Gayzer
I’m straight. I’m a straight woman. This much I know. But boy do I stare HARD at beautiful women.
I remember my first sexually curious moment in puberty was when I stole my uncle’s Playboy and stared at it one night.
I remember when I was in the Army and we had the women’s locker rooms with the communal showers and I had to make it a point to not fucking stare at some of them.
My dad asked me once if I was a lesbian and I said no. A few months went by and I came home on leave to visit again and he was like...Are you sure? Which was kind of sweet because he’s old fashioned but he wanted to be supportive. But anyway, I was like, I’m sure dad.
And then one day I was like, maybe I don’t know myself that well. Fuck it. Let’s find out. Met a pretty girl at a bar and kissed her and...ew. Scrunched up my nose like I just tasted Brussel Sprouts.
Went and got some dick. Yep. Straight.
But ladies, I’m sorry. I put out the worst mixed signals.
