#gathering courage

[patbertram]

Defining My Life

My fortune cookie yesterday told me, “Accept no other definition of your life, accept only your own.”

I’m not sure what the definition of my life is, not sure I need one, but somehow that “fortune” seemed apropos. Today I head out on the road again after a week’s hiatus in Tucson to continue my cross-country quest, a quest that perhaps defines my life right now.

Oddly, I feel nervous. Or maybe…

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[gwynne-fics]

Silent Scream, Heung-soo/Nam-soon, 206

good with his hands

(Sexy Things Warning so it goes under the cut!)

It’snot any different.

Rightnow, Heung-Soo is angry and hates him with every biting word that spills out ofhis mouth. He crashes into Nam-Soon, rough and punishing, while they try torecapture their Compatibility on the training room mat. His jealousy is hot andpulls Nam-Soon closer as he trails after him and into the empty showers.Heung-Soo yanks him into the only real private stall and throws their towelsover the flimsy door. He doesn’t bother to turn on the water. He backs Nam-Soonup against the cold tile and braces his hands on the wall.

“Turnaround.”

Nam-Soonswallows and tries to read Heung-Soo’s dark expression. He knows how much hewants whatever is being offered in this cold, damp space, but Heung-Soo hasnever been this kind of lover.

Nam-Soonwants to be punished. He wants to be held accountable to whatever Heung-Soodetermines as the cost. He’s always felt…safe…turning his back to ParkHeung-Soo. His heart races and he licks his lips. Heung-Soo’s gaze brieflydarts down and then back up.

Heturns around and presses his palms flat against the wall. Heung-Soo immediatelyplaces his hands over Nam-Soon’s and comes up, warm and solid, behind him. Hecloses his eyes and swallows.

Itis exactly the same.

Heung-Sootouch is always firm, not tight or forceful, and Nam-Soon hardens at the way heslides his hands over his forearms and up his arms. Nam-Soon curls his handsinto fists and bows his head when Heung-Soo scrapes his teeth over the back ofhis neck.

“Whois he?”

Nam-Soonlets out a low breath when Heung-Soo splays his fingers over his side afterdrawing his fingers steadily down his side. When he doesn’t immediately answer,Heung-Soo pulls his hips back and reminds him exactly what they are positionedto do.

“Hedoesn’t exist. I swear, Heung-Soo.” He hurries through the truth becauseHeung-Soo’s hands against his chest, his stomach, his hips all demand that thetruth be given quickly. “I love you.”

Theyboth flinch. It shudders through Heung-Soo’s body and vibrates throughNam-Soon.

“Idon’t believe you.” Except he does and Nam-Soon can hear it in his voice. Hisfingers are about to take him in hand and that is the last thing Nam-Soon willallow. He doesn’t get to feel that or crave that. It would feel too much likeforgiveness and he hasn’t earned that yet.

Hewhirls around and startles Heung-Soo. He starts to take a step back butNam-Soon eats the distance with an easy step forward. “Heung-Soo—“

Itis the same when Heung-Soo kisses him. Once more he is back up against a wall,the tile cold, and Heung-Soo warm. He wants to just forget and make promisesand beg to be forgiven. I miss you,he silently screams with every pass of Heung-Soo’s tongue. Let’s try again. I’ll be better this time. I love you.

Heung-Soopulls back and lets go. His face is tight. The anger and bitterness returns. Hereaches over and turns on the shower. The hot spray hits them both. “I don’tbelieve you. Get out.”

Nam-Soon obeys. It feels like a proper punishment.

[sirsreadingblog]

Bringing Back

So I'm thinking about bringing back Wattpad Wednesday but in a different format. I will -most likely- not include the "Cover" of the story since those tend to be changed out. It's also probably going to be once a month kind of thing. And I'm probably going to include writers this time around. This is something I've been thinking about for a while, and my only fear is if I'll be able to link the authors and the story properly. I mean, I'll do my best but it will take time. Now, I have to gather the courage to message two authors for permission to do a review on them.