoying we really can’t distract people away from killing them.

I mean, yes by all means we need population control, but in the meantime I have to worry about being shot when I’m on a clients property because people are taking their guns out after these things. I’ve literally walked into a clients yard and found him standing there with a rifle (NOT a pellet gun), trying to take pot shots at iguanas on his deck. I just turned around without a word and left, because I’ve said I’ll happily die with a watering can in my hand but I didn’t mean quite like that.

One of our neighbors had a pongam tree in their front yard, and it was GLORIOUS. It just looked like the platonic ideal of a tree. It was the thing fantasy tree nymph art is made of. I loved it. I mentioned to my boss once that it was beautiful, and got a ten minute lecture on the fact that it’s BAD. A BAD tree because it’s non-native. And also it robs 7-11s and mugs old ladies on the weekends I guess I don’t know it’s A FUCKING TREE. It cannot have morals. I KNOW it’s not native, it’s my job to know. But it’s pretty. It’s a pretty tree. I’m allowed to say “hey look at that pretty tree.”

Trees are morally neutral. Iguanas are morally neutral. DUCKLINGS are fucking morally neutral. They are not invasive specifically because they practice willful or premeditated malice.

But sure, I’ll stand on what used to be Everglades wetland, now drained and paved over for your gated community and listen to you whine about ducks pooping on your driveway. Sure.

You know who else is an invasive species? You are. Fucking bite me.

#gardening #gardener stuff #gardener rant!#native plants #invasive species #sorry #plants #iguanas #wildly specific gardener problems

Coworker of the week

#gardener stuff #gardening #bees #beeeeeeeees

Coworker of the week

#gardening #gardener stuff #hibiscus #I love hibiscus

Coworker of the week: the bagworm moth that built a pagoda in my clients rose bush

#gardencore #rose garden #bagworm moth #gardener stuff